Relocation Vocation

"Well Sun what would you do if you had a joint like that to take care of? What is it again? Something about cleaning people's dirty laundry...."

"I would sell it to somebody who wants to knock it down and sell it to a sandwich shop."

"What that place be called that gives the kids them intellectual questions with they lunch?"

"Quizno's..."

"Yeah that it right there....you would sell it? What about the people there?"

"Sounds like a bunch of miserable assholes except for the people who don't do anything..."

"...no such thing....anyways I dreamed you did that and some people that worked there already had jobs anyways so it don't matter to them. They just wanted to work there cause they like clothes a lot. Some ugly lady with a bad attitude got told off and starts crying to them people she thinks like her but they don't give a shit and that little fuck hole of a guy who started yelling at you about some dumb shit has to sit in the slammer for a hundred and eighty human days."

"Do I have to see them again?"

"In hell....that ugly boy girl lad works at some shit hole for a while....they make him go to rehabilitation....you do some shit for Thad while he stuck in another dimension."

"How do I find him?"

"You got to do that thing for him...it funny too because you get that thing the day it happens and the lady is really honest but she so sick from being six people. She really honest though....you wearing what you got to wear to work there the day that happen and you got your fancy black shoes on to do it! Funny ain't it....that lad girl boy be watching you the whole time but he a traitor anyways...he told them to get rid of you but he got rid of....then that guy sell it all to the sandwich shop and you all made out but you still dead. They don't know you alive. That man so sad because he think you dead too....he was so angry at them for betraying you but them people still don't leave....I be talking to that ugly little man while he sitting in that box and he laughing but he stupid. He hear my voice...I be talking while I am walking inside Texas thinking about time...ugly lad boy gets everything smack back into his face....Louis stares him down and asks him if he a boy....that damn ugly robot boy motherfucker be switching into them dimensions and fucking shit up!"

"Do I have to see him again?"

"Nope."

"....or that lady and that guy?"

"Nope."

"Cool."

".....that happened to six hundred people at the same moment. Them people who listen to you did the same thing and your neighbors too....except Chip....but he gets into trouble for chocolate cookies getting lost in between....that stupid though what would he do with chocolate cookies?"

"Don't know..."

"Cake told that motherfucker to shove it and that they all out there and that bitch got sold to some gas station that people use quickly."

"......oh......"

"Anyways that place you was at with them nasty people was all fucked up. But don't worry....everybody made out alright....except them three dumb asses and some boy who think he know a lot about money....then that rapper Stan be telling some ugly lady that she the dumbest bitch in the world that he know who own that shop and they be gone soon."

"Where is Stan?"

"He with Sheba and Dominia."

"What are they doing?"

"Playing...."

"They like that."

"Some man that saw that ugly little guy yell at you called the police! He told them he was trouble and then everybody else call them and tell them they saw that lady hit you on the head and that she be grabbing at you! She ends up using her life savings to bail her ass out."

"Damn..."

"Then that sick lady at the sandwich shop starts drinking some special tea to help her stomach."

"Oh..."

"You like her but she so sick it trouble you every day you there."

"Damn...."

"That dumb ass robot really going to keep going on....they all going to do that cause they so used to drama but this time for real....this time for real....that place is gone and then I had a dream them two people who got disappeared brought you back your machine!"

"Really!"

"Damn how much that machine make anyways?"

"Eight hundred thousand pounds sterling."

"Sunny what you do with it?"

"I gave it to Nadia."

"What she do with it?"

"She gave it to some guy named Gucci."

"Good..."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"....what about Dominique?"

"Dominique quits her job and searches for you. She remember you and that meter inside her heart starts desiring you to be with each other...she take a computer...."

"What about that guy with the shiny car?"

"He moves away for a while. Some place with robot dinosaurs...his job send him there...."

"Life is so strange."

"Yeah but that dumb ass boy girl think he know every move you make but you just trick his ass cause he a robot for real....they just memorize patterns....the moment you tell them that place is getting sold it does and some guy calls and loses his temper worse than you!"

"I like him."

"He so angry for the girl that worked there....a friend of his told him about her and the shit she had to deal with....that dumb bitch got to get some job working at a hair salon where she was bitching at a lady to cut her hair."

"Oh..."

"But when they see this they still don't believe it."

"Why?"

"They stupid and routine assholes. Don't forget you are Victoria and you are from Jamaica England....don't forget to fix that bike! You going to need it to transport Fiesta!"

"The bird?"

"Nope....that man with the car missed you a lot for some reason he can't figure out....he cries and packs his things and leaves that very night!"

"......hhhmmm......"

"Then all them people who came up there to see you learn how to wash they own clothes....they start doing it like you....."

"I know how to steam and press and do all that."

"That shit is over."

"Yeah it is..."

"The police keep going up there and giving that lady tickets....it comes up to five hundred thousand United States Dollars....she keep thinking she know where you live but she don't know that you know how to deal with that."

"Huh?"

"Sharp enough for you yet?"

"Never enough..."

"That dumb ass Peanut B gets punched in the mouth by some guy named Lawnmower for cursing and asking for money to get shit to pump into his stomach and that lady we call Orange Girl calls the police and tells them Peanut started the fight but they let him go this once."

"How do you know all this stuff?"

"I'm talking to myself walking down that street by Zen's house. Anyways....I dreamed it all before...then Die Die asks to relocate to another kind of store somewhere else....it closer to you but still in another realm or something...."

"What about Cake?"

"She sad but she get another job right after doing something she like."

"What about Tomato and Page?"

"The rest alright."

"...are they in other dimensions?"

"No they in the same one as you but they hate those people in that house so they don't say nothing at all....especially Chip he act like a god damn Super Trooper...that his nickname. They still dreaming though..."

"Does Peanut Butter leave me alone?"

"Eventually when he on his own. He gets kicked out and has to get his own apartment."

"That's good for him."

".....then that man with the shiny car thinks about how he won't have to see that ugly lady at the cleaning store again! He does something about that house you live in....Dominique forgets she own it or something....she bought it from some mad lady and she forgets about it."

"She is not susceptible to digital splits or multiple personality presentation."

"No but she susceptible to being damn crazy loyal."

"......yeah......"

"Some man who runs a lot worries about you and your family....he know you look for them everywhere you go....he turning into a beeper and then the beeper guy at the green store don't know he own that whole thing....cause that little bat inside of you asked him to do something that made a bunch of sterling....he kept it inside your closet while you was not looking then he went and did that for him but you and the bat the only one who know. That man gets fired!"

"Why?"

"He gets mad about you not being near him. He starts going nuts! He feel like sad for you! But he gets a job doing something with boxes."

".....what to do?"

"You read and eat tuna. You worry about ravens, your children, Ziggy, Artemis, and me."

"What about Diesel?"

"He always thinking about you and Kevinya. He thinking about Clyde too....Clyde moves away to somewhere with water for a while to go to some dumb building but he leaves after they give him some stupid piece of paper but he get that quick. Then he don't do nothing with it! Jack be nimble and jack be quick but jack with my friend and you dead!"

"....how do they sentence people to jail there?"

"They got to go to court. She gets him out but he has to go away..."

"What does he get into trouble for?"

"Extortion and some other shit he did to Dominique....he is such an ugly little twirp with fake eyeglasses....they not that stupid though.....they know you went to some big fancy school and got every degree in that house but it don't mean anything to you or anybody else."

"It really doesn't."

"Louis is there....he hiding....he so worried about you....he never left there to do that before....he said when that happened to him that the guy stayed there and watching him the whole time."

"Oh?"

"....the police like you Sunny. They think you such a nice caring little person they wonder why they got rules at all."

"Rules are made to be altered."

"No they made to shove up the stupid person's ass. Like that dumb ass little bitch that know I am talking about her and she reading this shit right now!"

"Huh?"

"Make sure and write it good. Add this too.....you lousy stinking fucking faker. You going to get what is coming to you. Ain't no faking when the Cake is baking bitch."

"Ha ha I like that line."

"The police like you but they don't know what to do. That car you be driving messes up they radar but they know you drive slow. You drive slow cause you want to roll!"

"Damn right!"

"They see you walking but they think you kind of a dream person. They see you walking but they don't know....besides that there no other place to walk."

"There's lots of places to walk here!"

"Not there....not for insomniacs either....you need to look more of a professional walker though and get cheesy sweats or something."

".....damn it."

"You go to some store you just felt like was important to go to in a real strange part of town that interests you....the lady there watches you but you never buy nothing."

"Why not?"

"You always saving it for somebody else cause after you go there some people feel like you know they clothes there so they go and get it!"

"Oh...."

"Then that lady at the place that be sick had some shit with your little brother in another dimension and that shit give her a headache but that lady over there ain't sick!"

"So how do they....."

"Die?"

"Yeah...."

"Well they six of them. If three die then they all die but it fucks with their head and makes it hurt a lot."

"......damn."

"Walmart only hire androids anyways..."

"Yeah that's true."

"They got some weird competitor that always somewhere close but it don't bother them and they only hire digital people."

"I hope I make it."

"....that dumb lady at that store think she know something but figures out she didn't know anything at all when she finds out from me she didn't know shit! She gets sued by six people for not giving them receipts and her lawyer ditches her....she has to go with some guy who gives them the money for it."

"Why is she like that?"

"She has a heart attack and dies."

"....Kelis...."

"Yeah....."

"Ouch."

"It take a while though....too long....that poor boy Stan has to marry some lady and he get stuck with some siblings or some shit....then they got some kids or some shit be driving him nuts!"

"....yeah...."

"Then that ugly little guy who was bitching starts to realize he did something stupid but it's no good....finally when he get out of there he dies too."

"How?"

"....some people eat him."

"So why was I there?"

"To meet Peanut Butter and the people in the back."

"And to see it get fucked?"

".....not really just to meet PB and those people."

"What is so important about PB?"

".....he a traitor and you need to see what he looks like."

"I don't have to see him again?"

"Nope....but he really want to be some man by some water you saw disappear."

"....strange....Jared wrote a passage in the back stating that the man was indeed a human."

"He had a pretty dog too."

"He said that too...the dog had a name and the dog was beautiful!"

"Hhhhmmm.....well you just forget about all that real soon too."

"Really?"

"Yeah Louis erases all the memories and lets you go back to books and libraries. He so happy you got your glasses....that dumb little bitch was going to try to take them away cause she is stupid....but they called the police on her about that too and the company who makes it sues her for two thousand dollars cause Louis signed some agreement stating you were their client that represents their integrity...that make somebody there giggle....he funny."

"Wow."

"She so dumb I think if somebody threw a brick at her it wouldn't matter. Then she calls herself stupid all the time but you don't like that. You actually kind of liked her but after a while you don't remember her anymore. Anyways that ain't anybody to you....she dies...."

"Nobody at all?"

"Well to me so no for you too. Peanut Butter makes her some kind of food but that just make her even more stupid."

"He cooks?"

"....he tries to learn because you told him it was important instead of paying money for food."

".......why does he dress like a girl?"

"Some people made fun of him when he was a kid about something being little."

"Mortals..."

"Yep....you got a wang dang!"

"You got to call it that?"

"Yes..."

".....I'm crimson!"

"That shit be long and crazy too! You such a dick Sunny!"

"I know."

"You be laughing about it! Scared to hurt it!"

"He's my friend!"

"He big. He be thick and big and moving everywhere. I hope you can control it there. Everybody know that why you got to wear long pants."

"So he used to be a boy?"

"Yeah but he got upset and went with the girl thing but them peoples he lives with don't even notice...they stupid."

"....oh...."

"He get a long record for drugs and fighting...he was snooping into yours and saw some shit about elderly people but when he went to your house and when he saw that you don't touch that dumb ugly lady is when he know you didn't do nothing...then it happens to him cause he was a real bitch about it thinking you was some kind of asshole. Trust me if you hit somebody they would be dead on arrival."

"That's true."

"All it takes is one punch."

"...."

"You told that lady not to touch you but it makes her really sick."

"Oh..."

"You politely asked the robot to touch your hand and it didn't make him sick or hurt him....he cried though cause you was so cold."

"Some people do that."

"....well he don't understand you froze yourself but if he do then he would know why you so cold."

"Oh."

"He don't forget you though. He got to go to man jail for six hundred human days and nights."

"..........wow."

"Remember I told you that. Whatever you do just keep to yourself and don't be fucking with that man and that woman they be thinking they hearing voices and be making people laugh when they tell them cause they know it you fucking with them."

"....how do I stop?"

"Just stop doing that or you going to get into trouble."

"......oh......"

"You start thinking that shit never ever going to end."

"What shit?"

"Everything....you really don't talk to nobody and you just read and write."

"Good..."

".....you worry a lot about shit."

"I can see why."

"A lot of people die."

"They always do..."

"Not that many....they just start burning them in they backyards and nobody give a damn."

"......."

"There comes a bad time when people act really tough and try to be so damn normal it makes them sick....that is a bad time for you....for all of us....especially Diesel....but he makes it."

"....why do they do that?"

"Cause they know..."

"I see."

"You going to see. Then that ugly lady she be laughing thinking she bad or something but she out the ballpark...."

"Who sees her die?"

"Stan."

"Good for him..."

"Why?"

"He told me he hated some lady so much that when she died he cried and cried and cried and ran away into some woods."

"......oh."

"He said she put him in jail for something he didn't do and he got into trouble like me and then he wears suspenders again and his favorite shoes."

"Damn."

"....so everything changes like that?"

"Yeah but it get real bad for them people in the house. They owe the tax people everything except some black blue ugly car....they owe them everything except what Dominique got."

"What does she have?"

"The house and a crazy robot refrigerator you digitized from the restaurant bakery."

"That's it?"

".....and some silver car but she sells it....."

"...oh..."

"Everything else is owned by your neighbors or church people..."

"Oh."

"Then that dumb lady finally figures out you a thousand times older than her and she has a mini heart attack."

"Well no shit."

"She was trying to make fun of your age like you a teenager but she saw you got grown children with grown children with little children and they all look just like you!"

"Yeah they do."

"And Zen but she knew your husband was a handsome guy.....she thought he was dead but she figures out you not so much alive. But that ugly little man still gives you trouble even if you don't notice just cause he stupid....but he pisses blood a lot."

"Why?"

".....he fucked Marsha."

"Ew."

"Marsha tries to find you....she remember you as a lady with eyeglasses and a chopstick in her hair....she not mad at you at all....but you still got to deal with assholes but you really don't notice them at all....the man who packs boxes he comes to your door when you gone funny enough he comes by your house and checks up on you but you like him so you don't care if he do that. You like him a lot and the neighbors wave at him and shit."

"Oh..."

"He like cats."

"Oh!"

"....he really interesting and got good health. Except he eat a lot of turkey sandwiches...."

"Turkeys are weird."

"Yeah but they clone those for food."

"Yeah they do and chickens and beef, and pigs...."

"And them rabbits and baby chickens..."

"Yeah..."

"Yuck. Artemis gets a motorcycle she has to fix up and it's as ugly as your bike."

"Cool."

"It something like what they call you in Russia when you were bad?"

"A Ninja."

"Yeah....she get it cheap too cause some man really likes her....he knows she something else."

"Cool."

"Avie stays with a roommate until they can't do that no more...then she comes back and starts thinking about you again....she get herself a lot of stuff to survive....she always carries a knife...."

"....hhhmmm...."

"She don't like those schools so she gets some normal looking job....but everybody start thinking she you after a while....she ain't in another dimension by then....she know you didn't give her away...she thinks it has something to do with scientists and how she so different..."

"Good."

".....Ziggy the last to find out."

"Damn."

"Zyna just trying to get into your dimension without trouble."

"Does it work?"

".....he went to jail when you had to go for the same shit.....except it had something to do with people who were more wrinkly....he there in and out....then you start to do it....then they just start getting in together....happens suddenly....he not hard to find...he very noticeable good looking guy....he is very good looking...and that dumb lady tries to comfort herself but she starts bleeding out her pants....fucking Marsha got her too....she had to be wired to her ass."

"Why was I there?"

"To meet Peanut Butter and to remember stuff....you didn't even notice those people were there....they don't get paid for the duration you was....something about owing the store money....when you came it changed everything and when you saw them people come in there looking for work you really liked them but they all got jobs right after. They don't remember where they saw you but they liked you a lot. That lady gets sued for overcharging people and she has to pay them back all that money through the store....they all take their business to somebody far away.....but he really nice and needed it.....he uses it to go on vacation....then he sees the triangle...he gone."

".....why was I there?"

"She talking shit to that man! He loses his temper a lot and he goes up there. The police go up there and that lady goes to jail.....then Peanut Butter goes up there and sucks up but that man got to go out of town and don't give a shit for a while. That camera in there gets disconnected by some guy who was Louis....that place is kind of done. She is a sniveling ugly digital person who gets fucked....but she gave that food you made to one of the ravens and they loved it! She didn't even eat any of it! Cause you told her it was trash but the raven knew that would fuck with her."

"That's what my mom did to some asshole."

"....she so stupid...."

"Why was PB there?"

"To meet you and so everybody could see he was a boy. So everybody could remember him for that shit....and how he got fucked over....cause he going to come back and everything will be better....he don't laugh at you....he laugh at that lady and that man....you told them he was upset about the way they act and he didn't lie about it when she asked....he don't laugh at you....he so scared when he think about the way people act....he don't laugh at you....he can't even smile. He just cries....a whole lot....he didn't know people could change stupidity."

"I did that?"

"No but you don't like stupidity. Marsha looking for you everywhere! She go nuts going to the library going to the bookstore like every day for weeks! She go to the health food store! She do all that stuff but don't get herself nothing. Finally she does though....you worry about her but she don't bother you so much after a while.....she real worried about you and she think of you as her only friend and her only confidant. She is very upset....she inside the dimension with you but you can't look for nobody....then Zyna finds her but he don't know that her until way later....then even that shiny man car guy sees her from a distance but he don't know.....your little furry person sure do eat a lot of almonds."

"...what is his name?"

"Dorian."

"Is he Russian?"

"Sure is..."

"Cool..."

"That lady trying to make fun of you but let's face it. The girl a super model and she twelve thousand years old. The girl a super model and she twelve thousand years old. The girl the first super model and not even a lacking one....even PB knew....she don't even tell nobody or throw it in your face....she just is....it ain't something to be bragging....it her job! Get over it! Then she see you one day at some fancy market and you even....well damn....I don't know about that though this is debatable cause I like you when you thicker....I don't know....you so sick of people like her that you don't really want to eat though...she make your stomach sick....some lady at that place threw up thinking about that lady and the kid PB."

"....what is a super model?"

"A super hero that walks the runway!"

"Oh shit!"

"Hell yeah Sunny!"

"....cool!"

"She sorry though just in general. That's about when she dies....that man is real sorry but he such a jerk....he just gives up and gets his ass eaten but he follows you around a lot....he follows you around a whole lot for a while...don't know why....he dies."

".....the boy shits out his growing glands after all that."

"He already start doing that while the monkeys be fucking with people."

"His face starts changing..."

"That robot cries about him not crying....Sunny don't cry unless something hurts him and the beepers...."

"Robots cry about everything!"

"...oh and that man goes back and yells at that stupid piggy PB for a while...then he finds some drugs on the table and calls the cops...."

"Then what?"

".....that stupid little man comes back to the store but that man is there waiting for him....he tells him that if he fucks with you that he will come again....that dumb ass guy had to fix some stairs you broke with your heavy stepping....the ladies and the guy laughed when it fell cause he was on top of it trying to be you. It just broke apart and it took him all night and he was so embarrassed that he was mad at you but it was all his fault and it broke his tail bone but he don't know until he go home and sits on something he stole then he just about shits his pants."

"....how do I know any of this happens?"

"You do and you don't care."

"....does that shit happen to all those people who fucked with those six hundred people?"

"Yeah just about."

"Damn!"

"....that robot is not very bright though....then that ugly guy you stay with gets arrested for trespassing....then that ugly lady gets arrested for trespassing...then that ugly lady gets arrested for trespassing....then somebody stupid has to pay for it....but you just there thinking about apples and grapefruit....just thinking about everything that happened....the only thing that bot understands and don't tell nobody except the goths is that you bathe in milk and wine. He understand that from Nadia and you triggered some kind of lapse into the other side....something having to do with a mountain."

"....why was I there again?"

"Oh come on Sunny. Every little thing amounts to a bigger experience. You can't stay in the same place forever....you would get bored."