Woe

Rainbow affliction spirals a nightmarish injection pumped into the continuation of us. I watch the memory of Katarzyna unravel inside my disconnected heart. Snow dresses Kat for gentle steps of individuality, tapestry blue evening sarong, white lycra long sleeve t-shirt; dementia wheels a spectrum of fluid madness, I am holding her arms, she is suffering forced awkwardness, her body is wildly exaggerated from the immensity of ignorance.

Cast into another vacillating interwoven witness I watch a young man wearing black pleated wool trousers, white t-shirt, black fedora cap; he is holding hands with a woman, her hair is a dark bob. The city is purposely flooded from an instigated explosion, a dam releases hurricane water; the couple evacuated everyone except for themselves. Three suited officers bear guns, the lover of his girl carries a switchblade; he cunningly slices their sudden release onto a raft. I watch him lay softly over her body; this moment drifts into my mind for eternity.

Standing before a double gate of premonition is a set of twins holding hands, both wear sack cloth, one flows chocolate, the other vanilla; barreling into the mass of wood is a red white and blue man riding an electronic horse. Carved chubby angels adorn a fallen world; apologies are unacceptable regardless the cause.

"Whose kingdom do you wander woman?"

"I don't know what you's saying!"

"Where are you?"

"I don't fucking know. I'm supposed to meet somebody. Why don't you come out of hiding?"

"I cannot show my face."

"Why the fuck is that?"

"I am not like everybody else."

"How?"

"You will find out."

"Well I came here to talk about a business."

"....."

"You know what it is?"

"....."

"It's got to do with dollar bills."

"Is that all you care about?"

"All my life people told me I wasn't going to be nothing."

"Money does not make a person."

"Then what does?"

"....."

"Well I don't think they liked each other too much."

"....."

"They was always fighting and hollering!"

"....."

"I don't think they wanted me at all."

"Your life is not about anybody else's wants."

"Then what is it about?"

"Desire."

"What's my desire?"

"Freedom."

"....."

"Money is not freedom."

"It sure helps!"

"When in terrible conditions money will be gone; when such arrives again there will be none. Unwise usage causes the same predicament."

"Sounds like you know a lot about losing and gaining moneys."

"....."

"Well that do make sense don't it?"

"?"

"I just want everything to be alright."

"....."

"I don't know what that's like though."

"Nobody does."

"I used to think I was a crazy but this fancy doctor said I wasn't."

"....."

"I sure don't want to hurt anybody like I was hurt."

"You will."

"How do you suppose that's going to happen?"

"You feel as though such pain is another's fault."

"Why didn't anybody save me?"

"You are not the only one."

".....I don't think about it like that."

"You are not the only one."

"....."

"Who are you?"

"I'm a person like everybody else. Why'd they treat me like that?"

"Adversity builds strength."

"What's that word mean?"

"Troublesome woe."

"I don't feel strong."

"....."

"I'll say I'm a sorry if I do hurt somebody."

"Apologies are knowledgeable detriment prior to the act."

"You saying that when I says I'm sorry I knew what I did before I did it and that's why I says sorry?"

"Yes."

"That do make sense don't it?"

"?"

"I ain't going to meet with them no more."

"What was it about?"

"Drugs."

"?"

"Some shit called morphine."

"What do you want with morphine?"

"I wanted to trap me a little gal."

"Why?"

"So's I can be her!"

"Why do you want to be her?"

"So's I don't got to be me!"

"I don't understand."

"I feel real bad all the time."

"....."

"I don't know what I did to deserve all this shit."

"You are alive."

"I sure am."

"You are able."

"Uh huh yes I am."

"You carry yourself."

"Yep but it sure is hard."

"You can never escape yourself."

"I'm a going to try."

"Who is the little girl you want to trap?"

"A doll."

"No human is a doll."

"I'm a going to make her one that's for sure if it ain't the last thing I do....."

"You will suffer."

"More than this?"

"Yes."

"How do you know?"

"One who suffers to cause suffering is a thousand fold alike."

"I'm a going to get it back?"

"Yes."

"I don't know how much a thousand is.....can't be that much....."

"....."

"I'll be seeing you one of these days; say what they call you anyways?"

"Queen of The Damned, Queen of The Dead."

"Well I's a better get out of your kingdom then....."

"Why?"

"It ain't proper!"

"What is your name?"

"Sharla."

"Hhhmmm....."

"Do you like that name?"

"Interesting....."

"That ain't really my name I just tell's people that."

"What is your real name?"

"Marsha but don't tell her that I do that."

"Why?"

"There's a lot of people that I pissed off."

"Oh?"

"I don't know what's I'm going to do but these people with real weird black hair and eyes told me they's can give me a world I can's hide inside of and nobody'll find me there."

"....."

"I won't ever believe it's real but I sure as hell's going to try!"

"What about Sharla?"

"The real one?"

"Yes."

"I never met the real one before; I call my doll that name."

"Oh.....what if she is real?"

"I'll be damned."

"....."

"And dead."

"....."

"At the same time."

"....."

"I don't feel so good."

"Your heart is ill."

"That's what that is?"

"Yes."

"Why is that?"

"You're hurting me."

"I'm hurting myself."

"Yes."

"I better go before them oinks come."

"Who is that?"

"The police!"

"....."

"I went to jail for fifteen whole god damn years."

"....."

"I'm a going to get her for that."

"Who?"

"Sharla! The doll I was telling you's about."

"....."

"I blame everything on her cause she don't know nothing. She's stupid...."

"....."

"She's a toy so I can do that!"

"....."

"She don't know nothing."

"What if she bites?"

"Huh?"

"Hurts a lot doesn't it?"

"Sure as hell does especially around you."

"Then you better run."

"Why is that?"

"I am not a fucking doll."

"Holy fuck!"

"Go."

"I just shit my pants!"

"....."

"I'm sorry."

"No apologies are accepted here or anywhere for that matter."

"I'm going to get her for that too!"

"....."

"I smell like shit!"

"....."

"My name is Marsha."

"....."

"What's your name again?"

"Grim Reaper."

"I heard that before."

"....."

"The moon looks different tonight; do you know why? You seems smart so's that's why I be asking...."

"It's Jesus."

"I'm a afraid of him!"

"....."

"I'm a shaking like Mcdonald's machine!"

"....."

Dollops of fried hydrogenated matter froth a trail leading to a notorious prostitution home; I gather myself to shut every door inside, all is empty, one room is bright.

"She lives here for now."

"?"

"Her name is Marsha; I can't kick her out, she's got no place to go."

I kiss my daughter thrice; remembrance is a goal.