Remember Me

Enamored by emotion we do not know what happens, blue amber formed. Cannot go back to the land of ice for another glacier, our former, by now we must be water flowing into ever lasting ocean; optimism for a mad man.

Damn who is that woman? She is my attention I cannot stop giving. The gift is mine as well.

Pacing a sphere outside circle of attachment, I am losing knowledge; I know not what will be me without them, death I never wanted, death of the self itself.

Must this end, being inside is what I desire, I know not where I am when I am with her, at least inside she can navigate.

Children run about; I know not what a dream consists, I am confused.

"Who was your first time?"

Subways must of been forged by the same man, concrete, conversations, wires, steel railings, tin foil rectangles, graffiti slang, benches, ties, hooded jackets, bubble goose puff, bandannas, moldy potpourri, five o'clock shadow, pantyhose running, coughing, cigarette stinking, sniffling, sneezing, sleeping, dozing, wheezing, hanging, wobbling, weaving, steaming, uniform precision.

"Katarzyna....."

I must of been one of them, I must of been dozing off this last ride for the night as the man with uniform badge nudges my hood for my goose I sneeze potpourri on the bench I am hanging with precision while breathing stale moldy stinks near five o'clock in the shadows wires of concrete amongst steel bridges look better when I exit the tin foil thing while the lady adjusts her pantyhose it runs as he coughs she wheezes the trains steam rectangles to weave to wobble the conversation might be over as I pass through graffiti slang a tie walks by sneering at the bandanna I swear it was the same man.

"Tell me her name again...."

"Whose name?"

"The girl you lost your virginity...."

"I got it back."

"How did you do that?"

I handed her my tag.

"3796579?"

"That used to be me....."

"New Orleans.....what's that word?"

"Don't worry about that just give it to the man."

"You sure you want me to give this to the man?"

"Yes....."

Damn who was that fine woman.....damn so fine I just ran into a column with a poster The End is Nearer, I cursed at it with a rip of my fist which angers a mob of book riders.

These people are actually chasing me, I had it with religion, my bubble is popping up air as I am dodging black dressy shorts, white dressy short sleeve button ups, pocket protectors, bow ties with bowling shoes on bicycles; hiding inside the Brooklyn basement, the smell is evident, this is where the man is not invited, this is when the man comes after me.

"What you doing here, you bring us one of those things?"

"No....."

"You hiding eh?"

"Yeah....."

"You look horny man. Better get yourself that lady before you miss."

"Already missed......"

"Damn!"

Slipping out the back a bodega in white frozen rain, the girl at the counter hands me a silver ring.

"You forgot her again....."

Damn I am going to be late!

Running to catch the driver, an empty black car rolls away, wonder who he is taking, maybe he got tired of waiting, maybe I will find another way, I am so tired, out of transit maps for this place, out of women to board me, out of excuses for their questions, out of places to stay.

"Whatchya mean you don't know what that is? When I point in between your legs you mean to tell me you don't know what I am getting at?"

Damn I am late.

Just another mouthful of words I cannot understand, maybe I am not thinking hard enough, maybe my headache is not good enough, my ears ringing sore for the train.

"I got to go I am going to be late."

"You already late, you too late, you been late, you been excuses, you been there, you been here, you better go home."

"Where is that?"

"Wherever the women take you."

"Which ones are they?"

"The ones you been running from...."

"You mean...."

"Yeah they going to get your ass one way or another. You out of places to stay."

That confirms my worst case scenario; I missed the damn train.

"What was her name again?"

"Katarzyna...."

"What does her name mean?"

"For Him...."

"What does your name mean?"

"For the King...."

"Are you a queen?"

"Why do you ask?"

"That's where we stopping at...."

Stepping off the train, no metal plate for me to grip Ipath, my foot trapped in between the slip of orange grease, damn I be a man for stupidity, damn I be a woman for shoes to get the best of me, damn I am not worried about being late this time, I am somebody's meat.

"There he is! That's the boy that did me wrong! Telling me he got nothing between his legs!"

Better instinct grabs me by the wrist, pulls me from the dip, free like a kite without wind, there I go again.

"You see there he go again!"

Watching my hand chunk the low fly of Red Monkey jeans making sure she noticed there is nothing going on between these legs.

"Hey boy your ass looks better than chow mein!"

"My ass is not a bunch of noodles for you to take home!"

"Girl you need to watch that thing!"

Off is the light switch to her bedroom; I decided to sleep in her velvet sheets.

"Take off all that you know it's hot in here."

"Alright...."

"I won't hurt you baby...."

Damn I am fucked now.

"You still got a lot of clothes on your body."

"It's not that hot in here."

Jeans hanging off my ankles with my goose on the make up chair I thought her hand was a construction probe that fell off the subway rail.

Jogging out the buzz brick holding onto the waist strip a corner vendor hands me a belt.

"This is free but next time you better be aware of the hand before she gets the second on the minute you be wishing you was dead."

Taxi stops to window talk; I keep walking a proud cowardly lion, I drop my paws into the ground.

"Get up boy! You can't let the city get you down! City full of women that's all! No reason for you to lose it now! You got to keep moving on to your destination before they get you!"

Woman in a suit pays for my fare.

"I want to take you somewhere."

"As long as I get to keep my clothes...."

"You can keep your clothes I just want your hair."

All in the fingers a set of curls unwinds; I think I am dying or I might already be dead.

"They after you honey?"

I taste like vinegar instead.

Side of the street feels decent since the ride hurt my legs; cannot sit still for a moment thinking about the moment she left.

"What was her name again?"

"Who?"

"You know who I'm talking about. The one for you...."

"The one I lost my virginity?"

"I thought you got it back!"

"Katarzyna...."

"Where is she?"

"Find her for me."

"What does she look like?"

"A cherry blossom tree...."

"What about your wife?"

"I'm married?"

"Yeah they tell me you said she is damn fine."

"I want to meet her some day."

"Maybe she don't like you no more."

"Why is that?"

"You not the smartest man I met."

Bus must of angered with us as I trip out the emergency door into the alley I catch a woman with a rose in her hand.

"This is for you."

"I'm allergic....."

Squeaking louder than rats hunting for milk I catch my breath in a politician's house.

"Will you pretend to be my boyfriend?"

"Why do you want me to do that?"

"Just to make him mad."

"He's going to think I'm dirty."

"That's not all...."

"He's going to think I'm bad."

"You're really a sweetheart; I want you to sleep in my bed."

"Where will you sleep?"

"Next to you.....hold me until the sun takes you away...."

Huffing and puffing I thought the house fell down.

Next to me is a pajama party with blonde hairs tickling my neck; she feels good, she feels soft, she feels like I never want to leave.

"I must be dreaming...."

"Me too...."

"Girls keep getting mad at me for something between my legs."

"I'm not mad at you about that."

Something hard is growing not sure how it came, alright with her, alright with me, something hard up against my chest.....

"Do you feel that?"

"Yeah...."

"Must of been something I ate."

Put a blanket over the sun I get to hold her some more; she turns around catching my trick.

"You got to go...."

"I know...."

"I want you to stay."

"Me too...."

"I like what's in between your legs."

"I'm not sure what that is; I hope I find out some day."

"You better go...."

"No I want to stay...."

"Okay...."

Looking at her is not enough, I must be dying, her eyes were some kind of painted color, her nose made the hard thing again.

"Do you feel that?"

"You better go...."

Fell asleep instead; woke up in a room somewhere, woman's voice told me I hurt my head.

"What's wrong with it?"

"Your'e bleeding a bit."

"I'm sure it will go away."

"Maybe....must of been something you ate."

Saw a vase on the desk where her voice sounded, roses make me sick, got up with some string thing flying off my head.

"It's a mummy!"

"Hey man you dead?"

Running a champion off the track I got caught in a dead end; sign reads nowhere to go, better stop before I bleed again.

Cherry blossoms falling leaves, flowers carrying the wind, branches snapping, butterflies losing wings, there she is.....

"What's her name again?"

"Katarzyna...."

"I found her....she's sick."

Laying with my head on her pillow she bleeds for me in red; crying on her pillow my tears fall on the side of the bed.

"Is it raining?"

"It's just me...."

"Take me out of this place...."

"Where will we go?"

"Somewhere we can rest."

Her body is my arms, we hide away; cemeteries full of people, welcome to stay.