Dread

Clyde and I reminisce treacherous adventures; a demolished powder coat sports utility vehicle, lost camper trailer, snowboards caught between tree trunks, tents floating away. My husband prepared a pitcher of freshly squeezed lemons with three bags of green tea.

"Where is he?"

"....with Avie."

"What are they doing?"

"....they needed to get away from me..."

"What happened?"

".....I don't know where my lavender bra is or my glasses..."

"Eyeglasses?"

"No my glasses I use to soak the lace..."

"Linen water?"

"Yes..."

"......I am ignoring the panties and lingerie."

"I am ignoring the cigars, platinum fang grill, and sports cars..."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"We can live like this."

"Yes we can."

Amethyst it's me Jes, Cordelia's physician, you know that by now, I figured out what is up with your eyes; you must stay out of blue spectrum light when closing your lids or else a natural reaction will swell over your lids and veins.

Jes, take care of my Ruby.

He told me to take care of you too.

We won't have this thing in Digiland.

I think they call it text messaging.

Some kind of teenage fad.

"....I see you can carry me now."

"How did this happen?"

"......I will get you for this."

"Do you carry her Cordie?"

"...I don't think she cares for it."

"....if you play that game once more I will scream..."

"Go ahead I got headphones."

"....nnnnaaahhh....aaaaahhhh....gggaaaaww...."

"Where are they!"

"That was me Thyst."

"...you tricked me."

"Are you offended?"

"........"

"..."

"If they were real I would never play a video game again."

"If they were real would you save me?"

"Yeah!"

"...what if I lived on a mountain?"

"Yeah!"

"...with a stormy motorcycle?"

"Yeah!"

"....really?"

"Yes."

"No matter what?"

"Yes."

".....just making sure."

"What happened to all the bosses?"

"I beat them."

"......mom!"

"...uh..."

"My mom beat all the bosses."

"....so you came back for more?"

"What store is this?"

".......didn't you make all these games?"

"Yeah..."

"You and your twin?"

"Damn berry people...smart as hell..."

"My favorite is the one with street ass kicking cartoon looking guys doing tricks and speaking bad sign language."

"....is that a compliment?"

"What if it was real?"

"It sort of is except I don't wear stuff like that..."

"It's not very fashionable."

"....no."

"What do you mean video games? You telling me inside this girl I am going to be dreaming about being inside video games? I thought I was going to have her body and...."

"Blah blah fuck you that's enough."

"Thad, you made me laugh!"

"....fucking shit."

Go ahead and wire her to your body. She will never get it. You have such complex organs and simple body functions, the projection will play along until she dies if she chooses thus. Go ahead and do it. I am your doctor. Do it girl. Do it good too.

"What did she say Thad?"

"....who the fuck knows."

"....replay it..."

"......and if she tries it I'm a going to kill her."

"How?"

".....she thinks you share the same heart."

"Everyone does if they have one..."

"Good point."

"They're laughing at you Sun."

"Diesel...who?"

"Some sick guy and his wife....the wrinkly one doesn't think it's funny...some asshole and his nurse laugh at them except for the wrinkly lady...they don't think she's funny and there is this little Jekyll that thinks you're an award from some rich people...I hate this dream man."

"What they laughing about?"

"...Island Girl..."

"Well?"

".....about you living for eternity."

"What's so funny about that?"

"...they don't know shit man."

"What's wrong with them?"

"....I don't know but your neighbors piss me off."

"What about them?"

"......fucking shit!"

"Where is Kevin?"

"...looking at some boy in a yearbook."

"What?"

"He thinks some girl is a fucking boy!"

"That does not make sense."

"It does."

"...explain."

"He thinks this boy in somebody's yearbook dresses up like a girl and uses some fantastic bra you designed to make boobs..."

"....why?"

".........look Sunny just because I am your dad does not mean I know shit."

"....I'm trying not to laugh."

"...people are mean Sun."

"I know they are..."

"The yearbook comes from some girl..."

"What was she doing there?"

"Bringing him weed what else?"

"....am I in the book?"

"No but some girl that looks like...well...huh...well..."

"You're no help..."

"....yeah yeah she's the Dead Girl."

"What?"

"Shit Sun! He saw that damn painting!"

"Which one?"

"The one you bleed tears and there's trees inside your forehead!"

"Does he know that's me?"

"I painted it."

"...you forgot the rest of it..."

"Kevin did that..."

"....he wouldn't let me see it."

"I didn't want to...I don't want to..."

"Neck only and face..."

"Whatever else is there we don't need to know about it."

"...what about that boy in the yearbook?"

"He's a girl!"

"...okay what about the girl in the yearbook Diesel?"

"She's a he Shorty!"

"God damn it."

"...Kevin thinks he is dreaming."

"Is he handsome?"

".....is that all you think about?"

"...well is he?"

"He's very handsome."

"....does he paint his nails black?"

"Yeah..."

"...uh huh."

"He found it."

"Found what?"

"The rest of the painting..."

"What's there?"

"...something he respects..."

".....is he a he?"

"Remarkably yes."

"What?"

"....."

".....Kevin smokes weed inside this weird thing you talk about?"

"Yeah but he stops for you."

"...is it really him?"

"Almost."

"What is he doing?"

"Bawling..."

"Why?"

"He remembers the name..."

"What name?"

"Something about computer enhanced people and bats without sensory perception..."

"Yeah?"

"She knows you're a bat."

"Who?"

"The Frog Lady."

"How?"

"...you look like a cute one..."

"Which ones?"

"The vampire ones! God damn which other ones?"

"....what about them?"

"She just comes in to check up on you..."

"What is she like?"

"...a beeper who chose to be elderly looking to piss people off..."

"What?"

"Oh shut up."

"Who?"

"Some coughing ugly fake motherfucker....."

"....god damn it."

"......he bought it."

"What?"

"...where is Jared?"

"......you know about him?"

"Yes..."

"...what is he?"

"A vampire what else?"

"......god damn it."

"I used to play video games with him."

"I like to piss people off."

"You're cheap too."

"....!...."

".....yeah she is...she's black and cheap...ha ha!"

"You're black too!"

"...yes but I'm expensive."

"Shut up."

"......she's so fucking cheap except when it comes to being a girl."

"...I need my pumps and heels."

"....and your lingerie..."

"And my mini..."

"I am too youthful to heart attack."

"Not really."

"...you will get this back."

"How?"

"....."

"...I always wanted to wear a lace mini dress with Gladiator heels....nothing underneath maybe a garter belt and g-string..."

"...what the fuck is a g-string?"

"Clyde made it up."

"What the fuck is it?"

"It's a gangster thong."

"What makes it gangster?"

"I wear it."

"...he's grounded."

"You can't do that."

"He's Kevin's sister!"

"....oh yeah."

"...fuck!"

"You have only one son."

"I have a son and a daughter..."

"Which is which?"

"...one of them...he...aw fuck it."

"Anyways Clyde said that only gangster girls from Jamaica wear g-strings..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Whose turn is it to talk now?"

"....I don't know...."

"As long as you wear a holster around your jiggly....your wiggly...."

"...I hope they don't wiggle too much..."

"I need to get those firm and it's going to hurt...but that needs to pack hearty top."

"What you talking about Marsha?"

"George you just do what I tell you to do with Avitas."

"....well alright then..."

".......no.....no....Amethyst...I need to speak with your....Lucid....Milk....god damn it."

"....as long as you don't have white hair."

"What if I do?"

"...I will have a few too."

"....I think I just grew one thinking about boobs."

"......"

"As long as you wear a bra underneath that..."

"....no."

"Why not?"

"To piss people off!"

".....god damn it."

"What?"

"Your mom did it."

"......well okay then."

".....how did you do that?"

"What?"

"....Sun...."

"What?"

"....okay so you like high heeled shoes and hide your girliness..."

"Is that a word?"

"It is now."

"Webster was Jesus."

"Oh shut the fuck up!"

"Did you meet him?"

"I did."

"....and?"

"He told me to tell you to defy gravity."

"How?"

"Be a feather."

"....wow...."

"....bad dream bad dream bad dream bad dream!"

"What?"

"....what is he a spy or something?"

"What does Kevinya think of the situation?"

"He knows what it is...he knows...he knows very well..."

"How?"

"....you can't hide it anymore."

"What?"

"Well go ahead and piss everybody off."

"Uh huh..."

"Good girl."

"....okay...."

"She wants to hang upside down but the people there suck."

"Enoch told me it's good for my brain."

"She eats a lot of Dumb Fish."

"Why do they call them that?"

"....those damn things are the dumbest fuckers on the planet."

"What will it do to me if I eat it all the meals I live?"

"What do you think?"

"Does she think?"

"No."

"Nadia feeds it to me straight when she wants me to do stuff without complaining."

"That's what I do too!"

"...."

"Vigilant isn't it?"

"...."

"Well anyways it's good for you."

"Amethyst doesn't eat it."

"She's smarter than you."

"She fed it to me when I was a baby?"

"....she wants you to be meatier and heartier than a bodyguard."

"....why doesn't she eat it?"

"........do you really want to know...."

"I asked, yes."

"She doesn't want the omega."

"Why?"

"....mortals..."

"What of them?"

"....something about us waiting for their understanding...freaking bald guy with pointy ears always talking about things being all peaceful and happy...freaking pothead."

"Uh..."

"He told me to tell you not to wait for their cries."

"...why did he have a sword?"

"Well Enoch said there was a bunch of weird looking bastards walking around but I didn't see those motherfuckers...."

"That's cause he carried a sword!"

"Oh...that does make sense...anyways it looked like a fish hook or some shit like that...made out of silver and jewels...fancy damn thing..."

"...did he really wear a robe?"

"Yeah!"

"Why?"

".....well he was always bathing in some rainbow water......."

"It was real water?"

"Yeah..."

"What was he doing that for?"

"....to look shiny. He had a bald head Sunny!"

"Fuck asking you people is like banging my head against a brick."

"...well don't do it too hard."

"Funny..."

"He was a teacher too."

"What did he teach?"

"Whatever you learned..."

"....did he wear sunglasses?"

"He invented those damn things..."

"I love him."

"......you're a little shit you know that!"

"I do know that."

"....no I did not see those."

"See what?"

"You look so excited."

"...oooh."

"She is a little bat with purple wings that pisses people off."

"What are Doberman Pincers like?"

"....they're fast and god damn snappy..."

"Varushna had a lot of them..."

"......"

"What about you?"

"I like cats."

"Where is Andain?"

"...uh..."

"He ate my tuna again."

"......"

".....that's fine."

"It is?"

"He's a dog."

"I hate to break it to you but he's not a dog."

"....he is a dog."

"No he is not."

"Look...that's how I deal with this!"

"...he says me a lot."

"....yes he does."

"That boy is weird."

"..."

"They don't know how much morphine you used to..."

"....the doctor at the hospital still asks me..."

"The red needles..."

"....he said they would always give it to me."

"They will."

"Why?"

"....they know how you feel."

"Is it addictive?"

"Not as much as pain."

"You're right."

".......I'm watching you fade away....you have track marks all over your right under arm."

"What is that?"

"Big blue blood clots in the crease."

"...why did I do it?"

".......it was free too."

"......they do it with me."

"I know they do."

"....it takes so much."

"It's the most powerful opiate on earth besides the milk..."

"....she killed that strain...."

"They both did."

"....why is it in a vial?"

"They give you that liquid smoke."

"What is it?"

"Pure fucking dope."

"Who do they normally..."

"...nobody..."

"...."

"They made it for you and her."

"...."

"They do it too though. All those people who go there...they have to see it and deal with it..."

"Sometimes I know what it feels like to be them."

"I know you do."

"....my arm hurts from pricking and numbness...."

"You always put your hand over it when you get nervous............you get the black lid."

"That's what they call it...black pop."

"It has a nipple ring."

"....with a mercury center."

"Those needles are crazy."

"...they're made out of aluminum alloy."

"Completely..."

"Yeah..."

"What is that shit?"

"....the stuff we use to clean the spot?"

"Yeah..."

"....some kind of mixture between zinc and oxide..."

"...I used to drink the milk with your mom."

"Really?"

"Yeah..."

"What did it taste like?"

"....nothing really...it's a weird ivory color."

"I saw it..."

"...people used to look at her like..."

"I got rid of them."

"...yeah."

"What is heroin?"

"...black tar isolate made from crude oil."

"...it's brown..."

"I saw that too. It looks like shit."

"Probably is..."

"Yeah..."

"I would never do that..."

"No you wouldn't..."

"......the cops won't touch morphine."

"...not the black pop no..."

"Why not?"

"It's technically legal."

"....yeah..."

"........you and doctors..."

"The nurses too."

"They always wait for you."

"They never tend to me."

"They don't know how to..."

"They are great comfort..."

"....yeah because they know your pain is not physical..."

".......uh huh..."

"...hhhmmm..."

"What?"

"He just spewed blood out of his lip."

"Who?"

"Some guy who has some kind of disease..."

"Is it that cold sore one?"

"No it's not that...it's bad...she has puss on her sleeve..."

"What are they?"

"....yeah his bike is god damn ugly. I look at it every day...every night...he talks to it...yeah it's fast and no he does not have brakes. He took it off...he thought they were strings...something about packaging....I caught you though before you flew into the laundromat basket..."

"I was wondering why it didn't stop."

"Now you know...that bike is so fucking fast...I say to use it for two block spurts and to smash shit...just fly fast into shit and break it down good..."

"...yeah but it's so ugly..."

".....yeah he does look like that....he eats embalming paste..."

"What?"

"God damn...it is a fake everything especially the name...it's obvious...the age...everything..."

"...."

"It works who gives a damn."

"...."

".......she noticed it too and processed it anyways...it works...it's just a fucking series of numbers...they all noticed that dumb shit...especially the name..."

"...."

"........man that age is going to get you girl..."

"It's just a number..."

"No it's not."

"What?"

"......Sun when you been alive as long as I think I have..."

"Don't make me laugh!"

"That boy thought you were a...."

"A what?"

"...nothing."

"What?"

"...nothing."

"What?"

"....what are those!"

"You better not have white hair."

"..............Narco you rock back and forth some moments...you fall in and out of sleep."

"...yeah..."

"They call him Lepsy."

"Yeah."

"....they don't know what they are because they don't know about the trigger..."

"You told me about that..."

"....they act like that because they are so fucked up."

"Really?"

"They are too fucked up Sun. Always trying so hard to act nice and friendly...they don't know shit about being human. You're real..."

"Yeah."

"Everybody knows they are not blood of yours and they know they are mortal..."

"Okay."

"That happened to him too."

"Him?"

"....Pointy."

"Pointy?"

"Yeah..."

"Oh..."

"Do me a favor..."

"What?"

"Write down this shit to confuse people and make them go brain dead."

"....I need zombies Diesel."

"They know you agreed to it to save your family and us..."

"....to what?"

"....she sleep walks...."

"Huh?"

"....you got to hide what you love the most."

"..........yeah what about him?"

"He had to do the same."

"He had a sister too?"

"Yeah..."

"What did they call her?"

"....Satan."

"Cool."

".........that's another story. Go to sleep girl."

"...okay..."

"They go through it with you."

"Who?"

"The neighbors...and some boy..."

"What boy?"

"Peanut!"

"....Kevin forgets things a lot."

"Great."

"....his neck hurts from some couch..."

"......."

"...everybody knows who he is by the way he looks..."

"Diesel he's gorgeous."

".........is that why?"

"Yes."

"Really?'

"Diesel he is drop dead gorgeous."

"....really?"

"Yes!"

"....oh."

"He's unbelievably handsome and good looking...amongst being my loveliest friend he is my Beau without deadliness."

"....no being married in England and being married in fuck you country is different."

".....yeah....."

"It's not legal here..."

"........"

"Do me a favor Sun."

"What?"

"Marry Kevin here."

"What?"

"Yeah and make it a big fucking huge ordeal."

"What?"

"....wear some elaborate black dress....."

"I can do that."

"....do it in front of a Satanic priest...."

"....okay."

".........that will make me happy."

"What about the honeymoon?"

"Huh?"

"Well?"

"No..."

"Damn."

"Ha ha..."

"...."

"No she's been to jail for stupider things than that...you kidding me...except for once..."

".....I didn't mean to do that."

"....how did you get the Sheriff and the judge to sit in there with you?"

"....they were talking to me about how it was reasonable and locked ourselves inside."

"....a bobby would never do that."

"Bobbies like me."

"....except when you drop their pants."

"......."

"No she would never hit anybody unless they really fucking deserved it."

"Or unless I want to fight."

"They like to slice her across her stomach."

"If they ever cut my face..."

"No we don't do that."

"That's Jamaica and England..."

"That's just how it is..."

"I'm tired of it."

"...I disemboweled somebody once."

"....whoa."

"..."

"Yeah I..."

"...."

"Why do we do that?"

".....Dumb Fish. I gave her that knife."

"....it reminds me of their eyes..."

"They killed that cat you broke sequence to bury Sun."

"I'll remember that..."

"....that cat could not handle their hatred..."

"What happened to her?"

".......they tried to treat her like a queen and give her rich food but when she saw what they were doing to the people she died from pain..."

"I will bury her..."

"....you bury your own."

"...."

"That bloody one you found was eaten by an Angler..."

"What?"

"....she'll come back...."

"...."

"They both will. The Queen of The Dead is a girl with curly hair and chocolate eyes..."

".....how do I find her?"

"In his mouth."

"Who?"

"....a traitor..."

"How?"

"He accepts food from them."

"....what if I feed him?"

"He will eat it."

"What if I stop?"

"....he will go to the snake..."

"What snake?"

"The snake you see when the wires break in and out..."

"What about her?"

"She's cast out by the other snakes because she doesn't want to kill the turtles for territory.."

"...how do I..."

"She watches you walk."

"What does she eat?"

"...fish!"

"............what kind of snake?"

"A fucking seriously poisonous one..."

"...oh."

"She has a crush on you."

"Oh!"

"...Zen is jealous..."

"No!"

"...that was him..."

"Who?"

"The boy!"

"Who?"

"Some guy who disappears from your eyes..."

"What was he doing?"

"Walking a red haired collie dog..."

"What happened to him?"

"....he remembers that..."

"Remembers what?"

"......her....."

"Who?"

"The fat lady."

"....strange..."

"......she thought she would appear as you but that's not how it works in Digifuck."

"Where?"

"Nothing Sun...but he got screwed by her..."

"How?"

".....same as you."

".....oh."

"He goes along with it. You don't know who he is but you remember what that man looked like..."

"....will it match up?"

"......there are a lot of paintings of you Victoria."

"....."

"There are photographs too."

"....they see them?"

"Yes."

"....okay!"

"....nice shirt Sun!"

"........will I ever see Kevinya?"

"If you do you better marry him."

"I will."

"Anyways go to sleep...I bid you rest before awakening dread..."

"Dread?"

"When you wake up you will be there."