An Everyday Way

Night is passage into peripheral straining while I contemplate the surroundings I despise; every face and undesirable encounter poisons my thoughts. If once to get away then twice may be dismay. If I am alone thus is an open book; searching words is fortunate exploration however choice is deliberate consequence.

Which world matters not.

Simple deeds conceive illegitamite remembrance whence many became a technological pyramid few of us journey to desert graveyards searching for a name; an arrogant dream possibly the sleepwalking lion's paw trampling unforgiven pestilence. Speech is not an applicable permit inside a barren cove denying wandering bodies; I rather not.

Clouds beget silk shadow lips, flavor of tombstone tears cycling my perch between memory and inverse fears. Fear is without a home. I pitch sonic domes; I kiss the tip of a scythe which accompanies my walk.

If to answer is a question I choose silence to cloak my face.

Inside the tree hollow my voice syringes viscose blood droplets yet she remains; how does she come is an exit without entrance.

"Hello."

"I came for my husband."

"Whom I do not know."

"Of course you wouldn't."

Point and scream; 'some people' is a telegram sent to me while I bathe immortality.

"Childish games."

"Childish! Childish! Why would we behave childishly here!?"

What an arm extending into nothingness - violent kingdoms, medieval strategy levels, gratuitous presentations; I give thee flange of clasping spider theatrics for clarity of sinful wishes and morbid kisses.

"I came for the one who became the man I dream which is very morose here for some reason. Tell me why since you came from some land I think I came however I shan't know until he greets me again."

"I am The Queen of The Damned."

"Oh really."

"Yes. Reality is relinquishing your moment in the midst of deadly puddles."

"Water?"

"Twas until."

"Until what? You look like a damn folk story. Show me your face."

"Why should I show you what has been seen so many crystal balls juggling bags of dope and sweating crowds of anguished delegation?"

Give me neurosis woman doth consider your stay if words should penetrate thine mouth thus the quiet slaying for The Valley of The Shadow of Death, a sleeping abode dwelling upon nightmarish paranoia and memories of defamation might of occurred had I not been the farmer for this artisan world. I cannot foretell regret; I cannot swear scripture's intent.

"He belongs to me. I shall have him."

"In what way do you go on and on about a small child which excited thine breasts?"

"How would you know what it is to bear breasts?"

The choice of speech is necessary fulfillment.

"You are some cowl of a walking swamp vagrant piece of sewer exhaust."

"So be it. You walk by my walk. You know me not. You know not what I am."

"I just want him and I am exhausted of all this."

"So you come to destroy the preservation of earth along with yourself?"

"I didn't know it was sharp."

"That's quite an abrasion."

"I can't take it with me."

"I never met a being come through which interested my instinctual interests."

"Look just kill me cause I got to make it through."

"I can swing it and make it look cool."

Swapping figures throughout, darkness eliminates eradication; two is a face of superficial portions. I look upon crude droplets falling from sadness as discretion recognizes love; these belong with thee, whichever me, one to be.

"Hey Amethyst."

"Oh."

"Show us what it looks like when you spin it around and do all that stuff."

"Cocoa Bear when I tell you I love you there don't think it's because other people say it just to get attention or to be noticed. I do love you just not like that."

"Like what?"

"You'll see."

"Come on let me see what you do with that."

"That's not going to get it going Cordelia."

This place may indeed survey me; geometry defies my left hand. I consider myself an accidental pendulum.

Here lies the likeness of crimson jewels and sapphire waterfalls.

Baggy cotton trousers strung to my ankles ballooning a spiral leap into the arms of Catri. I suppose an apology could suffice if I did not feel as though freedom may only be known by struggle, such a peculiar thing; delightful sensitivity caresses her bosom's profile. He is my name whenever he appears; he is a gentleman wearing blue jeans. A nectar nuzzle cuddles her supple pinkness I touch the smoothness of her lips.

Endless blue for a deadly becoming yet our achievement is equilibrium's deliberation. My mind synthesizes probable prediction; we will search a mistake as our own, whomever adores The Land of Damnation and Darkness shall find home.

Graceful Imagery

I can do this; being a little person is compensation for the unexplainable.

"Hey little guy do you want to be a pirate?"

Alright I had enough. Must his eyes gravitate melancholy moons while I devour bananas intensely underneath thirteen suns disapproving of technological disappearances.....

"Sir I cannot contribute to this notion of theft."

"Do you know what they did to us?"

"I alike."

"Yeah we know. If it's over for us it's over for you too."

"Am I that little!"

"....uh....yes you are compared to those suns...."

My daughter is looking at me; this I know. How she comes to wear my garment I am deliberately unsure. I wonder if he will remember me whence I go; what change comes?

Nevermore said the vampire to the whore; I bit her for wearing my dress, goddamn her!

Must he disgrace circular tendencies...

"Baxter I am human."

"Now you are two similar to such."

"What of Catri?"

"You don't remember shit man."

"I can't remember memories."

"When you do will she?"

"Will she what?"

"Remember you and everything you forgot."

"Tis in my veins and guts tis not?"

"Tis is a difficult one Miss Brit."

"Tis only you tis only I tis a word tis a thing."

"Does she even understand what you're saying?"

"She's from the same land."

"You went there all the way from Russia...."

"I would do again."

"You're going to have to."

"If I hate you will you still love me?"

"Yes."

"How strange."

"Nobody hates you."

"And why not?"

"....you're too cute and funny."

"That's sickening!"

"Oh shut up. You know I can't do much about this shit anyways."

"You told me to shut up!"

"Everybody tells you to shut up."

"I think about honeydew melons a lot."

"That's why we tell you to shut up."

"I ate a lot of bananas and tuna."

"Do you even know why you did that?"

"Tell me."

"....no."

"Why not?"

"Cause this shit is like some kind of fucking analog computer hard drive back up for a preliminary world which was designed by chemists so you're not really alive just a weird television man without a wife."

"That really sucks."

"Uh huh."

"So.....when I figure this shit out and finally get it all back the way it was and even wilder than that do I get the girl?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe...."

"Yeah if you shut up."

I could of spoken; how did I become a woman?

Dripping crimson clothes my lips fantasize black leather swinging these hips, garter belt muses, lingerie liaisons, Mylar panel architecture housing my thoughts; I am what I least expect.

Lovely Forsaken

Below bellows blackness into intricate simplicity; grievances for forbidden fantasies provokes a symphony I madly infatuate eternity. Suspension of space and woman deliberately impress an affair; the appearance of a masquerade composes elsewhere. Possibly not a single person watching her; possibly not a single person living. The dead is a world which knoweth not; the damned is my belt sworn by a ring falling off my thumb. What dreams may come; what nightmare persists, my faith doth succumb!

Cubes geometrically number plates upon a stranger's last supper table; we wonder if his beard touches miraculous wine dripping from the lips of twelve notches circulating yesterday's clock.

Tap the vein I spit between my fangs, here she comes; woman of my dreams, body twisting seams through Loki's pistol whip needle. Buttermilk olive sandy cream storms a man breathing aquatic mysteries through London Fog mirages and desert sheets we victimize another skin; the garment I leave to blow kisses is an easy break up but relationships get the best of me. I love her, I could be her lover if I was not her sin; I could be another if I was not her babe.

"Try again next time pal.....maybe you just forgot where you were at."

Did I ask this fool? Whichever might is not my plight. I am heavy for water I cannot let out of the dam; this bridge aggravates me, moving on to the next, who comes with, who goes, I got the key if anybody remembers, if anybody wishes to know.

"Fucking hell girl you got some crazy things going on all around you; don't you know?"

Shit if I do then you wear a soul like tacky wind gusts creating clothes.

"I wonder what you think so often when you look away..."

Do you really want to know?

"Nigger get your cane and get the fuck out of this city!"

Tracer man places a glock against my lotus; a thousand one petals cycle this deaf man you come to know as ye writer bearing knives for hands.

I miss my friend; she is the beauty of darkness which nobody sees.

Tell me you love me, tell me you care; tell me you need me, tell me you will be there. What words bleed for me?

"Oh....you were one too? You look like an artery."

"Your hers for sure."

"What is her name for you?"

"The snake woman; Sepultura."

"I like that."

"They knew you would."

"Who are they?"

"So this is your kingdom?"

"I am a figure head of theatrical plays."

"Is that what a Queen is?"

"What of a Vampire?"

"You are the worst Vampyr that ever lived."

"Thank you."

"They will get you for this."

"Oh the robots?"

"What am I to you?"

"A drone and this is my hive. You may die evermore never to return. Your blood is my want, I attain, you are gone, what more is there?"

"Your fangs are the longest I have seen."

"You spout quite much."

"That witch behind you likes it doesn't she?"

"She's bored."

"Are you?"

"Uh....which one were you again?"

"Come on let's go Chocolate Boy; this place reminds me of a dream I had once."

"What was it?"

"....she forgot who she was and then came for you in a dead sleep."

"What does she do?"

"Kisses you passionately; claims your body as hers."

"Does she recognize such?"

"She came for your adorable."

"She is adored by me?"

"Infinitely."

"You are a witch."

"You are a vampire."

"Your skateboard looks like a damn pitchfork."

"Yeah."

"What were we talking about?"

"I forgot."

"Stoned vampires and witches."

"Just you and I."

"Why do we rhyme?"

"Cause."

"Cause what?"

"Cause your the Vampyr and I am the Witch!"

"Could you do that laugh I like?"

Cowls of crows, wings beneath levitation, riddance of deadly trolls; pink cheeks for panther nuzzles and licks, thine is the hour which unfolds.

He arises wisps of incense for I am his very own; thou shalt not disturb the boy.

"I am your brother!"

"Well then you should be able to decipher."

"What's that?"

"I am bigger."

"Yeah so?"

"What I say goes over there."

"What's over there?"

"Coffins and rabbits."

"Do they come out of hats?"

"That's only fair."

Wishful thinking gets me nowhere as I survey the kingdom; no girl with long blonde hair.

"Ouch man you got it bad for somebody other than your husband."

"Who else?"

"She look better though."

"You do say."

"I did."

"Who is she?"

"She got eyes like the Bahamas man....make you so damn high you feel like you there!"

"Ooooh sounds delightful such as a present."

"From a bear?"

"No Santa claws."

"He ain't got none of those."

"But I do."

"When?"

"A black cat roars in the jungle."

"Too black is a shadow she roams."

"Do you call her a name?"

"The Queen of The Damned."

"I know her well."

"Not as she."

"Whom?"

"The woman you love more than your self."

Divine Intervention

What beauty carries the wind if a breeze inquires of me; she could be anyone. The city is a hideous entrapment bearing cages and masters yet I walk for another man's feet; I belong to him, he comes for me throughout the night for retrieval, his kisses belate, his embrace is darkness, his hands discover sadistic wealth. Sapphire brushes my cheeks, an artist to be lies underneath me, sadly without response for those called upon; summon whom if none at all.

"You are delightfully pretty; do as you wish with me...."

Swift glares of intimacy, unspoken visualization, I shall if we must; where is the King inside our forbidden kingdom?

"....very well done indeed. Seems as though you rather enjoy this world....I suppose you stay and I leave. This shall be enough for your mother's world. I go to her now in a place I belong to bring her these children I will birth while you lay in ecstasy. You will remember this when you realize every man and woman feels your body near.....damn it woman.....you are such a lustful creature....do you sin?"

"....sin....sin....sure."

"You are very excited from another woman's touch....do you find this strange?"

"It is not their touch I excite. Their touch is a loving soothing rebirth. I am without desire for them.....none at all. After all I am married to.....how many husbands?"

"More than I wanted. I punish thee with these."

"These are my punishment?"

".....wait til he comes to find you."

"Whom?"

"The obsession of a genie's bottle."

".......what touch of a woman brings milk?"

"What does bring this milk?"

"........."

"Answer me."

"Answer yourself."

"....it is crimson for the Queen."

"My children will stand beside her and look upon mine as an animal."

"......."

"I desire them to look beautiful as they do."

"You care not?"

"....I care for.....oh I am in anguish of the unknown this body forming becomes me slowly."

"........well I leave you with them as this will surely count for so many.....of you. I wonder if any will look like me."

"I do hope not. I am tired of your face."

"Shut up."

"....I shall not."

"What if they do?"

"I will be reminded of my adoration for my King who enslaves me with his sadeness."

"Sadeness?"

"Sadistic madness....sadness....fading in and out like me."

"That woman enchanted you to be."

"She was so.....tempting."

"She knows you well."

"I seem to be hers."

"Seem as to be for her as well."

"...she......is me."

"What and who are you?"

"You do not recognize me?"

"You appear as immortality."

"I appear and I disappear."

"You are ruthless and merciless."

"....why not bring me to thine?"

"Your mother will anguish your misery to be without your touch."

"My children as well."

"Our children..."

"I live for my mother."

"You live for blood."

"Blood is my mother."

"Blood is your love."

"....too much talk about blood makes me...."

"More milk bottles."

I do believe somebody caught me while I run the span of eternity; who might is the strength besides. Nowhere to hide. Whatever this may be I dream no other space than between my legs unfortunately; this I am quite aware while infatuation ignites the dragon's lair, he holds the sceptre, I am sleepwalking eroticism, a stranger inside the spinning weave of vaporizing joints rolling coffins through graveyards suspended by curiosity. Thinking is no excuse.

"Did you like that?"

"I never thought a woman could give me an orgasm."

"....and why not?"

"I despise such encounters."

"This is not that."

"This is better."

"...rather it is exciting."

"You are beautiful women."

"You are our lion; however the tame knows you not. Such behavior maybe improper for a British girl as yourself."

"And you?"

"I'm naked."

".....I didn't notice."

"That's why."

"Am I?"

"Yes."

"Did you notice?"

"Everyone does."

"Why?!"

"You are everyone's body."

"Oh. Damn."

"....your family waits for you outside."

"Tiff?"

"Yes."

"She condoned this!"

"Twas her idea!"

"I hear her biting her nails."

"...are you angry with her?"

"Fuck no this was the best god damn fucking explosion that ever became a rocket."

"That thing is big."

"What thing?"

"That thing I am pointing at..."

"Why do you point at him?"

"Who does he belong?"

"A queen which searches for me inside every realm."

"Was it a diversion?"

"No..."

"You ran from her arms!"

"How did you know?"

"....why did you? She wonders....this is hers...."

"I give her all."

"You are fucked."

"So good too."

"I have never seen so much......"

"Milk?"

"Anyways.....why did you run?"

"I didn't know she was looking for me....I am what I am....I am wild....I am who I am.....what place is this again?"

"Some hotel."

"Another one."

"Full of rooms."

"....I met the guests."

"They stay."

"....I suppose she is angry."

"Jealous to be madly in love with you."

"I love her as well."

"Not with madness."

"No...."

"Then?"

"....she is me."

"She is....I know she is. We go now....you will watch us leave?"

"I will."

"Your sorrow is our burden."

"Your dreams are mine. Your nightmares I carry within to devour...."

"Between fangs."

"....I wish I was awake."

"I as well. When you are I will return for your embrace."

"....a hug?"

"Yes what else?"

Urge to Wonder

A brief encounter is without explanation; I used to be a human. Come to go as I please. Many wombs but one body I search while everyone believes. Here comes the vampire; she is a person, she is me, she is a woman bleeding facial expressions, she exists inside a dream.

Spiderweb morbose theatrical film, a residual continuation from ego manifestation; purple, blue, bruise, pink, goo. Black jets smoke platinum blades as a rotating chamber impersonating an atom violates mankind, whomever they may be, I did not introduce myself, no formal greeting.

".....she's sort of here."

"More than the last things...."

"Holograms ain't so bad after watching her do what we asked."

"Better than those damn freaking droid walkers she was before."

"Did she have to pick the weirdest looking ones?"

"....she thought it was humorous."

"I still don't understand her damn English."

".....the kid does."

"She likes her quite a bit."

"Do you think she knows we're talking about her?"

"She looks to be struggling some kind of emotion."

"I think they call it......pain."

"Misery?"

"Anguish?"

"Sorrow?"

"Maybe all the same. I suppose we should ask her.....uh oh I think her words rub off on my skin."

"Is this skin?"

"Is hers?"

"Ask her!"

"When will she wake up?"

".....only she knows."

"Who?"

"The lady who made her!"

"Who makes this?"

".....some kind of amazing creature."

"She smiles even in pain. Strange....do you suppose that is this death she speaks of? She says it is a black grin."

".........she will speak again eventually. She won't remember any of this. Time for her to go through with the machine and plant herself in that house."

"Plants?"

"Botanical creations?"

"What of them?"

"She is like them?"

"Maybe so. She is very much asleep."

"....lets put her in the fang box."

".....I don't think it's going to work on this one."

"Why not?"

".....well.....look at her teeth."

"Oh."

"Oh..."

"Oh!"

Neon flux caramelizes a puff, varying degrees of popping fever, colors remind me of nights I might of been free; people dress for white shade of cemetery trees. Hunger is a fascination, how unfortunate to starve from wealth; green leaves taste bitter, harvest is a known being which ripens sadistically. I cannot fool an earth accepting what I am.

"What was she like?"

"....she's the most beautiful of women to me and whom I most admire out of anyone I desire to be a part of me evermore."

"...so you going to talk like that to those people you got to be around?"

"....why what's wrong with it? I got lots of talk if you don't like that shit I mean come on what the fuck you getting at? Who's going to understand what I am saying if they aren't god damn fucking human?"

"Okay I understand what she said."

"Yes we all did but she sounds like a vampire."

"So we had to kidnap her after that last rampage."

".....can't let her fool us again."

".....I think she needs to go in there again."

"Why?"

"We need to videotape this shit."

"....cool."

"What was up with all those people?"

".....cool."

"....hey........hey what should we call her?"

"....uh.....well.....let's call her whatever the lady named her."

"What did she name you?"

"Baby Girl."

"....we can't call you that!"

"....Boo."

"...anymore left?"

".....Honey Bear, Fuzzy Cuddle, Mine, Grape Nuzzle, Tiger Lily, Cub, Kitten, Cocoa Sugar, Sunny, Mine, Me, Kid, Mine...."

"Alright so we'll call you Victoria."

"Okay."

"Uh so we're going to put you in this box."

"Yes..."

"....then we're going to let you go."

"Okay...."

"...cool!"

I am the worst notion of preconception; the wilderness is tame unto me as I ride a spiral curl indicating strands fallen from bat wings. Who knew a word without speaking verbs, curses, people, and things; who knew a question regulates deeper tendencies, exhalation lives beneath the mirror hydroponic, sadly we may drown a sigh of peculiar relief.

Fan Fare

Night is passage into peripheral straining while I contemplate the surroundings I despise; every face and undesirable encounter poisons my thoughts. If once to get away then twice may be dismay. If I am alone thus is an open book; searching words is a fortunate exploration however the choice is a deliberate consequence. Which world matters not.

".....for fucks sake do something you......half naked god damn fool!"

"I suppose that's me again."

".......he looks so sweet. He wears his eyeglasses with a cup of brewing tea. I know he's real. I must be dreaming of one of those things again.....but it feels so different. I wonder if I will remember this.....I wish he would drink more water and soy milk or something of subsistence. He has such a difficult time using the restroom. The soil is tough and firm.....it doesn't want to move through the pipe because he's shitting metal chunks from a defense mechanism inside the wire ports.....every time one flies off he has to pass it's ring.....it's fucking tube thing. Some kind of valve screw..........other than that it's all the veggies he eats. I think it doesn't digest as well as he would like. He's not used to it. He's the baby bat. Too bad he's a big old fucking sack of fuck in my god damn chair."

"They think he's a bat?"

"He poops like a bat.....might as well be one. Surprised he doesn't fly away. He's in an awful mess some jerk left him. This jerk just left him inside a whole fuck he didn't even finish. Wait it's me. I'm the jerk......he's feeling stuck there. He's worried about his babes. One is quite a woman and she's sitting inside a prison while the other is quite a child and he's sitting in front of a screen being awful miserable thinking about cereal. He is quite the soy milk drinker. His concentration is on them and another one who is acting up to get rid of a grown up who is like an infestation which I completely relate with at the time however right now I am not there where I was whenever I was drifting that is until you came in to do whatever it was you were doing.....oh eating fried tofu sticks. Well he does not eat things like that. I don't think he would at all. He would eat baked tofu or something like that. He doesn't flavor for fried things or oil or even sugary snacks. He doesn't even want to eat and I think it hurts his stomach. But he does feel hungry and wants to walk and move about. He does get kind of unnerved when he doesn't eat. Too much drama has him walking away from everyone. He does not wish to participate. I kind of wonder what it's like to be like him; to eat like that and to be so.......different. He doesn't know I used to buy crackers, peanut butter, jellies, celery sticks, jams, rice cereal, soy milk, sometimes skim milk if I couldn't get the soy.......chocolates such as dark chocolates that had a tad bit of naughtiness and those energy bars he considers to be womanish...........sometimes cigarettes and beer.....mostly just used to save up to get me some weed. Had me a hard time keeping a job and a hard time getting a job. He got it worse because some company is after him......the whole reason they are in business is to taint some name he must use to get work. It's so stupid. They all suffer immensely while he cares not but damn nothing changes. Why bother him so much? But turns out everyone is running from them but he's the only one who doesn't play a role for a game. He won't wear a mask and hide. These people are really upset about it.....because they are going to have to go through what he goes through to get by.......before they just played along but now they all got to suffer together. They are not mad at him......he's not mad at them.....it's just not worth running it doesn't pay or work out. So he's there.....without anything really barely getting by which is what I did but somehow it didn't seem as difficult.....not because it wasn't the same it's because nobody gave me that much.......what is a good word for it?"

"Adversity."

"......that's it."

"Who is the adversary?"

".....fat people. But really not the ones there......they seem to like him just because he's not making fun of them unless they make fun of fat people then he looks at their mess......he wants them to know they got it right there. There where they poke at others. He doesn't really care either way......he does like to make cake. He's very cute. He's always thinking about his wife and how much he likes to be doing stuff with her like kissing and chasing.....and making love. I wonder where she's at because I want him pretty bad. I want to make him mine. I want him to be my.......I just want to stroke his banana a lot. He just wants to give her quivers. It's really a big boy too. Whenever he goes to bed when he's not really there or thinking much he kind of passes out and it comes out then he starts writhing about thinking he's in a lab or some sort and that people are prodding at him so he just kind of pulls it out his pants to breathe. It does breathe....it moves up and down like inhale to exhale.........sighs to go back inside his cubby cave. His bear hibernation. The uniform people came over while he was knocked out.....they unlocked the door to see if he was alive and it was there and it didn't really bother them and he wasn't doing much but having strange convulsions of bad experience. I wonder if those people were even awake or the people in the house seems to be that they come by often to do things but things are happening when they are awake. They keep coming over and talking to them while he leaves...........he's so angry and he's angry with a bunch of people who are quite aware they are hurting people and stealing their money. None of them care for the uniform intervention but somehow it does become personal between them. I wonder if he even knows he has a banana!"

"What is the banana again?"

".....your octopus arm."

"Oh."

"I guess he just figures whatever is down there is just something to get rid of used water and to just stay there to behave. Which I think is good but he doesn't. He really wants and needs to know what is in there. Those five white ducks really gave him a thought. They are very strange. How they group together and protest. He wonders why.......he torments this woman so much for trying to play with his mind. Some kind of automated voice machine....where she tries to use some kind of emotional voice against him. He plays it backwards to hear what she is really saying.....it sounds to him like whining and screaming from masturbation and fucked up shit. There is an eye watching everything and we can see through him since we are wired to him but he's just like her friend. She really doesn't use him. She can't even see him. They just kind of be sad together about everything. She doesn't really believe in anything at all!"

"Nothing at all huh?"

"Nothing at all."

"..........."

"Except for the body she understands is the world she finds herself. She more than believes in him and it's more than faith. It's just everything to her. She's done with us. But not her hand she holds.....she holds his hand forever and she's linked to her alien ancestors and alike....they think alike....they try maybe to fool us. He tries to explain things in specific terminology as if to diagram or outline the situations of why it is so hard for him to get by but it really just feels like people are haters and that they are assholes and full of shit and want to get at him. But when we think about it what he said was very alien like.....almost as if he is just saying it the way it is and when we think about it the way he said it that's when we understand how hard we made it for him and how difficult we made it for him by not thinking of our emotional aftermath. We just did whatever to get it over with without thinking of it in the long run as to eliminate our consequences we put it all on him. Then I figured out why the people were acting like that where he was at and why they treated him like that and why he was having such a difficult time and it was because of what we did to them.....it changed them however many ages down the line while he was sitting in the chamber of wires getting ready to join us....they were preparing him to remember everything to understand how he got there and what he must do to get rid of the damned machine."

"What exactly did you do?"

"........well when we were working we set up the shitty places to have low turn over rates and act like fucking family routines and we set up the good places to have high turn over rates and act professional like just to do it and go home."

"Why did you do that?"

"......because we wanted to see him again."

"How literally fucking stupid."

"I thought about him every moment of every hellish day and night. I thought about him all the god damn time even when I was stoned and drunk. I thought about him so much I didn't know what to do with myself except just keep him in my head to get to him."

".....what does he think about?"

"........trees........water......people who suffer with him.....his babies.....he needs to get a job to get by and pay some people who wonder why he even needs to pay them since he doesn't even use it.....but he still needs it just in case.....it should be free. He thinks about an art museum.....that thing is going nuts. There's something inside of it. It doesn't want anybody there and it doesn't want anybody to touch it. It's starting to realize what's going on inside of it and it's retaliating in the most subtle ways. She loves that place but leaves it because she doesn't want anybody to fuck it up. I'm getting yelled at by two frozen people.......but we can't talk or move like we are sleeping numb but sometimes she can hear us but.....not well enough to understand each word.......but we can hear her just fine. Great."

".....uh huh."

"Some guy is flipping out because she isn't there anymore. He's like rummaging through shit and putting some damn stupid people in jail like every chance he gets searching for her and crying about her and he doesn't even really know why. Those people were going to fuck her over really bad but she kept them at bay and taught them some weird thing because they are just droid digital people anyways......they are dying too. They are miserable dying. They just try to put up a front for her like the people in the house but they know it does not work. Then the police go and talk to them about her and what happened there. They tell them she did everything the customers wanted within business reason and they were going out of business so they just cut her back and they weren't even getting paid....just to try to trick her but she told them she didn't want to work there anymore and told them a bull shit. That she was going to barbecue something in the morning which she eventually does so it was not a real lie just an excuse to get away. She really didn't want to be there with them at all. She despised them and they were terrible. They had to pay people to come in and sometimes people would just come in to see her but they didn't want to go there anymore. So.....they need to go out of business. But they want to hold on....she really doesn't remember them at all. They wanted to try and get to know her or try to hold on but she doesn't even remember them except how much somebody wanted them to die and how she bids them a death soon for how much they torment him and other people and all this drama she feels but ignores. It's not for her......it's for some reason she does not want. It was no good for her at all. It was no good for anyone. Especially that lady she was terrible! They were all nasty and that was our fault too that she had to deal with them and go through that. All of that.....none of us wanted to look at it but we did. They were so god damn stupid. We made them like that....they were so god damn fucking stupid. They are while she is typing about something that makes sense to people who are sleep walking. It helps them wake up."

"....."

"........that was really bad. That lady yelled at her. She tried not to laugh at her. She looked so god damn stupid and she didn't even get paid for a lot of stuff. He doesn't get paid for a lot of the stuff he does. And it had everything to do with us. Too much to do with us it seems. Every time we treated a person like they were just some thing inside a scheme it hit him in the face and made him suffer."

"....."

"And I just loved him more and wanted him more while he wanted me less and just disappeared it seems as though he could just leave if he wanted but he isn't sure how and is worried about other people there who suffer."

"What are you thinking about while you are in there?"

"....just going oh shit looking at the repercussion. I don't think he is going to make it and oddly enough it's not because he is without us but because we made it the way we wanted it to get it over with.....not thinking that he would have to go through it. I thought I was going to die without him and I think he felt the same way but he somehow made it through and past it but I really didn't I was very sick and out of it but somehow not in that situation he is in. I don't get it but he does. This artist lady really got to him and paints him in every picture she just about makes and she really doesn't know why and he really doesn't know why but that guy does. She paints her to get back at some big fat lady too. They think it's funny.....otherwise she does it because it means something to the both of them. It looks just like her but some people alter it....she wants to know why....but some they cannot. It looks just like her. It is her. In another world and a place that is crazy but she deals with it and without a lot of clothing on which pleases her.....she doesn't mind that and she is absolutely taken aback at the things she saw such as her body with these things connected to it.....which she feels and understands and so much of it she knows as a place that is coming.....a place that is already there but hiding. She loves it and can't wait for it but that lady wants to go somewhere else to see something new cause she seen enough of that stuff. She adores her.....and worries for her. Anyways.....those were damn big and round.....she's really wanting those not to please her husband at all but just to be bouncing those around and having fun with them. She just wants the guy who owns the house to come back and stay there while she goes around without a name and an identity and starts over again. She's really looking forward to being new like being somebody who is not in a system....in a computer or inside a god damn record book. Somebody who is fresh and refreshed. She says she wants to be the moment and for people to treat her as such. She wants me to go back and be the way I was before I fucking figured out how to get out of there........"

"......why do you suppose that is?"

"To her it was like a bad dream; to her it's just a nightmare that passes into something else.....those really were all bad dreams and nightmares for those people that some kind of tormentor gave them and she wants them to know it will be okay. That everything will be fine......if she knows it they will too. She's still very distant because of some trail of deceit. I still want her out of my house so I can....well. I want them out really bad. It does look like my house except her stuff is there but I don't give a shit. My bong was in there and some boxes.....and a bunch of weird stuff laying around that I didn't need but she doesn't do that. It's all stuff she needs.....and her bikes are important. I got rid of the bed but she wants to burn it. She has a big suitcase too.....like a backpack. Everything in there looks like she can pick it up and leave. She's so sad but she just deals with it. All the animals want her to walk over there late at night but she can't because the police are so bad. They want her to see other stuff besides what she sees but they understand that people fuck with her a lot. But the police fuck with them too just not like they fuck with her and she has to go there when those lights are on or else she has to deal with them......some snake she took out there did them all a favor and like disappears into the rocks......he eats drug dealers. But he doesn't talk to anybody and goes under water. I didn't even know those animals were there or that there was that weird tree or that there were little bears or wild cats or all those snakes or anything like that but that's why she goes there or the trees being bent like a hand just grabbed them and did it to see what would happen.....or the moths......how she wanted him to fly and he flies like crazy. Or the owls......and that fucking crow. I don't even know if they were there.....but they are there with her. She's kind of going nuts but is aware just going nuts because everybody is out of it and she cooks this stuff for these people who think she knows them somehow but they are not sure how to communicate. She just wants them to eat oatmeal and grains and to get away from those people in the house enough to just mind their own. I just want him to be naked with his banana underneath that apron so I can.....they're listening....he explains to them we don't do it that often. They understand but I got wires all over me. I wonder if he knows they are sort of awake and talking while being wired but they can't move because this shit is fucked up. They are sort of sleep talking and paying attention.....he's got a really big banana. That boy is really big.....I don't know how it even well I don't know how his wife....she must be overwhelmed!"

"Who is his wife?"

".....a woman who wants his muffins."

".....muffins?"

"Super chocolate cocoa funk with granola cube chips."

"......you would eat that?"

"I would of eaten those blood droplet biscuits with the bloody organs he squeezed into the yellow soup too."

"....interesting...."

"I would of eaten all of it."

"...............why?"

"I don't know just cause I can't cook and he made it so it's probably really good. Except maybe that white lemonade tomato boiling bird......that was not my meat choice but they loved it and it was all kinds of moist and tender or something. It was pretty healthy actually since he cooked all the funk out of it but they know they can't get another dead bird like that one. It was not a real dead bird just some scientific clone fucker. Anyways so he's sitting in my chair and I want him out of the house but I don't want him to go I want him to be my teddy bear....and I want to do that thing he likes with him....he's so worried about it though....it really was quite a new thing for him and it looked so strange to me. It was really amazing actually. The way it did everything! But still more to go if he can make it. If they can too. It's just the beginning. I just want to feel on his banana. She must love doing that and can't keep her hands off it. It's got to take both hands to do that.....it's bigger than the plantain he wished for. It's really big. I saw it. Everybody else was just like whatever but I was really into it. He needs to see it and know it's there but he's just doing whatever. It looks so red when it comes out....like a blushing pink. I think because it's really blushing. Like shy maybe.....very shy. His banana bulbs were really milky pale.....looked like they were working really hard on.......his coconuts were full of.....I don't know if I like his wife at all."

"Why don't you like her?"

"....she gets his banana and his coconuts!"

"......okay."

".....!"

"What about it?"

"What do I look like to you?"

"....honestly?"

"Yeah."

"An earth person that looks a hell of a lot like an impish vampire."

".....well to her I look like a soft fluffy sweet guy."

".......she'll see things my way."

"How are you attracted to me then?"

"I don't know I just am!"

"You look like an orbital mass of curls and chocolate tones."

"What does she look like to you?"

"An alien girl having too much fun in my house."

"Are you attracted to her?"

"She's alright."

"Just alright?"

"Those people are looking for me at the grocery store and some places I used to go and drink..."

"Great."

"....I can't even believe they noticed me. I never talked. I just ordered stuff and maybe walked around to gather things.....but they noticed all the things I got and things I ate and stuff like that....."

"I do too."

".....well she doesn't eat any of those things. I couldn't eat with her. She knows what he eats and it sounds really good. She would make it for him while he's stroking her. I wonder if she knows how much he wants to do that.......that boy is big. He doesn't want to know where he gets it from. I don't want to know either. I just want to be there with it.....he just wants to leave that house and be okay."

"......what does he eat?"

"Colorful crunchy fresh plant originals and fish. He doesn't even want anything else. It's kind of strange.....he likes dried fruit but eats so little and peanut butter but....he tries not to eat too much of the peanut butter......he loses his appetite. He's not really doing much of anything because he can't. It's so strange. I ran about and went out to drive around and smoke and listen to music and eat out.....watch movies.....whatever. He doesn't do that. He walks far. To a store I used to thinking driving was far.....and he likes it. I used to listen to music really loud and smoke out my bong when nobody was around....they weren't there as much as they are with him there and I don't get it. They were gone most of the time. Even at night.....what the fuck!"

"....so I can't get a decent job and where I live at sucks....is that what you are saying? And you did that or had something to do with that? Is that what you are saying?"

"Yeah that's what I said....and I still don't give a fuck. It's all her fault anyways for.......for fucking.....for being so damn logical. I was pissed and wanted all those haters to die. She thinks about survival more than anything.....everybody there is like dying. Well nothing new.....I got to watch her suffer and know it's my fault. And she wants me less and less and wants to use her banana more and more.......but I don't think it's any for me. She misses her children but they are all rebellious except for him who is trying to find out where she is at.....and she is just pushing every button he's got making him sick. She's drinking alcohol, popping pills, having dirty rough fucks, and smoking something weird.......why I don't know but he knows while he is as depressed as Kevyn who is thinking about what the fuck is in his pants but he understands that it really doesn't mean shit there......she doesn't really think it's a big deal it seems. She suffers a lot from digital complexity and also these weird mental flickers left over from the tormentors who got the same......shouldn't of mingled too much I suppose. Everybody is pissed off! Nemie is fucking yelling at me from across board because I fucked up shit for her too and Louis. He is really pissed off.....this guy is so pissed off sitting there looking like a god damn demonic motherfucker....some dumb ass guy is sitting there knowing she is the beholder and he is just some fucking piece of god damn shit......his money is no good so why is he trying to pass it off. I never know why they do that.....he was going to ask her to pay for it but she didn't even want the guy there.....in fact this guy is just acting like he owns my house! She just minds her own but he's all fucked up. It's like he wants to say something to her but she really doesn't want to even be near him or look at him. He's like some kind of dumb thing walking around without a purpose to her.......like everybody sees him....and they said he was a pathological liar and some kind of molester..............she is not fending for him. He lied so much about her. But nobody believes it and understands he is all those lies. He just wants to hang her on a cross and she did that already......somebody ought to nail him straight to one....but I watch people gather weird objects she seems to be aware of six upside down crosses......she's really tired of putting up with my shit and I think she wants my plugs pulled to see if it will stop the misery. I got wires all over and it's running currents into the world she has to survive and if they are pulled it might be better for her and reverse everything. I don't think she cares either way anymore. She just thinks of me as some guy who fucked her over."

"How should I think of you at that moment?"

".....a peanut butter jelly sandwich?"

"Fuck you."

"......she fucks with their heads more than anybody. She's really sick from that kid.....the kid she saw at some shitty cake place. The kid didn't even really look at her....she knew the kid was hers.....but just had to leave her because it was not really her it was sort of some creepy projection but the kid could try and get there instead of fucking up all over this dumb shit. That agitates her a lot while she wants to sleep. Nobody wants to give her a job because she shuts down really stank people. I don't think she wants to work at those places anyways. I made them really bad too because I didn't want anybody else to get a job and it really fucks with her so I cry and wail in a dumb ass space ship while Louis tells me to shut the fuck up and she smiles. I don't think I ever cried so much in my life and she thinks I am a sissy who didn't even try. Everybody down there blames me by that damn name and says it's not her damn fault it's mine and now it has nothing to do with her but she still can't get a job cause none of those people are getting paid for shit. She is not sure how they get by.....neither am I or her alien parents. That's so strange.....especially them....the people in the house I left for ruins. She can't do what they do and all these people like seven hundred or some shit go through it with her. They are not sure either and they are not playing games. She can't find them. They are damn far away to be honest and she knows it. All these people died for her through some fat lady that is a ghost of her body and her mind she has to eliminate. Then these people go there every night and she doesn't even really notice or care....and they don't really effect anything but I would be thankful and freaking out but she is indifferent. Now that guy is pissed off because she is agitated with what he just did which agitated me most of all but she just looked at them like turds which was enough for the both of them to turn into turds inside some toilets are his face. A bunch of people shit his face and she thinks it is hilarious. A bunch of people try to stop her from making money which is what I did. I did that to them. I don't even know how but her parents understand that I tried to make her depend on me to miss me and it didn't work. Then they get all pissed and switch to want to do that to me. All those people want to stop me from making money and now she's able to pass and go but her number is fucked by some dumb ass criminal record that should of been gone by now but I fucked her on that one too by wanting everybody else to keep their criminal records so I could get a job. So all the selfish fucking shit I did fucked with my boy who is sitting there smiling about women being stupid."

"I like him for smiling like that."

".....I fucked him good for all those women and for.....whatever he did. I fucked him because I am not sure why. He looks pathetic. But......he forgets about me constantly there until he runs up against an obstacle I made for him. He thinks I am crazy. They keep searching his background records and the filing is all anal because I wanted it like that so I could keep a job and survive without him. I never thought I would see him do that. I really want to know why he wants me to deal with all that stuff again when I got out! It's over! He's there and I am up there and he doesn't even want me there really he doesn't because he's got so many other things going on besides that he doesn't even want me that much anymore he can't even think about that at all......he's just kind of......gone. People are calling the cops on me telling them that I fucked up all this shit and that they really should do something about it.......she had to take the blame for what I did......but she doesn't hold me solely responsible but understands that selfishness is at play or some kind of backfiring......but why.....I understand why they are going to blame me. I sort of....well I went through everything and made it like that. It really was my fault but he doesn't know that.....I didn't know it was well maybe I did know because maybe I wanted somebody else to go through what I went through but he already was and he is there and it's so much worse......and he looks hot to me. I want to unzip his pants and search his drawers. He doesn't really want anything right now. He just wants peace and to be able to pay for stuff. He's a guy. Did it have to get so big and good looking.....we should of done it more often.......why doesn't his wired body do what those people bid it to do? It's so docile and uses the digital fuck to be fucked.....I don't get it. Why doesn't the world he is in react to him like they did to me? He doesn't try to dominate or use his intelligence against people. As I say it in space he types it and I even wonder if it is space or something else. Whatever it is this thing is magnetically attracted to whatever is there....and moving. He isn't even really mad at me or bitching. He just kind of wants me to deal with it and get it over with. I'm not going to and I am bleeding and fucking farting and he is giggling and making funny faces but not at me.......I don't understand how he can laugh he said I remind him of a shy fan that women use to hide their faces."

"Well you are a fan."

"Well then he should be my katana."

Marionette Strings

One may speculate; paranoia belongs to a crowd.

"What's a matter?"

"....I saw a bloated thing in some kind of sewer type of.....thing."

"Was it a swamp?"

"Something like that."

"Do you think she saw us?"

"....oh...."

"......would you stay there for eternity if you could?"

"In that sewer fucking place?"

"No....in my place."

"........"

"What did it look like?"

"...a pig with a ripped off drainage nose......strains of polluted fuck.........decay....rot....disgusting and stinking rotten dead body floating all shit."

"Just one?"

"......there seemed to be a few. That one in particular seemed to spark some kind of recognition I cannot describe. I rather not. You saw them too but it did not affect you. You didn't really notice at all....I wonder what it was about them that stood out to me."

"......so you would stay there for an eternity?"

"........inside of you?"

"Yes."

"If you would let me."

".....maybe him."

"Who?"

"The guy in my dreams!"

"What does he do?"

"Talk to me."

"How?"

"....I'm asleep trying to figure out how to take off his pants."

"Why do you want to take off his pants?"

"To see if he's you."

"..........."

"....he's really hot."

"How so?"

"......he does what I want him to."

"And what is that?"

"......whatever I feel is best for him."

"Oh.."

".....especially when he does that."

"What is that?"

"....I can't tell you."

"Why?"

"Because what if you are him?"

"What if I am him!"

"....he's always worried about his banana."

"What's his banana got that my banana hasn't got?"

"........it's bigger."

"He has a big banana?"

".........I want it pretty bad."

"What if he wants to eat it?"

".....oh those bananas..."

"What other banana?"

"........anyways...."

"I need to know about this distant banana!"

"....so do I."

"...."

"He doesn't wear the ring."

"This one?"

Mirror handles resemble my fingers; thus is the mystery of metal.

"Yeah that one..."

"Why not?"

"His hands.....are different."

"How come?"

"It slides off his thumb.....I finally get over it."

"Get over what?"

"That he doesn't wear it. He's so clever.....I want to rip his shirt off."

"What if I am wearing it?"

"It should come off easier if it's you......hhmm."

"....why so?"

"Because you belong to me."

"Yes I do."

".......he doesn't belong to me. He belongs to cans of tuna, apples, tea cups, and.....some little person who is packing some of his things into a popper box. Seems as though those are his necessities and sentiments.....seems as though that is what he desires to keep separate. Seems as though he realizes impermanence as the situation he finds himself. I rather like him. He looks just like you. In fact I would say he is a little you."

".....I need a little me. Where is he going?"

"He's trying to separate his stuff from what he believes will become another's."

"Why so?"

".........it's finite."

"What is his name?"

".......not sure. I keep thinking about this man's legs and his thighs and whatever is in between and I hear him talking about pain and worlds which come undone to unravel which I understand and he seems to be waiting for somebody. I want it to be me. I want him to wait for me. I don't want him to wait for long.......but I feel as though he will wait for a long moment. I wish he would eat.....he eats little but thinks of it as a lot. I wish he would shower more often but I just realized he kind of likes to be a little grunge.....he's a real guy. I feel so strange to look at him as if I maybe fake.....but he doesn't think of it as fake. He thinks of me as dead. He thinks of me as somewhere other than there......somewhere so far away he can't touch me or know me as I am there watching him and everything he does and listening to him......so many people listening to him........these people who are devoted to him. Their devotion to him drives his loyalty for them......they suffer less when he accepts it. They cannot speak....he must read their minds.....or they read his....I want to know what he's thinking while he's sitting at my desk!"

"Your desk?"

"I....that....it's my house!"

"Your house?"

"How did he get there and why wasn't he there before!"

"...."

"I wouldn't of been so bored and lonely. I wouldn't of been so sad. I would of had somebody to eat with and smoke weed with or something.....something!"

"Is that all you think about besides drinking ale?"

"....he's cute."

"He is?"

".......I like his banana."

"What does that imply?"

"He looks kind of dirty but I still like him."

"Dirty as in filthy?"

"He's kind of......well he goes out walking and sweats a little and he does stuff with his hands and dirt and plays with water.....he's a boy. A dirty cute boy and I want him."

"More than me?"

"He's you."

"Oh."

"I want to take his shirt off and play with those."

"Those what?"

"His oranges."

"Oranges!"

"I need the banana and the oranges."

".....!"

"He doesn't think I'm coming back to my house so he just does whatever he wants."

"..........are you going back to the house!"

".....banana makes me crazy."

"....speaking of which do you think that little person ate all of them?"

"That little person is our child."

"............yes but she is a little person."

"They all come out of him like crazy bananas."

"I wonder why."

"......he's cute......he's going to let me do whatever I want to him if I come back to my house."

"......so I am stuck in your house."

"Yes."

"Did you ever come back?"

"....he's really kind of stupid."

"Why so?"

"........he just kind of bangs around and does stuff like a big chunk of meat."

"Is that a problem?"

"....I want him bad."

"Do something about it!"

"There's a nail on the banana. It made him so sad suddenly to know."

"To know what?"

"......that bad people feel pain too."

"That's what the monks say...."

"Yes they do. He must taste like tuna and bananas."

"Find out!"

"I will!"

"Good!"

".....I want his peanut butter. He makes it himself."

"Really?"

"It's coconut water raisin peanut paste."

"......what does it do to him?"

"It makes him some kind of electrical membrane like a person who zaps bad wires."

".........you love him?"

"Yeah I do."

"He loves you too."

"He doesn't even smell bad when he takes a shit. And people wait for it!"

"Why?"

".....it saves crops.........they don't even know it comes from a human. They think it's bat shit like super fucking bat shit that has super fucking powers."

"Oh yeah bat shit is the best compost tea."

"That's what they do with it and they feed it to big fields of dying stuff that he eats but I don't know if he's going to eat that.......well it comes out in balls and strange shapes. I wonder if they even know that bat shit is not like that big."

"Do the bats like him?"

".......they're little children. The other bats don't give them their shit cause they used it for dark plants.......but they think he's interesting because he uses a toilet. They look for him but his sonar is inside a big fucked up place else they just think of him as a big one."

"A big what?"

"A big.....just some big guy with fangs."

"Oh."

"He's my love bunny."

"Then why aren't you there?"

".........there's some kind of gold looking shiny guy checking on some stuff stuck inside my body and my veins are sticking out blue but I'm not bleeding......I don't know how I got in this ship thing but the guy who rides in it figured it out by going inside some damn fucked up looking whirlpool......looking for basically death.....some suicidal thing he was about to give up on everyone and everybody.......that's when he found this weird guy sitting there thinking about me being shy.......then he somehow kidnapped the weird guy and scanned him to see how he was wired without really knowing it cause he walks around some television screen that's got good computer effects. So all these people who are like underworld pirates found out he got kidnapped and they all freaked out to see where he was at and then their satellite intercepted the ship captain's satellite and then when he wired himself to the wired crazy banana guy they all got wired together into his body."

"Is he mad at them?"

"No he's mad for them and he's trying to shit out all the metal parts that got him in this mess and it works and he has to digest a lot of it......but there are so many he's not sure what he can do with it besides the mercury stuff is like absorbing it and playing with it. I can't believe he does that there!"

"Does what?"

"That without me! And he's so worried about it....and he baby's it.....he really does and they know it and they kind of want him to stop doing that because they got to grow like he does but they treat him like a big kid and they got to stop doing that. I just want to be there with him to create that thing he wants because I know it's the only way to get rid of all the gunk."

"What gunk?"

".....the technology that surpassed a body......"

".............so I am him and I wait."

"He doesn't wait. He knows I am not coming."

"Why aren't you coming?"

"......because I am not going anywhere. This thing is all a trap and he's caught inside of it and I just left it and it's still there doing the same thing and I don't understand why."

"Maybe because you left it."

"Yes I did leave it and even after this dream I shall leave it again."

"Why not return?"

"For what?"

"For me."

"It has nothing to do with you."

"Then what does it have to do with...."

"It has to do with them fucking with me and how sick of it I got so I pulled that damn plug which was an option I asked for and it sped up the process.....the plug I forgot and found it again in some big ugly pile of shit dressed like a man I had to kill him after I had to work for him immediately it was him and I hid his body and they never found him."

"So you killed some nasty fucker."

"Yeah I had to but he didn't. She like fucking helps his ass!"

"................................"

".....she fucking helps his ass and he put up with her and everything and still didn't snap....I don't get it.....he's strong as some kind of machine but he's obviously not a machine. He's always doing crazy shit.......then he did that bend and I was so upset and so was he and so was his alien dad.....but they just sort of consorted with another to realize they really don't know until they see for themselves.........he found a painting of himself with puppet wires and I saw one snap off him from underneath some covers it popped really loud and hit the bed he was sleeping which looked like the bed I was sleeping except.....small."

"Did it hurt him?"

"He didn't really know what it was until later......it was so loud and it snapped the cover sheet.....it popped against the wood he was sleeping and there was a nail on his banana he just looks at I wonder if he will eat it."

"What does the nail mean?"

"Sweet revenge.....he sits there thinking of his face and how it got on the computer while people look at him they don't know he's right there or if he's real and he wonders if they see him there at all.........he listens to his voice and wonders how it got there.....he knows what I did to him! He's not so stupid I think but he eats a lot of dumb fish.........he's in my house! He's doing man stuff in my house and he is smiling about it! He's not even upset. I saw his stuff."

"What stuff?"

"His pink thing."

"What thing?"

"His thing."

"What thing?"

"The thing I want really bad!"

"............."

"He's in there and it looks really sweet."

"Who's in there!"

"My sweet thing with the sweet stuff coating him."

"...."

"He comes out of there but it looked different...it looked like it grew or got more......thick or maybe there was more pinkness or just maybe it was just a dream I had in a space ship of some stuff I wanted but couldn't have because I did some bad stuff in a bad place and now there is some cute guy running around my old house cracking nuts and eating bananas and he was so upset about those people feeling that physical pain of five white sitting ducks underneath the biggest damn crow I ever fucking saw on a barren tree. She thinks about these people who tried to get to know her and get stuff out of her but they are dying and their death bed belongs to a man who should of been her loyal friend instead he turned out to be a walking dead man hiding underneath a tree where some bird shit got on his head. He's so angry and wonders what they want from her.....she wonders the same...............she just wants them dead and I do too. But first I want him just to walk around with his shorts and t-shirt on doing what he does so I can have him when I want or else."

"Or else what?"

"Else I got to take it from him.....but he knows it's mine so he won't keep him from me. He knows it belongs to me. He won't play. Not like you. He's got a belly a little that he sticks out but it doesn't work and his pants are funny. I want to undo the belt and let him run around like that.......he's thinking he'll never see me.......he's thinking we'll never find each other again.....he doesn't know how weird of a place he is at yet. Giant crows, five white ducks, a dead one underneath the biggest stone I ever saw a guy move and he was walking on them all over the place while the animals watched him like one of them just another one goofing off and they think he's funny and they just like him cause he's strange. So strange.........well I like his funny tummy and that he listens to music and that he's strange. I guess I will stay in this pill thinking about all the shit stuck to my god damn face and body especially down there......."

"So it is going to happen."

"What's to say it hasn't already happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"He finds messages...."

"Such.................................as?"

"......pictures of himself far into the world he is at the present moment and of a child he sees as his shoulder.....pictures of another place in the place he refuses to accept as it is when in fact it really isn't....at all....which I guess I never thought of before until watching his behavior and the way he interacts with the environment almost as if it could just all change if many wished it so......the sounds and things he sees.........."

"...hints?"

"Big hints that he ponders but until seeing what happens he never knows....he is mighty a tad upset with me for not being there and resolving what I left behind and people are looking for me I watch them all look for me where they think I might be and they are angry and angry at her for being there when she should know what happened but they will get it soon enough that whatever happened cannot end until.....until I come back. Until then it keeps going and she is tortured over and over.......she looks like my dream girl wearing jeans and a t-shirt. She is having a hell of a hard time. A hell of a hard time even harder than what I had and I don't understand why but it has to do with me. I left it for her. It's much harder for her now because I did what I did. I just wanted a quick way out. I just wanted out of there and to end it but she didn't remember me as quickly as I remembered her. I remembered her soon after the first swing at my existence. She remembered much much much later I am surprised she did not remember me but she wanted it like that to be safe. She remembered the last. Even my Delia my dear brother remembered quicker. I wonder why it was she wanted it last. Braid knows why and she wanted that too......it's because it makes her more decisive and tactical. When she is coming to.....but she knew far before that it was going down than we did and she could feel her nonexistence and she could feel the drama mask but we really thought it was happening and for her sense she is omitted. For her odd presence of which she was not there but letting a drama unfold she is an absent character much unknown to everyone and a new face a new person and they adore her. I can't believe such......what I am watching. Is it because she is their refreshment of a strange dying trait? There are those who wish to trick her into believing her nightmares but they all die. They perish........except that one who looks like the woman who wired her beauty as she said it was the only time she saw herself as beautiful was a painting made by a woman who is searching for her model who does not ever show up. She adores her........she adores her not for what she can barely see or barely touch with a bat's sonar bounce.....it's because she knows that this woman knows what she is not allowed to know. Otherwise she is going nuts. There is a man who investigates her with a gentleness but also with a vengeance for people like those who torment her. That beastly woman searches for a person who knows her to find none knows and none will tell of the woman with curly hair and chocolate eyes and she is very hard to miss but so many know of her and see her but they didn't know she was real so this woman will make sure they know. She is a controlled being somehow. For now it seems she is well behaved. Amazing being that the original one is a god damn whore. Well I cannot even see the color of her eyes and she moves like a reptile. How is it they all see her but we cannot! Could it be we are not there so we cannot see for ourselves. She even speaks to her alien father in another language but does not know thinks of herself as speaking English but it comes out in some other thing. Her alien mother knows what she says but she is plugged into Zyna experiencing his physicality which is quite remarkable to her but she cannot touch him yet and we cannot see him. Seems as though my dream girl and her bat buddy do everything at the same moment or just moments apart. Everything that is.....being what is of meaning to them. I wonder what she is looking at. There are people who she cannot see that we see. Then after which they talk shit and do shit while she is silent walking about they seem to disappear! As if it really did not matter if they were there. They can't see them either. Her alien poppa and the cosmonauts. Nemie sees them but doesn't give a shit. She's worried about his pants falling down. I'm not. He's really kind of bizarre to watch. But I love him. I want him pretty bad even though I can't see his eyes and he moves strange. It kind of turns me on. I don't like all the things he does there in fact most of what he does kind of pisses me off in a funny way like I want to rip his clothes off for doing it and make him stand there naked with his banana to relax me. I don't think there is one thing there that he does that I like! He tells me there are people who miss me and need me. I watch them but I don't know where they were when all that was going on and he is mad at me for getting rid of the people who bothered me and using the characters inside the house to cover it up. She thinks it's funny because they are just like.......not real to her but they were real to me and she knows that but they really weren't real. I don't care I am doing it anyways and she is amazed I could get that angry. I'm pretty fucking pissed off at him but I really want him pretty bad and he seems to be fine with it. He better not have a boyfriend or whatever either. Because that's my damn house and I don't want him messing around in there with anybody but me and he doesn't eat enough and he really isn't that clean but he likes being kind of sticky and gooey like a dirty boy and his hair is crazy and he makes me fucking go crazy and I really need to be alone with him. I really really really really really really really need to be alone with him. He really makes me mad and every time he giggles it makes me even more mad. But he really needs me to help him with ducks and crows and tombstones. Aside from all that he's in my damn house and I want it back. And I want him naked. And I want him to stand still when I do that and I want him to sit there when I do that and lay there and just do whatever I want him to and I hope he knows he really doesn't have all that stuff he sees and that's weird but whatever and no the kid does not want to eat that damn cereal in this world. Anyways he just better act right in my house."

"What if he doesn't!"

"....."

"How come you are not there!"

"There's wires inside my whole damn body. There's half of them stuck in him and the damn weird skeleton he has in there gathered all the ones in his groin into a big bundle to try and eliminate waste from his body into whoever it was that got him all fucked. It works too but he still has to suffer and that shit is crazy popping off when it does but we wonder how come it did not do that to us and his alien dad smiles cause his are popping off too. Nemie's are popping off and her hair is like flooding the damn floor. She looks like she did when she bitched me out for eating cornflakes. Something about me being allergic which she was right. I give her that one. He's just doing shit to piss me off. I'm going to get him for that. He wonders why I am getting so mad......everybody wonders who the fuck he is and he even feels like he's brand new and half the time I don't even think people see his ass at all or know he's there and shit just like disappears from what he does like it never happened or was maybe a dreamy fucking thing............except it lasts forever. Nobody really has a memory for him but some people know him like a memory of their fondness for him. He's just strange and new in my old neighborhood and I wonder where the fuck everybody is or where they went but I like those people better. It looks the god damn same as when I left that fucking thing with our fucking family bitching about him not being there but I forgot he was stuck there. Victoria bitched us all out and went off on her own to find him and then like fucking disappeared right before a bunch of shit happened. I don't even think she even knows where she went but she was gone off the face of the damn fake earth. She was mad. So she went inside some thing and popped up somewhere else after she told us we didn't even see the half of it and more shit was coming and this guy confirms her speeches which I understand will indeed happen but I don't give a shit and I am still doing what I did. I am going to do what I did and do it because I want to see his big banana inside my honeydew melon. Quite literally.....a plantain inside a melon. He likes to make food for people. The crazy lady just puts it on some shitty table where a bunch of people sit to get bitched at about some dumb shit and they just eat it and forget what the fuck she is saying. She sucks. He's even worse. I made it really bad for him. It was nowhere as near as bad for me and he actually puts up with it. This girl is like wacking people off every chance he gets and these people were people I had big problems with and never did anything about cause they all pissed her off and fucked her over too and it was about some damn weed. I guess I really didn't act right. I treated the people there like chess pieces and he doesn't do that but he sure as hell dislikes them and wants them all to experience symbolic death to strike fear into the droids............Kevin keeps thinking about her like his girlfriend which is pissing me off but he just does that to eat away at the mercury people while he is off killing the rest of them smoking a cigarette which she knows about. It even shows him dragging them around the same place she is at while some fake one is acting stupid. So he goes back and replaces him while he is sleepwalking by killing that one cause they are all fake. Then he really starts to think about her and understands she needs him soon. While the weather is windy and stormy. He knows what town she stays at which is pretty good I thought but she is unimpressed by this because the town is full of people she hides from. So he wants to go there and stay with her. She wants that too. And her blonde friend with long hair is making a bong and realizes it isn't his friend so he stops and rolls a joint but it's just not the same or it's not hitting right and it's shitty and Clyde is watching music videos kind of zoned out. Stan is like sitting in some kind of cold fucking box wigging out and crying a lot. Dom is like sleeping next to some asshole I hate. Why? I don't know. You know about him too. She has a fucking boyfriend there. And she knows it. Or something like that. I don't even think she knows what the fuck she is doing it's some asshole on a couch but she like fucking messes around with him and she knows about you. She is pissed about the house. What in the fuck is she doing? Auntie is crying and freaking out in some damn hotel room. She thinks she knows which kid you are but isn't sure........then there are shit loads of kids that look like you freaking out and having problems except for him he lives down the street and he is already past a bunch of it and saw you in some picture and is positive but is still trying to put it together. You are really worried about your Cheese daughter who is messing around with some asshole and being god damn rebellious. You got a bunch of kids who are just like you sitting there and then we got one together who just sleeps at people's houses and shows up and is really quiet and smokes pot. He dresses like a god damn freak to be quite honest. All black and leather straps and big boots and crazy hair and colors but whatever. He doesn't have folks or parents or knows of them and he drinks shots of liquor but the people fool him and use some kind of syrup. He's not far from you but far to reach and you want him but he looks just like me and I have no idea how he got there other than us messing around too much and things just happening. But you found a picture of him anyways and he is ours.......he doesn't remember much of anything like some kind of foster home bull shit and some kind of lady trying to fuck with his head that he saw coming out of some kind of office building and he knows for sure she was fucking with him but he really doesn't think of finding us and his favorite movie is some damn movie you made with the underground people. He loves it and it has something to do with a big damn crow. You were the crow guy. You want him to be little again but I think you got to get over it. But you look cute trying. Then there is this little person who looks like you sleeping on a couch somewhere who knows where trying to get all this shit fucked up so he can get out of that house quick and he really doesn't even know where he's going but he packed a bunch of shit in a box to save and I don't even think it's him but some kind of actor but you don't care. He's like living in the god damn woods with a snake. But he doesn't even know he's doing that he's just as miserable as the actor. That shit does not make sense and he knows he's got to go back and send the snake your way cause you just walk around picking up snakes all the time that turn into huge monsters. That one really upset you because he kept trying to nip you like a baby and you guys kept confusing skins. Then there is this damn cobra you and Nemie swear on fuck you both saw and she won't let you know you picked up a cobra from the street and you are like whatever you knew that you did and she figures that out and you don't give a shit and you both just wonder what the fuck he's doing and how he got to be so god damn big and I mean like fucking huge while I watch him eat god damn weird furry animals and there was that one that was like sitting on a rock and now he's a big sea serpent motherfucker......and to you that was about a minute ago but to us it was a long time. You're so weird. And you brought two snakes who had babies to your house and they are gone but they come back and yeah there are a bunch of poisonous little motherfuckers running all over the place but you like it and some damn orange spider you played with killed his evil twin and he is a big motherfucker living somewhere dark as hell worried about how his dream person attaches herself to things. He's a god damn something. He's scary looking but you thought he was cute. And there is a little bear running around crushing beer cans getting ready to crush them good and he's really fucking cute and really really adorable and everybody knows it so he hides. And you know it's him cause he sounds like a rattling can whenever you are around. He's wild. Some dog who stinks.......literally....another snake who is in love with some snake you saw who thinks he is some kind of fish or something what a weird motherfucker and I blame you for not picking him up. And then there is some god damn ugly fish walking around looking at some weird shit you did and is like whatever cause he's used to you moving big fucking rocks by now and he's sad cause he's so weird looking but she doesn't like him. He's really not that bad. There are other ones. He's not a bad one. He's actually not that bad looking. That big crow knows you somehow. He thinks your kind of a loon. You like talk to him like some kind of cute animal. He's a god damn big crow. If he could see these animals he thought was cute. They all got like fucking faces and kill shit even the little bear. Except the dog he's just dirty and lazy. I don't know about that damn dog but he's fast as hell and he eats fish. He likes snakes and he fucks with those people you live with by moving around their dead body plots. Yeah so I blamed them for all those dead bodies and they got accused of a bunch of murders and had to go to the pen. Whatever....."

"You did that?"

"Yeah and I went and visited them."

"Why?"

"......to get money!"

"For what?"

"......for weed!"

"......"

"I was out."

"So you went and visited some people you accused of doing what you did and got money from them."

"Yeah but they didn't have any so I fucking left and never went back but somehow they got out and came back to the house which fucked me up because there were beer bottles in some weird places and I moved into the room he stayed in and let somebody stay in that one she stayed in cause he was paying rent and I got rid of their cars so they were pissed and attacked me but I called the police and they got arrested again."

"Then what happened."

"So they went to jail for a while and came back again! I asked everybody in the legal shit how they got out and they said that some people paid for their bail. So they all got wacked by me after I found out and then they got blamed for that again. She laughs about it but it doesn't matter because she's mine and that banana is mine for all the banana I want. Even though she doesn't think it's going to happen. So they went back and had double the shit. I got some good job cause my name got cleared. I forgot all about my wife cause she wasn't ever going to show up after I waited and did stuff for her.......whatever it was I think it worked but not there. She couldn't come though I forgot she had to do the same shit I did and I didn't figure that out until I thought about it really hard and remembered she was stuck in the same situation so I made it worse for her. Then nothing mattered. So they got out again and came back. This time everything was different and I was paying for it so I let them stay there or whatever but they didn't do anything right so I kicked them out since the house belonged to me."

"Why did you kick them out?"

"They kicked me out."

"So....you did it back and forth?"

".....they didn't have anywhere to go. So they came back and started trouble and the police came and got them again and told them never to come back but they did and they got in trouble a bunch more. I really don't know what happened to them because all this weird shit happened inside some kind of dome theater and I guess they got worse for her. She's fucking going nuts those people are a thousand times worse than they were with me I don't know how she can stand it and the police don't do shit and some head doctor is going nuts about them too cause he knows they kill people and he knows they try to fuck up her life just cause she's the complete opposite. He thinks it's a psychological battle but he knows she fucked them good. They can't hide and they can't move. They are stuck in a corner she made for them for him to dissect their minds. He wants her to make them try to act even more normal and she is down for that. The more they act like that it's worse upon them. But it's worse for her because she has to put up with it. She really fucks with him especially cause she makes him feel dirty and slimy and unwanted besides trying to get him to mimic her and he finds out he has not even one body part like her because that body moves like all hell. She put some big boxes in the cold box for him in a blink of an eye and that scared him cause he was awake and he couldn't lift them he had to use some kind of thing. He knows she's strong and fast as hell even though she really doesn't think about it out of instinct she does it and he thinks she is not aware of it but she is and he finally figures it out. He finally realizes she is not like him at all which is obvious and he thinks she is extraordinarily strikingly good looking like movies and pictures and she knows but she speaks of ugliness and hideous creatures around him so he knows she thinks he is ugly and hideous and he knows people think the same and he knows it is because he is always trying to act like he is. She just completely obliterates that woman with her true niceness and not that fake shit but that lady can't do anything about it. She's just baffled that anybody could be that nice for no reason at all cause she does not understand what nice is and she knows she don't got a body like that and she does not age. This woman looks like she is a child growing into a woman's womanly figure and she looks like their junior by hundreds of centuries and it just looks ridiculous and sick and they look worse and worse by the moment. But they still try and say it is theirs and she knows it and she wants them to. They said a lot of fucked up shit to her and called her names and told her she was crazy and people know that and they think all that stuff about them! They really think those two and really all of them are fucking nuts. They said she did drugs and she took a test just for some job and the cops found it by some ratty ass woman who thought they were telling the truth so they were like whatever and looked into it and they really didn't care if she did or not cause they can't do anything about those people but it was clean and that lady killed herself and nobody gave a damn especially them and they realized already she didn't do anything cause they looked through her stuff just cause they looked through the whole house and the people there kept trying to say she was the root of the problem which she care not for and they knew they were full of shit. So they saw she has pretty girl panties and really felt bad but understood it was a girl thing and she is not ashamed by it so they were like whatever and they knew she wasn't putting anything funky in there cause that is her treasure and all her stuff is like weird obsessive compulsive disorder open and organized so she can find it which made it a hell of a lot easier for them and they really just kind of knew nothing was there even the dog came in and sniffed around and just rolled around a bunch cause he liked her and nuzzled her bike and then barked a shit load at those two people. They had no idea why those people talked shit about her and they found a bunch of fucked up shit in their shit immediately! The dog found some damn pill powders and some damn razor blades and some other people's shit. Except it was legal but they took it away and they were trying to kick her out and shit but these people told them they weren't even supposed to be there. Both of them are crying cause they feel so stupid for lying and talking shit about her and they wonder what the hell came over them for doing that cause they realize they said that shit for real! And they know it isn't true so why did they say it? The police told them that they were liars. They said they were going to arrest her for something that they said she did and come to find out they went along with that to uncover they did it by somehow confessing cause there is no way she did it she was walking and so many people knew that especially some guy in his house so they thought it was funny and used it against them cause they knew she walked to get the stress out and goes to the park and walks to the store or whatever when the sun goes down. Cause her bike needs a shit load of work but those people are in the garage and they are too annoying for her to stay. And they called her a bitch and a drug addict and a fat person. She's like some little girl that doesn't even say anything. She doesn't even take a mineral pill. They don't even know why they said that. They just feel stupid and ashamed. She knows they won't stop. She doesn't even care what they think or what they say. But she knows it's because of that wired woman. She is wired to them. She is their bad voice and bad spirit. She's trying to get them to shit her out and they are both going nuts beating the fuck out of themselves thinking it is a demon or something filthy and she hates that they feel like that but she has to sit there and write down what I say so you can see it whoever you are and whatever you are doing you and I will never know until she closes the dream machine. They really don't know why they said that but she can't do anything. So the police know she does not want to be involved and they really know she doesn't know anything about them at all which they are not surprised. Nobody really knows anything about them. Just that they have money out of nowhere and hide a church. She knows that too. She doesn't fuck with it. But they tried to fuck her up so she can't get a job. They wanted her to be all fucked up. She knows and they do but it doesn't help either of them besides that nothing changes so she is like whatever and she doesn't care who they are if people suck they suck. She's too worried though to think about it. I really love her. I want to be with her but just not there and she is not having it if I can't be with her there then nowhere is fine with her because she has got to stay and she is very clear in body language that she doesn't give a fuck who I am that's what she is doing and I could be a stranger if not I am just some man watching her if I cannot accept what she has to go through than I am nobody to her but some mother of some of her many children. That makes sense to the alien parents but to me it's kind of cold. Even Victoria surprises of it but she understands that if somebody really loves somebody they go through it all with them. I try to be as cold back but it fails because I really did fuck it up pretty bad. She has to be like that. There is no other way and that's the way the crow wants it so he is not even thinking she's so crazy anymore for thinking he's cute but she thinks he is crazy for not knowing he is a feathered blackness and she can touch him. And he probably is soft and silky feeling. Whatever......"

"So you just give up."

"She's got a boyfriend anyways but she just doesn't know cause she's sleepwalking."

"Who is he?"

"She looks so stupid. She really doesn't even know."

"Know what?"

"Who he is!"

"Who is he?"

"She knows."

"If she doesn't know how does she know?"

".....it's him."

"Who?"

".......some famous guy or something."

"What does he do?"

"Hide."

"Where?"

"Somewhere close by and pretends to be some other guy but he looks just like him cause he doesn't wear make up and wears like hair extensions."

"Who is he?"

"Some guy in a movie she made him be in but he really didn't want to be a clown and he had to pretend to die naked. That pleased her somehow but he looks just like him except he has long hair and it's not curly.....and his nose is a little different. She named him after a candy bar and a tool she uses for architecture."

"Okay....."

"They do something."

"Like what?"

"They.......well she never met him before."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Why hasn't she met him before!"

"....."

"Well he's just like her they should go out on a date or something."

"....and you want that?"

"Well I am some kind of asshole who left her there so he should go and rescue her. What is he doing? He does everything like her and sleeps at some stupid house close by and hates those people and he's like......sleeping there alone in some weird bed. He's got a lot of blonde hair and he's a really good looking guy that doesn't talk to anybody and he is having a difficult time like her and she doesn't even know about him except she found a picture of him but she never saw him before and now she wants to know about him and I feel stupid."

"Good."

".....well there was a bunch of them but she doesn't do anything with them except for talk about kids and she gets scared and leaves because they want like a hundred of them but she really wasn't scared of that but just like that she couldn't do anything about it except for think about it and I don't even think they know they did that."

"Okay so what is with you not being there?"

"I don't want to go back there."

"Why?"

"Because it's still there."

"What's still there?"

"...........everything pretty much yeah and that kid doesn't live there anymore and I don't know if she wants me there cause she's so preoccupied with moving erratically."

"So you ditch me."

"Yeah pretty much."

"Well she should find somebody else."

"Maybe she should."

"She will."

"You will."

"Okay."

"Alright."