My Cat

"What do you mean your stomach hurts?"

"....dude I mean my stomach god damn hurts."

"Do you got to use the....jon?"

"....okay maybe that's it I will be right back. Stay here with them."

"Do we have to?"

"Else they will move all around and do......shit."

"......."

"Why doesn't she ever talk to people?"

"Why don't you talk to people?"

"............."

"Okay."

Screeching boiling bubbles filter through an empty space which previously hosted a vessel similar to an intestine known as the stomach; we watch coagulating fertilizer. Odor is hydroponic gardening while curious utensils prod a serious aching premonition.

"Why do you want it?"

"....it's bat guano."

"But it's my stomach."

".....you'll remember this later. Don't worry.....your blood will eat it for you. When you go to the bathroom all that other stuff will come out tomorrow."

"What's the other stuff?"

".........like all that other stuff like it!"

"I need to lose weight."

"Doesn't everybody?"

"No really I really need to lose this weight."

"....is that your black shirt?"

"Yeah I think or the girl who wears it to conveyor belt android fucker line nagging bee drone hive."

"......you must work everywhere then."

"....are you my neighbor?"

"I came here from Minnesota."

"Why?"

"To get the bat guano."

"....are you calling me a bat?"

".......well......."

"Are you dreaming?"

"I'm sleepwalking."

"What are you using it for?"

"A marijuana garden."

"Like big buds and cannabis cup?"

"....it's hemp. Marijuana with buds is too hard to grow."

"Why?"

"You got to be like really sensitive and like......dead or something.:"

"Why dead?"

"Because only dead people care that much about dying."

".........so where you going to put that?"

"Inside a bucket and take it on the plane!"

"...it's shit."

"Nope. Not what comes out of you. The next one is going to be like stolen by some guy and a plumber because you will be awake."

"Why don't people visit me when I am awake?"

".....because they are awake."

"I want to know what is happening always."

"........I saw your husband on some weird water screen."

"Where was that?"

"Some scientist showed it to me and told me that he was trying to bring him here."

"Yeah well tell him to hurry it up already because she's going crazy and we are tired of being here."

"Okay Miss Boar."

"....yeah and that he really needs to figure out where there is a portal."

"....is that Mr. Donkey?"

"Yes."

"....oh."

"..."

"He's got really blonde hair and like crystal blue eyes. He's got some kind of underwear model chest and stuff."

"...underwear model?"

"Yeah he's got all those lumps and puffs."

"......yes he does."

"It looked like he wanted it to be harder or bigger or something."

"I want to be smaller and lighter."

"....are you serious?"

"Yes."

"If you were any....nothing will stop you?"

"I have to do it."

"Why?"

"To save the earth!"

"Okay that makes sense."

"....."

"She eats like as much as her little brother."

"Yeah but she shits like a fucking moose."

"You do."

"....."

"How come she doesn't talk?"

"I don't have a clue."

".....well you sure as hell get rid of everything in your body quickly. Can I touch your face?"

"....why?"

"Because it doesn't look real."

"How doesn't it look real?"

".....I need to touch it."

"Okay."

"..........it feels like a baby."

"Thanks."

"No really it does."

"Great."

"....it's real."

"Why would you think it wasn't?"

"Cause you're too cute looking."

"What the fuck!"

"Well you are. But then again you're really evil."

"....yeah okay."

"Were you Gene Kelly?"

".....yeah that was a long....that was....where am I?"

"God damn that fucker could do crazy shit with his feet."

"How did you know?"

"Just from the way you move around."

"I'm not even doing anything!"

".....what are those kind of bananas?"

"Where are we?"

"In your room."

"They are plantains I named after mommas."

"......what do they taste like?"

"Really good."

"I want to eat one."

"You can so can everyone but it will make you think you are dying."

"Why?"

"Cause it puts you to sleep."

"....cool."

"Just bake it in the oven at 350 degrees."

"In the skin?"

"No you cut it with a knife and peel it."

"Can I fry it?"

"Yeah in canola oil but you won't lose any weight."

"I'm going to risk it."

"Cut it in slivers. It lubricates oil into neutral phases so it's not unhealthy just weird."

"So it's not heavy?"

"No but you won't lose weight and you won't be able to do anything like exercise or work out for like two or three days and nights."

"Why does it do that?"

"....it's an oiled banana god damn it."

"Oh."

"........yeah!"

"......I knew that."

"You can't cook a regular banana like that."

"Why?"

"Cause this one has texture that defies all sorts of cooking. I ate a fresh one that was weird....like never been able to do that except here from a peel. Like a real banana!"

"......it is a banana."

"Yeah but it's not like a fruit."

"It's sort of like a potato."

"Yeah....."

"Except no starch."

"Right."

".....how did it make you feel?"

"........it was delicious....then I disappeared."

"Oh."

"I can't remember a damn thing."

".......could you grow marijuana with buds and like cannabis cup?"

"....if it was legal and if there was a sun."

"I understand. It's dangerous."

"It's not that it's just not what we would expect because there is no sun."

"Just a big flashlight magnifying thing."

"It hurts a lot."

".....I had a heat stroke last week."

"Drink a gallon of water a day."

"Wow."

"Yeah...."

"What are those people doing?"

"Talking about donkeys, boars, and buffalo."

"....what are you going to be?"

"A bat....that's what they told me."

"For how long?"

"They said until they tell me they want me to be her again."

"Oh."

"Then I die and they carry my body to a river of blood."

".....will I be there?"

"I don't know will you?"

"Yes."

".....they said it was for like a second and then I came back."

"From where?"

".....where I come from."

"Russia?"

"Jamaica."

"Why not Russia?"

".....there's no box there."

"Like Pandora?"

"Yeah.........just like that."

"You didn't hurt the snake."

"He had like a little triangle cut thing on his tail."

"That's where the guano came out of you."

"It looked like he was spewing intestines."

"Yeah like you."

"He was shy."

"Like you?"

"No it worse."

".....he was shy of you."

"I'm shy of me too."

"................"

"Sometimes I look for my friend Cordelia but she isn't here and sometimes I run outside looking for Varushna but she isn't here and sometimes I look for my dad but he's not here either..."

"I know you do. Everybody knows you do that."

"I look for my friend Braid to eat tuna with."

"Where is she?"

"Destroying a world."

"I dreamed about a woman with fuchsia flower budded hair."

"What did she do?"

"She wore black and was a quiet dictator."

"Of what?"

"The world."

"What happened?"

"She told them that death and darkness was one; all would decide whether or not is an outcome. She was alone and she knew it. Everybody else was dying from disease and people were afraid to touch her or do anything because of some mechanical guards and a guy they called Turbo.....there was two of him one with a purple crystal and the other with a red one. The guards were like as tall as twenty feet and had axes....she named them Vic and Eli."

".....what was the world like?"

"People had like mini nuclear weapons killing each other. She lives in some huge mansion on a mountain that looked like a panther. That's when they came and visited her....the people with newspapers."

"Victoria who the fucking hell are these people...."

"Actors?"

"No that's not fucking make up is the camera swinging on their god damn mugs?"

"Yeah babe."

"....don't fuck around right now cause these fuckers are not acting."

"......I thought I heard him ask you if you did all for the panther and her return to your presence...."

"Yeah and then they asked me if I liked working at some god fucking place with a conveyor..."

"And he asked you if you liked some guy who had kissed you while Snow White."

"And then they asked me if I desired to be with you again eternally as my friend."

"Yes.....what is this make up? The props were cheap..."

"It's not fucking make up Toria."

"What is it?"

"God fucking hell Victoria. It's fucking the earth or something."

"How are they doing this?"

"How are we alive?"

"Who are they?"

".....crows....and owls......moths......snakes......come here for a second."

"What about bat?"

"No my dearest come here."

"You look funny."

".....they're not human."

"Who?"

".......something that guy whispered."

"....what are these?"

"Elders or some shit that watches us everywhere. Except they don't have bodies because of what we go through.....these motherfuckers are wise asses like eternal god damn nocturnal....god damn I can't believe how damn good this fucking movie is going to be.....anyways....should I act????"

"Do you ever?"

"Do you?"

"The soul will sever."

"Thine is my hero."

"As well...."

"Doest forth."

"How can I?"

".....you are my love."

"You are mine. None shall come above."

"Did you marry my brother?"

"Did you marry mine?"

"How did this happen?"

"Perfection is unkind."

"......they freak me out with their faces."

"Sometimes we are not acting."

"Are you acting bat guano maker?"

"No I am not."

"......so that's as far as I got with that one."

"..........Delia who will see this?"

"....people who need marijuana."

"Delia who will know you are my immortal?"

"People who need marijuana."

"Delia who will know you are my husband's sister?"

"People who need marijuana."

"....did he just ask me if we were the children of the donkey rider?"

"........did you just curse thirty-eight moments to tell him to go fuck himself because we are?"

"Yes."

"He smiled."

"....fucker."

"He smiled again."

"Was it real?"

"He's going to fuck us up really bad."

"No not them. They want those ladies in the water....the faces of HIV."

"....he just told you a bunch of stuff in Latin really fast did you get it all?"

"....pictures, illusions, numbers, graphs, memorandum, weight loss, suffocation, heroes, legends."

"Reminisce..."

"....he just asked me if I like to skateboard."

"Whose asking?"

"Some people who need marijuana sitting on a couch with weird popcorn."

"I can't believe he said that in Greek and you laughed Delia!"

"Sssshhh! They can hear your voice in the background and the Nintendo...."

".....he told me to jump up and miss the mushroom."

"You got to eat the mushroom Toria!"

"That guy just said my bike is a Notre Dame tower."

"That guy just said those people worry a lot about leaving us."

"To what?"

"To the end of innocence."

".....hey guy with the god damn half head hair...."

"Shit Vic do you got to call him that?"

"Hey.....hey you.....how come nobody knows we are virgins?"

"...he just said too obvious is amiss."

".......that guy just said the people who eat popcorn are discomforted bodies."

"You just said that marijuana shall cure pain and sickness...."

"That guy just said he don't smoke the shit like he was the blackest motherfucker on earth."

"........okay."

"He said to keep walking never mine the bullocks."

"........Vic don't make that face."

"It's latex!"

"Don't do it because it looks like you."

"It looks like a fucking condom!"

"Shut up. That's nasty."

"He just said to make water balloons out of them and bomb political parties."

"Oh fuck."

"I don't want to touch those things."

"......you invented them!"

"No...oh."

"I just thought they were cake decorators."

"....fucking cubicles."

"He just said video games are a bad habit."

"....god damn it Delia!"

"........okay get out of here I can handle this shit."

"You're such a fucking damn......professional actress."

"I am an actress."

"What am I?"

"....my cat."