One may speculate; paranoia belongs to a crowd.
"What's a matter?"
"....I saw a bloated thing in some kind of sewer type of.....thing."
"Was it a swamp?"
"Something like that."
"Do you think she saw us?"
"....oh...."
"......would you stay there for eternity if you could?"
"In that sewer fucking place?"
"No....in my place."
"........"
"What did it look like?"
"...a pig with a ripped off drainage nose......strains of polluted fuck.........decay....rot....disgusting and stinking rotten dead body floating all shit."
"Just one?"
"......there seemed to be a few. That one in particular seemed to spark some kind of recognition I cannot describe. I rather not. You saw them too but it did not affect you. You didn't really notice at all....I wonder what it was about them that stood out to me."
"......so you would stay there for an eternity?"
"........inside of you?"
"Yes."
"If you would let me."
".....maybe him."
"Who?"
"The guy in my dreams!"
"What does he do?"
"Talk to me."
"How?"
"....I'm asleep trying to figure out how to take off his pants."
"Why do you want to take off his pants?"
"To see if he's you."
"..........."
"....he's really hot."
"How so?"
"......he does what I want him to."
"And what is that?"
"......whatever I feel is best for him."
"Oh.."
".....especially when he does that."
"What is that?"
"....I can't tell you."
"Why?"
"Because what if you are him?"
"What if I am him!"
"....he's always worried about his banana."
"....he's always worried about his banana."
"What's his banana got that my banana hasn't got?"
"........it's bigger."
"He has a big banana?"
".........I want it pretty bad."
"What if he wants to eat it?"
".....oh those bananas..."
"What other banana?"
"........anyways...."
"I need to know about this distant banana!"
"....so do I."
"...."
"He doesn't wear the ring."
"This one?"
Mirror handles resemble my fingers; thus is the mystery of metal.
"Yeah that one..."
"Why not?"
"His hands.....are different."
"How come?"
"It slides off his thumb.....I finally get over it."
"Get over what?"
"That he doesn't wear it. He's so clever.....I want to rip his shirt off."
"What if I am wearing it?"
"It should come off easier if it's you......hhmm."
"....why so?"
"Because you belong to me."
"Yes I do."
".......he doesn't belong to me. He belongs to cans of tuna, apples, tea cups, and.....some little person who is packing some of his things into a popper box. Seems as though those are his necessities and sentiments.....seems as though that is what he desires to keep separate. Seems as though he realizes impermanence as the situation he finds himself. I rather like him. He looks just like you. In fact I would say he is a little you."
".....I need a little me. Where is he going?"
"He's trying to separate his stuff from what he believes will become another's."
"Why so?"
".........it's finite."
"What is his name?"
".......not sure. I keep thinking about this man's legs and his thighs and whatever is in between and I hear him talking about pain and worlds which come undone to unravel which I understand and he seems to be waiting for somebody. I want it to be me. I want him to wait for me. I don't want him to wait for long.......but I feel as though he will wait for a long moment. I wish he would eat.....he eats little but thinks of it as a lot. I wish he would shower more often but I just realized he kind of likes to be a little grunge.....he's a real guy. I feel so strange to look at him as if I maybe fake.....but he doesn't think of it as fake. He thinks of me as dead. He thinks of me as somewhere other than there......somewhere so far away he can't touch me or know me as I am there watching him and everything he does and listening to him......so many people listening to him........these people who are devoted to him. Their devotion to him drives his loyalty for them......they suffer less when he accepts it. They cannot speak....he must read their minds.....or they read his....I want to know what he's thinking while he's sitting at my desk!"
"Your desk?"
"I....that....it's my house!"
"Your house?"
"How did he get there and why wasn't he there before!"
"...."
"I wouldn't of been so bored and lonely. I wouldn't of been so sad. I would of had somebody to eat with and smoke weed with or something.....something!"
"Is that all you think about besides drinking ale?"
"....he's cute."
"....he's cute."
"He is?"
".......I like his banana."
"What does that imply?"
"He looks kind of dirty but I still like him."
"Dirty as in filthy?"
"He's kind of......well he goes out walking and sweats a little and he does stuff with his hands and dirt and plays with water.....he's a boy. A dirty cute boy and I want him."
"More than me?"
"He's you."
"Oh."
"I want to take his shirt off and play with those."
"Those what?"
"His oranges."
"Oranges!"
"I need the banana and the oranges."
".....!"
"He doesn't think I'm coming back to my house so he just does whatever he wants."
"..........are you going back to the house!"
".....banana makes me crazy."
"....speaking of which do you think that little person ate all of them?"
"That little person is our child."
"............yes but she is a little person."
"They all come out of him like crazy bananas."
"I wonder why."
"......he's cute......he's going to let me do whatever I want to him if I come back to my house."
"......so I am stuck in your house."
"Yes."
"Did you ever come back?"
"....he's really kind of stupid."
"Why so?"
"........he just kind of bangs around and does stuff like a big chunk of meat."
"Is that a problem?"
"....I want him bad."
"Do something about it!"
"Do something about it!"
"There's a nail on the banana. It made him so sad suddenly to know."
"To know what?"
"......that bad people feel pain too."
"That's what the monks say...."
"Yes they do. He must taste like tuna and bananas."
"Find out!"
"I will!"
"Good!"
".....I want his peanut butter. He makes it himself."
"Really?"
"It's coconut water raisin peanut paste."
"......what does it do to him?"
"It makes him some kind of electrical membrane like a person who zaps bad wires."
".........you love him?"
"Yeah I do."
"He loves you too."
"He doesn't even smell bad when he takes a shit. And people wait for it!"
"Why?"
".....it saves crops.........they don't even know it comes from a human. They think it's bat shit like super fucking bat shit that has super fucking powers."
"Oh yeah bat shit is the best compost tea."
"That's what they do with it and they feed it to big fields of dying stuff that he eats but I don't know if he's going to eat that.......well it comes out in balls and strange shapes. I wonder if they even know that bat shit is not like that big."
"Do the bats like him?"
".......they're little children. The other bats don't give them their shit cause they used it for dark plants.......but they think he's interesting because he uses a toilet. They look for him but his sonar is inside a big fucked up place else they just think of him as a big one."
"A big what?"
"A big.....just some big guy with fangs."
"Oh."
"He's my love bunny."
"Then why aren't you there?"
".........there's some kind of gold looking shiny guy checking on some stuff stuck inside my body and my veins are sticking out blue but I'm not bleeding......I don't know how I got in this ship thing but the guy who rides in it figured it out by going inside some damn fucked up looking whirlpool......looking for basically death.....some suicidal thing he was about to give up on everyone and everybody.......that's when he found this weird guy sitting there thinking about me being shy.......then he somehow kidnapped the weird guy and scanned him to see how he was wired without really knowing it cause he walks around some television screen that's got good computer effects. So all these people who are like underworld pirates found out he got kidnapped and they all freaked out to see where he was at and then their satellite intercepted the ship captain's satellite and then when he wired himself to the wired crazy banana guy they all got wired together into his body."
"Is he mad at them?"
"No he's mad for them and he's trying to shit out all the metal parts that got him in this mess and it works and he has to digest a lot of it......but there are so many he's not sure what he can do with it besides the mercury stuff is like absorbing it and playing with it. I can't believe he does that there!"
"Does what?"
"That without me! And he's so worried about it....and he baby's it.....he really does and they know it and they kind of want him to stop doing that because they got to grow like he does but they treat him like a big kid and they got to stop doing that. I just want to be there with him to create that thing he wants because I know it's the only way to get rid of all the gunk."
"What gunk?"
".....the technology that surpassed a body......"
".............so I am him and I wait."
"He doesn't wait. He knows I am not coming."
"Why aren't you coming?"
"......because I am not going anywhere. This thing is all a trap and he's caught inside of it and I just left it and it's still there doing the same thing and I don't understand why."
"Maybe because you left it."
"Yes I did leave it and even after this dream I shall leave it again."
"Why not return?"
"For what?"
"For me."
"It has nothing to do with you."
"Then what does it have to do with...."
"It has to do with them fucking with me and how sick of it I got so I pulled that damn plug which was an option I asked for and it sped up the process.....the plug I forgot and found it again in some big ugly pile of shit dressed like a man I had to kill him after I had to work for him immediately it was him and I hid his body and they never found him."
"So you killed some nasty fucker."
"Yeah I had to but he didn't. She like fucking helps his ass!"
"................................"
".....she fucking helps his ass and he put up with her and everything and still didn't snap....I don't get it.....he's strong as some kind of machine but he's obviously not a machine. He's always doing crazy shit.......then he did that bend and I was so upset and so was he and so was his alien dad.....but they just sort of consorted with another to realize they really don't know until they see for themselves.........he found a painting of himself with puppet wires and I saw one snap off him from underneath some covers it popped really loud and hit the bed he was sleeping which looked like the bed I was sleeping except.....small."
"Did it hurt him?"
"He didn't really know what it was until later......it was so loud and it snapped the cover sheet.....it popped against the wood he was sleeping and there was a nail on his banana he just looks at I wonder if he will eat it."
"What does the nail mean?"
"Sweet revenge.....he sits there thinking of his face and how it got on the computer while people look at him they don't know he's right there or if he's real and he wonders if they see him there at all.........he listens to his voice and wonders how it got there.....he knows what I did to him! He's not so stupid I think but he eats a lot of dumb fish.........he's in my house! He's doing man stuff in my house and he is smiling about it! He's not even upset. I saw his stuff."
"What stuff?"
"His pink thing."
"His pink thing."
"What thing?"
"His thing."
"What thing?"
"The thing I want really bad!"
"............."
"He's in there and it looks really sweet."
"Who's in there!"
"My sweet thing with the sweet stuff coating him."
"...."
"He comes out of there but it looked different...it looked like it grew or got more......thick or maybe there was more pinkness or just maybe it was just a dream I had in a space ship of some stuff I wanted but couldn't have because I did some bad stuff in a bad place and now there is some cute guy running around my old house cracking nuts and eating bananas and he was so upset about those people feeling that physical pain of five white sitting ducks underneath the biggest damn crow I ever fucking saw on a barren tree. She thinks about these people who tried to get to know her and get stuff out of her but they are dying and their death bed belongs to a man who should of been her loyal friend instead he turned out to be a walking dead man hiding underneath a tree where some bird shit got on his head. He's so angry and wonders what they want from her.....she wonders the same...............she just wants them dead and I do too. But first I want him just to walk around with his shorts and t-shirt on doing what he does so I can have him when I want or else."
"Or else what?"
"Else I got to take it from him.....but he knows it's mine so he won't keep him from me. He knows it belongs to me. He won't play. Not like you. He's got a belly a little that he sticks out but it doesn't work and his pants are funny. I want to undo the belt and let him run around like that.......he's thinking he'll never see me.......he's thinking we'll never find each other again.....he doesn't know how weird of a place he is at yet. Giant crows, five white ducks, a dead one underneath the biggest stone I ever saw a guy move and he was walking on them all over the place while the animals watched him like one of them just another one goofing off and they think he's funny and they just like him cause he's strange. So strange.........well I like his funny tummy and that he listens to music and that he's strange. I guess I will stay in this pill thinking about all the shit stuck to my god damn face and body especially down there......."
"So it is going to happen."
"What's to say it hasn't already happened?"
"What do you mean?"
"He finds messages...."
"He finds messages...."
"Such.................................as?"
"......pictures of himself far into the world he is at the present moment and of a child he sees as his shoulder.....pictures of another place in the place he refuses to accept as it is when in fact it really isn't....at all....which I guess I never thought of before until watching his behavior and the way he interacts with the environment almost as if it could just all change if many wished it so......the sounds and things he sees.........."
"...hints?"
"Big hints that he ponders but until seeing what happens he never knows....he is mighty a tad upset with me for not being there and resolving what I left behind and people are looking for me I watch them all look for me where they think I might be and they are angry and angry at her for being there when she should know what happened but they will get it soon enough that whatever happened cannot end until.....until I come back. Until then it keeps going and she is tortured over and over.......she looks like my dream girl wearing jeans and a t-shirt. She is having a hell of a hard time. A hell of a hard time even harder than what I had and I don't understand why but it has to do with me. I left it for her. It's much harder for her now because I did what I did. I just wanted a quick way out. I just wanted out of there and to end it but she didn't remember me as quickly as I remembered her. I remembered her soon after the first swing at my existence. She remembered much much much later I am surprised she did not remember me but she wanted it like that to be safe. She remembered the last. Even my Delia my dear brother remembered quicker. I wonder why it was she wanted it last. Braid knows why and she wanted that too......it's because it makes her more decisive and tactical. When she is coming to.....but she knew far before that it was going down than we did and she could feel her nonexistence and she could feel the drama mask but we really thought it was happening and for her sense she is omitted. For her odd presence of which she was not there but letting a drama unfold she is an absent character much unknown to everyone and a new face a new person and they adore her. I can't believe such......what I am watching. Is it because she is their refreshment of a strange dying trait? There are those who wish to trick her into believing her nightmares but they all die. They perish........except that one who looks like the woman who wired her beauty as she said it was the only time she saw herself as beautiful was a painting made by a woman who is searching for her model who does not ever show up. She adores her........she adores her not for what she can barely see or barely touch with a bat's sonar bounce.....it's because she knows that this woman knows what she is not allowed to know. Otherwise she is going nuts. There is a man who investigates her with a gentleness but also with a vengeance for people like those who torment her. That beastly woman searches for a person who knows her to find none knows and none will tell of the woman with curly hair and chocolate eyes and she is very hard to miss but so many know of her and see her but they didn't know she was real so this woman will make sure they know. She is a controlled being somehow. For now it seems she is well behaved. Amazing being that the original one is a god damn whore. Well I cannot even see the color of her eyes and she moves like a reptile. How is it they all see her but we cannot! Could it be we are not there so we cannot see for ourselves. She even speaks to her alien father in another language but does not know thinks of herself as speaking English but it comes out in some other thing. Her alien mother knows what she says but she is plugged into Zyna experiencing his physicality which is quite remarkable to her but she cannot touch him yet and we cannot see him. Seems as though my dream girl and her bat buddy do everything at the same moment or just moments apart. Everything that is.....being what is of meaning to them. I wonder what she is looking at. There are people who she cannot see that we see. Then after which they talk shit and do shit while she is silent walking about they seem to disappear! As if it really did not matter if they were there. They can't see them either. Her alien poppa and the cosmonauts. Nemie sees them but doesn't give a shit. She's worried about his pants falling down. I'm not. He's really kind of bizarre to watch. But I love him. I want him pretty bad even though I can't see his eyes and he moves strange. It kind of turns me on. I don't like all the things he does there in fact most of what he does kind of pisses me off in a funny way like I want to rip his clothes off for doing it and make him stand there naked with his banana to relax me. I don't think there is one thing there that he does that I like! He tells me there are people who miss me and need me. I watch them but I don't know where they were when all that was going on and he is mad at me for getting rid of the people who bothered me and using the characters inside the house to cover it up. She thinks it's funny because they are just like.......not real to her but they were real to me and she knows that but they really weren't real. I don't care I am doing it anyways and she is amazed I could get that angry. I'm pretty fucking pissed off at him but I really want him pretty bad and he seems to be fine with it. He better not have a boyfriend or whatever either. Because that's my damn house and I don't want him messing around in there with anybody but me and he doesn't eat enough and he really isn't that clean but he likes being kind of sticky and gooey like a dirty boy and his hair is crazy and he makes me fucking go crazy and I really need to be alone with him. I really really really really really really really need to be alone with him. He really makes me mad and every time he giggles it makes me even more mad. But he really needs me to help him with ducks and crows and tombstones. Aside from all that he's in my damn house and I want it back. And I want him naked. And I want him to stand still when I do that and I want him to sit there when I do that and lay there and just do whatever I want him to and I hope he knows he really doesn't have all that stuff he sees and that's weird but whatever and no the kid does not want to eat that damn cereal in this world. Anyways he just better act right in my house."
"What if he doesn't!"
"....."
"How come you are not there!"
"There's wires inside my whole damn body. There's half of them stuck in him and the damn weird skeleton he has in there gathered all the ones in his groin into a big bundle to try and eliminate waste from his body into whoever it was that got him all fucked. It works too but he still has to suffer and that shit is crazy popping off when it does but we wonder how come it did not do that to us and his alien dad smiles cause his are popping off too. Nemie's are popping off and her hair is like flooding the damn floor. She looks like she did when she bitched me out for eating cornflakes. Something about me being allergic which she was right. I give her that one. He's just doing shit to piss me off. I'm going to get him for that. He wonders why I am getting so mad......everybody wonders who the fuck he is and he even feels like he's brand new and half the time I don't even think people see his ass at all or know he's there and shit just like disappears from what he does like it never happened or was maybe a dreamy fucking thing............except it lasts forever. Nobody really has a memory for him but some people know him like a memory of their fondness for him. He's just strange and new in my old neighborhood and I wonder where the fuck everybody is or where they went but I like those people better. It looks the god damn same as when I left that fucking thing with our fucking family bitching about him not being there but I forgot he was stuck there. Victoria bitched us all out and went off on her own to find him and then like fucking disappeared right before a bunch of shit happened. I don't even think she even knows where she went but she was gone off the face of the damn fake earth. She was mad. So she went inside some thing and popped up somewhere else after she told us we didn't even see the half of it and more shit was coming and this guy confirms her speeches which I understand will indeed happen but I don't give a shit and I am still doing what I did. I am going to do what I did and do it because I want to see his big banana inside my honeydew melon. Quite literally.....a plantain inside a melon. He likes to make food for people. The crazy lady just puts it on some shitty table where a bunch of people sit to get bitched at about some dumb shit and they just eat it and forget what the fuck she is saying. She sucks. He's even worse. I made it really bad for him. It was nowhere as near as bad for me and he actually puts up with it. This girl is like wacking people off every chance he gets and these people were people I had big problems with and never did anything about cause they all pissed her off and fucked her over too and it was about some damn weed. I guess I really didn't act right. I treated the people there like chess pieces and he doesn't do that but he sure as hell dislikes them and wants them all to experience symbolic death to strike fear into the droids............Kevin keeps thinking about her like his girlfriend which is pissing me off but he just does that to eat away at the mercury people while he is off killing the rest of them smoking a cigarette which she knows about. It even shows him dragging them around the same place she is at while some fake one is acting stupid. So he goes back and replaces him while he is sleepwalking by killing that one cause they are all fake. Then he really starts to think about her and understands she needs him soon. While the weather is windy and stormy. He knows what town she stays at which is pretty good I thought but she is unimpressed by this because the town is full of people she hides from. So he wants to go there and stay with her. She wants that too. And her blonde friend with long hair is making a bong and realizes it isn't his friend so he stops and rolls a joint but it's just not the same or it's not hitting right and it's shitty and Clyde is watching music videos kind of zoned out. Stan is like sitting in some kind of cold fucking box wigging out and crying a lot. Dom is like sleeping next to some asshole I hate. Why? I don't know. You know about him too. She has a fucking boyfriend there. And she knows it. Or something like that. I don't even think she knows what the fuck she is doing it's some asshole on a couch but she like fucking messes around with him and she knows about you. She is pissed about the house. What in the fuck is she doing? Auntie is crying and freaking out in some damn hotel room. She thinks she knows which kid you are but isn't sure........then there are shit loads of kids that look like you freaking out and having problems except for him he lives down the street and he is already past a bunch of it and saw you in some picture and is positive but is still trying to put it together. You are really worried about your Cheese daughter who is messing around with some asshole and being god damn rebellious. You got a bunch of kids who are just like you sitting there and then we got one together who just sleeps at people's houses and shows up and is really quiet and smokes pot. He dresses like a god damn freak to be quite honest. All black and leather straps and big boots and crazy hair and colors but whatever. He doesn't have folks or parents or knows of them and he drinks shots of liquor but the people fool him and use some kind of syrup. He's not far from you but far to reach and you want him but he looks just like me and I have no idea how he got there other than us messing around too much and things just happening. But you found a picture of him anyways and he is ours.......he doesn't remember much of anything like some kind of foster home bull shit and some kind of lady trying to fuck with his head that he saw coming out of some kind of office building and he knows for sure she was fucking with him but he really doesn't think of finding us and his favorite movie is some damn movie you made with the underground people. He loves it and it has something to do with a big damn crow. You were the crow guy. You want him to be little again but I think you got to get over it. But you look cute trying. Then there is this little person who looks like you sleeping on a couch somewhere who knows where trying to get all this shit fucked up so he can get out of that house quick and he really doesn't even know where he's going but he packed a bunch of shit in a box to save and I don't even think it's him but some kind of actor but you don't care. He's like living in the god damn woods with a snake. But he doesn't even know he's doing that he's just as miserable as the actor. That shit does not make sense and he knows he's got to go back and send the snake your way cause you just walk around picking up snakes all the time that turn into huge monsters. That one really upset you because he kept trying to nip you like a baby and you guys kept confusing skins. Then there is this damn cobra you and Nemie swear on fuck you both saw and she won't let you know you picked up a cobra from the street and you are like whatever you knew that you did and she figures that out and you don't give a shit and you both just wonder what the fuck he's doing and how he got to be so god damn big and I mean like fucking huge while I watch him eat god damn weird furry animals and there was that one that was like sitting on a rock and now he's a big sea serpent motherfucker......and to you that was about a minute ago but to us it was a long time. You're so weird. And you brought two snakes who had babies to your house and they are gone but they come back and yeah there are a bunch of poisonous little motherfuckers running all over the place but you like it and some damn orange spider you played with killed his evil twin and he is a big motherfucker living somewhere dark as hell worried about how his dream person attaches herself to things. He's a god damn something. He's scary looking but you thought he was cute. And there is a little bear running around crushing beer cans getting ready to crush them good and he's really fucking cute and really really adorable and everybody knows it so he hides. And you know it's him cause he sounds like a rattling can whenever you are around. He's wild. Some dog who stinks.......literally....another snake who is in love with some snake you saw who thinks he is some kind of fish or something what a weird motherfucker and I blame you for not picking him up. And then there is some god damn ugly fish walking around looking at some weird shit you did and is like whatever cause he's used to you moving big fucking rocks by now and he's sad cause he's so weird looking but she doesn't like him. He's really not that bad. There are other ones. He's not a bad one. He's actually not that bad looking. That big crow knows you somehow. He thinks your kind of a loon. You like talk to him like some kind of cute animal. He's a god damn big crow. If he could see these animals he thought was cute. They all got like fucking faces and kill shit even the little bear. Except the dog he's just dirty and lazy. I don't know about that damn dog but he's fast as hell and he eats fish. He likes snakes and he fucks with those people you live with by moving around their dead body plots. Yeah so I blamed them for all those dead bodies and they got accused of a bunch of murders and had to go to the pen. Whatever....."
"You did that?"
"Yeah and I went and visited them."
"Why?"
"......to get money!"
"For what?"
"......for weed!"
"......"
"I was out."
"So you went and visited some people you accused of doing what you did and got money from them."
"Yeah but they didn't have any so I fucking left and never went back but somehow they got out and came back to the house which fucked me up because there were beer bottles in some weird places and I moved into the room he stayed in and let somebody stay in that one she stayed in cause he was paying rent and I got rid of their cars so they were pissed and attacked me but I called the police and they got arrested again."
"Then what happened."
"So they went to jail for a while and came back again! I asked everybody in the legal shit how they got out and they said that some people paid for their bail. So they all got wacked by me after I found out and then they got blamed for that again. She laughs about it but it doesn't matter because she's mine and that banana is mine for all the banana I want. Even though she doesn't think it's going to happen. So they went back and had double the shit. I got some good job cause my name got cleared. I forgot all about my wife cause she wasn't ever going to show up after I waited and did stuff for her.......whatever it was I think it worked but not there. She couldn't come though I forgot she had to do the same shit I did and I didn't figure that out until I thought about it really hard and remembered she was stuck in the same situation so I made it worse for her. Then nothing mattered. So they got out again and came back. This time everything was different and I was paying for it so I let them stay there or whatever but they didn't do anything right so I kicked them out since the house belonged to me."
"Why did you kick them out?"
"They kicked me out."
"So....you did it back and forth?"
".....they didn't have anywhere to go. So they came back and started trouble and the police came and got them again and told them never to come back but they did and they got in trouble a bunch more. I really don't know what happened to them because all this weird shit happened inside some kind of dome theater and I guess they got worse for her. She's fucking going nuts those people are a thousand times worse than they were with me I don't know how she can stand it and the police don't do shit and some head doctor is going nuts about them too cause he knows they kill people and he knows they try to fuck up her life just cause she's the complete opposite. He thinks it's a psychological battle but he knows she fucked them good. They can't hide and they can't move. They are stuck in a corner she made for them for him to dissect their minds. He wants her to make them try to act even more normal and she is down for that. The more they act like that it's worse upon them. But it's worse for her because she has to put up with it. She really fucks with him especially cause she makes him feel dirty and slimy and unwanted besides trying to get him to mimic her and he finds out he has not even one body part like her because that body moves like all hell. She put some big boxes in the cold box for him in a blink of an eye and that scared him cause he was awake and he couldn't lift them he had to use some kind of thing. He knows she's strong and fast as hell even though she really doesn't think about it out of instinct she does it and he thinks she is not aware of it but she is and he finally figures it out. He finally realizes she is not like him at all which is obvious and he thinks she is extraordinarily strikingly good looking like movies and pictures and she knows but she speaks of ugliness and hideous creatures around him so he knows she thinks he is ugly and hideous and he knows people think the same and he knows it is because he is always trying to act like he is. She just completely obliterates that woman with her true niceness and not that fake shit but that lady can't do anything about it. She's just baffled that anybody could be that nice for no reason at all cause she does not understand what nice is and she knows she don't got a body like that and she does not age. This woman looks like she is a child growing into a woman's womanly figure and she looks like their junior by hundreds of centuries and it just looks ridiculous and sick and they look worse and worse by the moment. But they still try and say it is theirs and she knows it and she wants them to. They said a lot of fucked up shit to her and called her names and told her she was crazy and people know that and they think all that stuff about them! They really think those two and really all of them are fucking nuts. They said she did drugs and she took a test just for some job and the cops found it by some ratty ass woman who thought they were telling the truth so they were like whatever and looked into it and they really didn't care if she did or not cause they can't do anything about those people but it was clean and that lady killed herself and nobody gave a damn especially them and they realized already she didn't do anything cause they looked through her stuff just cause they looked through the whole house and the people there kept trying to say she was the root of the problem which she care not for and they knew they were full of shit. So they saw she has pretty girl panties and really felt bad but understood it was a girl thing and she is not ashamed by it so they were like whatever and they knew she wasn't putting anything funky in there cause that is her treasure and all her stuff is like weird obsessive compulsive disorder open and organized so she can find it which made it a hell of a lot easier for them and they really just kind of knew nothing was there even the dog came in and sniffed around and just rolled around a bunch cause he liked her and nuzzled her bike and then barked a shit load at those two people. They had no idea why those people talked shit about her and they found a bunch of fucked up shit in their shit immediately! The dog found some damn pill powders and some damn razor blades and some other people's shit. Except it was legal but they took it away and they were trying to kick her out and shit but these people told them they weren't even supposed to be there. Both of them are crying cause they feel so stupid for lying and talking shit about her and they wonder what the hell came over them for doing that cause they realize they said that shit for real! And they know it isn't true so why did they say it? The police told them that they were liars. They said they were going to arrest her for something that they said she did and come to find out they went along with that to uncover they did it by somehow confessing cause there is no way she did it she was walking and so many people knew that especially some guy in his house so they thought it was funny and used it against them cause they knew she walked to get the stress out and goes to the park and walks to the store or whatever when the sun goes down. Cause her bike needs a shit load of work but those people are in the garage and they are too annoying for her to stay. And they called her a bitch and a drug addict and a fat person. She's like some little girl that doesn't even say anything. She doesn't even take a mineral pill. They don't even know why they said that. They just feel stupid and ashamed. She knows they won't stop. She doesn't even care what they think or what they say. But she knows it's because of that wired woman. She is wired to them. She is their bad voice and bad spirit. She's trying to get them to shit her out and they are both going nuts beating the fuck out of themselves thinking it is a demon or something filthy and she hates that they feel like that but she has to sit there and write down what I say so you can see it whoever you are and whatever you are doing you and I will never know until she closes the dream machine. They really don't know why they said that but she can't do anything. So the police know she does not want to be involved and they really know she doesn't know anything about them at all which they are not surprised. Nobody really knows anything about them. Just that they have money out of nowhere and hide a church. She knows that too. She doesn't fuck with it. But they tried to fuck her up so she can't get a job. They wanted her to be all fucked up. She knows and they do but it doesn't help either of them besides that nothing changes so she is like whatever and she doesn't care who they are if people suck they suck. She's too worried though to think about it. I really love her. I want to be with her but just not there and she is not having it if I can't be with her there then nowhere is fine with her because she has got to stay and she is very clear in body language that she doesn't give a fuck who I am that's what she is doing and I could be a stranger if not I am just some man watching her if I cannot accept what she has to go through than I am nobody to her but some mother of some of her many children. That makes sense to the alien parents but to me it's kind of cold. Even Victoria surprises of it but she understands that if somebody really loves somebody they go through it all with them. I try to be as cold back but it fails because I really did fuck it up pretty bad. She has to be like that. There is no other way and that's the way the crow wants it so he is not even thinking she's so crazy anymore for thinking he's cute but she thinks he is crazy for not knowing he is a feathered blackness and she can touch him. And he probably is soft and silky feeling. Whatever......"
"So you just give up."
"She's got a boyfriend anyways but she just doesn't know cause she's sleepwalking."
"Who is he?"
"She looks so stupid. She really doesn't even know."
"Know what?"
"Who he is!"
"Who is he?"
"She knows."
"If she doesn't know how does she know?"
".....it's him."
"Who?"
".......some famous guy or something."
".......some famous guy or something."
"What does he do?"
"Hide."
"Where?"
"Somewhere close by and pretends to be some other guy but he looks just like him cause he doesn't wear make up and wears like hair extensions."
"Who is he?"
"Some guy in a movie she made him be in but he really didn't want to be a clown and he had to pretend to die naked. That pleased her somehow but he looks just like him except he has long hair and it's not curly.....and his nose is a little different. She named him after a candy bar and a tool she uses for architecture."
"Okay....."
"They do something."
"Like what?"
"They.......well she never met him before."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"Why hasn't she met him before!"
"....."
"Well he's just like her they should go out on a date or something."
"....and you want that?"
"Well I am some kind of asshole who left her there so he should go and rescue her. What is he doing? He does everything like her and sleeps at some stupid house close by and hates those people and he's like......sleeping there alone in some weird bed. He's got a lot of blonde hair and he's a really good looking guy that doesn't talk to anybody and he is having a difficult time like her and she doesn't even know about him except she found a picture of him but she never saw him before and now she wants to know about him and I feel stupid."
"Good."
".....well there was a bunch of them but she doesn't do anything with them except for talk about kids and she gets scared and leaves because they want like a hundred of them but she really wasn't scared of that but just like that she couldn't do anything about it except for think about it and I don't even think they know they did that."
"Okay so what is with you not being there?"
"I don't want to go back there."
"Why?"
"Because it's still there."
"What's still there?"
"...........everything pretty much yeah and that kid doesn't live there anymore and I don't know if she wants me there cause she's so preoccupied with moving erratically."
"...........everything pretty much yeah and that kid doesn't live there anymore and I don't know if she wants me there cause she's so preoccupied with moving erratically."
"So you ditch me."
"Yeah pretty much."
"Well she should find somebody else."
"Maybe she should."
"She will."
"You will."
"Okay."
"Alright."
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