Reasonable Denial

Relief is an addiction which never satisfies distress; the source is a feverish distraught bound to a target whether moving or still. I breathed a cry of woe yet torment persists. My enemy is not dead; my enemy lives for drama. My contemplative concern is how I cannot recall angering any person or thing; although I am unaware of temper and cynical boastfulness. There will be those equipped with chastisement however once utilized, a device weakens.

This has been a watchful stance without mindfulness. A life unknown to me is an implanted memory however some of which is useful as a determinant.

"......is that really you? My life has been so different without you....."

Nadia lays upon a white platform mattress clothed in similar; a deeper sense of self recognizes her without thought, she is flowing through my veins. The beauty of this face is an infinite reverence I dedicate my zombie glitches. How she appears is the nature of how we exist. The residence is a blind terrestrial territory; we both witness a person in the image of our insecurities interact for lack of better communication. I awaken inside a brown vial, length of my neck, width of an artery, shape of mental fucking.

Watermelon, apple, grapes, meal fed to a wrapped duckling; the swan's provisions made him a tad sick. Her responsible tears do not keep my stomach; I cannot digest dismay and nourishment at once. She listens to my chest for a heart beat stranger than nonexistence. I listen to the damned falcon every moment he swoops for a mouse.

"What happened to them?"

"They will be fine."

"They're unconscious; how did this occur? You were present when I left."

"I am present now."

"I realize that."

"I don't care for your friends."

"I can see that."

"One is a dentist."

"I didn't know that."

"Another one is a psychologist."

"Okay."

"That one there is a neurologist."

"What about her?"

"She is a secretary."

"And him?"

"He is a lieutenant."

"The child is sleeping."

"Is he yours?"

"How did you know?"

"The nose."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Which one is the....."

"I'm not sure."

"Did he come from you?"

"Oliver please come here. I want you to meet somebody."

"Hello."

"Hi....."

"What's your name?"

"Nincompoop."

"May I call you Ninny?"

"Sure."

Delusion is dear accompaniment as I am an indefinite trance of directional experience; whichever way I go I am likely to miss the destination. This is a deaf, dumb, and blind engagement. I assume this will continue until death but from a moment's observation I understand mortality does not change distortion.

"She has a child."

"Are you sure?"

"Same exact nose."

"I need to see him."

"His name is Oliver."

"We must go now before it's too late."

"I never heard you speak of being late or early."

"Fuchsia intends visitation....."

"She won't touch her."

"She doesn't have to."

"Braid will desire a covenant of some sort."

"Covenants are signed with blood."

"Yes."

"What other physical characteristics does the child behold?"

"Wavy orange liquor hair and sun speckles."

"Freckles?"

"Yes....."

"What else?"

"He is.....he has some.....he is more........."

"Width exceeds length?"

"About even I would say."

"Who is the contributor?"

"The benefactor is a priest."

"You're shitting me?"

"Am not."

"Don't fuck around with me."

"I'm not, most occasions I would however tis the truth."

"Does Catri know?"

"You will tell her."

"Will you be there?"

"I will be nearby."

Repetition is incidental, I am a lost pretender; my immediate phrase upon thought is, "What the fuck is going on and what the fuck did I do.....oh yeah.....it couldn't have been that bad."

"Fuck me."

"Let's make love instead."

"Okay."

"I saw him."

"You did?"

"Kat took me to a window."

"Where was it?"

"An extravagant building with colorful glass pictures."

"Church?"

"Is that what it was?"

"Yes."

"Oh....."

Rebels are forgetful personalities. Sacrifice is everything and everyone composing of us as we were and as we are not. We prefer not to ponder sensuality, vitality, bringing forth ourselves for likeness of contradiction, articulation, ambition, dwelling, obviously the devotion of such is not as devout.

"He is very polite."

"Yes."

I am seriously considering inversion to be a mental ripple; I ride the current until I crash a forceful wave. Crying is a monsoon while the villagers gaze upon abandonment.

"He is a bit....."

"He'll grow out of it."

"The nose is remarkable."

"I will never forget that damned nose."

"Neither will I."

"Did you enjoy the service?"

"Something about.....adultery?"

"The Scarlet Letter."

"He's married..."

"Which one?"

"The secretary."

"There are other children?"

"Just him."

"Dearest me."

"Tri listened to the whole sermon however I do not feel as though she understood the religious context."

"She didn't know it was a fucking church."

"It's not a fucking church."

"Who is the....."

"I think I figured it out."

"Yes....."

"An alter boy."

"Bloody hell!"

"He looks youthful."

"What do you mean?"

"He is an alter boy."

"Those gown clad figurines.....?"

"Funeral processions, wine goblets, unleavened bread....."

"What is his name?"

"Joseph."

"Which story is that?"

"Rainbow coat covered in blood."

"Oh yes Pharaoh explained that to me."

"Gives me the chills quite honestly."

"Joseph represents capitalistic neo democracy upon anarchy; self reflection is imprisonment of color, the result of impressionistic propaganda."

"What about the blood?"

"Shed by those desiring neither."