Desert

We play an unfortunate game of Russian Roulette with Rosa and Caviar; my husband and I run to New Mexico sharing a hitchhike. Our excitement is each other, any excursion of will is one silhouette of unsolicited numbers, we are together until the end; Chester caught us kissing, he is a child witnessing passion.

I work with a distinguished gentle woman divorcing Great Britain, she settles into a shop for skin indulgence; alchemy is a parfum creation, every potion an exoticism of scent. Ebony addresses a package to this unusual address; eccentricity of location and selection is evidence of my migration, much to my unknown presence everyone knows where I am.

"Cherry blossoms.....amazing.....you are going to brew a lotion?"

"Yes."

"You seem upset....."

"I miss my husband."

"Where is he?"

"They told me some horrible woman came for him."

"Hhhmmm.....I will take care of her."

Rolf returns with a basket of fruit and nuts; cherries, peanuts, raspberries, almonds, blackberries, macadamia. My fingertips delight of his lips however our tone is sorrowful regret, he confesses to meeting a disguised woman with threatening physical English not of violence rather continuing disregard for her health; I care not for the person in question, my husband is not a willing captive, he belongs with me no matter what may come.

"She's the controller Victoria; she coordinates all this stupid shit."

"You're pissed off Thad."

"Chester is plugging her inside some fucking machine."

"What are they doing to her?"

"Fucking with her battery."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You're going to hate her fucking guts."

"Do you?"

"She eats all my damn food."

"I don't know why."

"You look really good."

"I still don't like you Thad."

"I was not sucking up."

"I feel like shit. I don't understand this body; my stomach hurts immensely, the colon pains of me. My size is smaller than I can recall and the flesh is unusually soft. There are scars...."

"The scars were her idea."

"Why?"

"She's just a fucking bitch Victoria, not like the cute shit you and Cordelia do, she's a real god damn nasty ugly fucking fat bitch."

"What does she want?"

"Your secret."

"You already know it."

"Yeah I do so does Chester. We all know it."

"Why does she want to know?"

"For money I guess."

"She can keep the fucking money."

"That's what we told her. It's not about money."

"Here comes Chester....."

"Victoria I hate her."

"You don't hate me?"

"No I could never hate you even though you despise me at least there is a good reason."

"Okay....."

"Get rid of her when you find her."

"What?"

"I am going to put her in a certain position. When she is down do what you got to do. Remember what that means?"

"Yes....I want my body back."

"I know you do. We all want you to have your body back. You're a lot smaller than you used to be. What the fuck, you feel sick huh?"

"My digestive system is very sensitive and finicky. I can hardly eat.....there's some other quirks. Why does it look like this?"

"It looks really soft."

"There are fucking scars."

"I'll get her for that."

"What is that thing?"

"It's your heart monitor graph. We tricked her and wired a pump inside of her cardiovascular system. You can give her a heart attack. You can give her the most god awful pain any person could ever feel inside of her chest."

"Wonderful...."

"You look younger."

"It's frightening."

"They gave her too many provisions for selling out."

"She'll be gone soon."

"Not soon enough."

"What does she have to do with me?"

"She's the fucking controller! She's a fucking ugly fucking bitch."

"Say fuck again."

"Fuck!"

"That was enjoyable for me."

"She's going to make your life miserable because she's a worthless cunt."

"If you hate her so much why don't you do something about it?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"I've been mad at you Chester."

"Oh yeah.....I can't do anything about her. They got her hooked up with some shit that fucks with my shit."

"When do I get to see my husband?"

"I feel like your child again."

"You're in trouble."

"I know. I don't understand why you care about him."

"He is me and I am without. I won't stand for this much longer. I am not like her. I can disappear very factually indeed. The bats won't put up with her shit."

"They will."

"Why?"

"They want all of this shit to be over with."

"As do I."

"They will stay with you no matter what and you are going to be sad as hell. She thinks she's fucking smart or some shit. She's one of the stupidest god damn people I ever met."

"You don't really know any stupid people Chester."

"Oh yeah."

"You are quite intelligent even if misguided....."

"She got fucked over anyways. They deceived her; she is very simple minded, perhaps that will thwart her intentions."

"I understand; does she understand?"

"It's like she's a blind greedy pig."

"That's what they call police officers."

"Yeah I know. She reminds me of them sometimes."

"Pigs or police officers?"

"Both."

Jester's camera is nonmetallic and shaped into a cylinder, the photographic device is easily hidden for our adventures. I sit behind bars wearing a blue and black uniform with a white t-shirt, a man I share the cell tells me to eat, another man suggests a belt, the water fountain spills from a cup and my drawers hang out with prisoners. The crime is extracting a spring mechanism from a nine millimeter semi automatic weapon during a training session which was incidentally experimental, I do not know shit about guns, regardless a blast of powder stained a ranking individual therefore I am punished.

"The fat lady told them it was you."

"She needs a surgical procedure to get that god damn stick out of her fucking ass hole."

"It must be so god damn long and wide with splinters."

"I wonder how it got there."

"Probably from breaking a chair."

"Why would she do that?"

"She's got a huge ass Victoria."

"A donkey?"

"Never mind. What is with you and donkeys?"

"It's a joke between Ruby and I."

We configure a stunt module of social distortion displaying many talents surely music television will broadcast nonsensical madness. Alligators are friendly animatronics, shopping carts can be radio controlled, skateboarding into flying contraptions is chaotic fun. Sentimental sanity reminisces several insane moments with Hilda Bee; we both answer to Dick why not Jackass?

"Hilda I will miss you too much."

"I will kick anybody's fucking ass that fucks with my Dicks!"

Caviar's favorite letter of mine she keeps whenever in need of evil laughter; I tried to be a bitch but she giggled.

"Victoria they put hair on her chin."

"So what, we all have hair on our faces."

"Okay......aren't you pissed off about your body?"

"Yes and it doesn't make anatomical sense regardless of the query."

"I know."

"This is my final growth spurt however the hormones....."

"I know."

"I don't."

"It will be okay I promise."

"Where are you going?"

"Bye Victoria. It was nice to be around you again."

My concoction is pink creme justified by a pair of scales to weigh six hundred and twenty-three grams; the aroma is therapeutic sadness I enhanced with fifteen droplets of tears. The bottle is an emptied milk brought to me by Amy which I bathed for three hands waving to an open window, I leave Sakura on the counter as I adjust my test garter, five women and one man wait for assessment. I left the studio wearing a wife beater and an assistant's slacks; my undergarments are black, Colin Stuart straps my feet three to a half inches from the earth I mysteriously walk only to discover everywhere I turn a stranger is watching.

"How much for this?"

"You can have it."

"No I couldn't...."

"I don't give a shit just take it. You're just like them anyways. Give it to that person who dropped you off here to spy on me."

"I'm sorry."

"You surely are......get the fuck out."

"What do you think of me?"

"Three moons."

"There is only one I know of....."

"Three moons and you will be gone."

"What about you?"

"I will live in your god damned house."

"I'll leave it in your name; what is it?"

"Leave it in my husband's name."

"What is that?"

"Chad Lee."

"I got it. Hey since you're not mad at me will you get rid of her?"

"Who?"

"You can't miss her. She's the fattest ugliest bitch you ever saw in your whole fucking life."

"Rotten....."

"That's how I feel about her."

"I don't care for cats."

"She's going to set you up with two."

"Wonderful."

"She won't stop until you are gone."

"I don't leave."

"I know. She doesn't know what you are or anything about you."

"Then why is she doing this?"

"Something about a desert camera....."

"What?"

"Try to remember."

"I've been photographed quite a bit."

"You're not in the roll."

"I don't have a camera."

"Have you ever been to the desert?"

"Yes.....I found water."

"What did you do?"

"I threw a handbag I found into the shallow drip."

"Did you look inside of it?"

"There was a naked picture of a woman. I hated it."

"Why did you hate it?"

"She was raped."

"How did you know?"

"I threw them in there too."

"Where did you find them?"

"A bat cave."

"Were there bats in there?"

"No......"

"Why not?"

"They're here right now."

"I got to fucking go. She's beeping me....."

"Tell them Victoria says fuck you."

The house groans when I leave; scabs cover the building with existent nothingness. Ridiculousness of petty portrayal points to many petty people. I think of my eternal children always; I contemplate how many clocks must pass for a person to ever be worth a damned circle. Little is a word describing a much larger world in which the thought of smallness is determined by deserted mankind.