Grits

"This is interesting...."

"Yes what do you call it?"

"Grits.....the shit they feed you in the big house."

"What's the big house?"

"You don't want to find out."

"I fear we will out of morbid curiosity."

"The same morbid curiosity that led us to you."

"I spent a while in there. Lots of those things in there too. I ate all their grits. It's the only way I survived. If you go there just make sure and eat grits."

We feast upon petrified corn meal which doth resemble granulated bones; our host's appetite is astray. We share one bowl of decomposition. Coconut water and grits is warm; we do not interest flavor, we sublime experience. He scoops his amount, touch of treacle, cinnamon stick sprinkles; we give him our apples.

"Been a long time since I ate these...."

Smooth liquid crunch transcends him into a child; thus our pleasure. He entertains sweetness for a moment.

"You will never go there again."

"Never again...."

His demeanor exasperates our energy; a light bulb shatters for an unseen world.

"My fear is that you will even if it is like a bad dream."

"Is this a dream?"

"We are unsure...."

"This is the first time I am awake."

"We fear you will sleep. We think we sleep; dreams evade our rest. We always dream and that's how we know we are awake. When one sleeps they do not dream never to awaken again."

"That must be why we compare death to sleeping."

"We are not sure what death is except for the process the body goes through. We are not sure if anybody experiences finality of being."

"You dream every moment?"

"We don't know the difference."

"Do you dream about being other people?"

"Yes sometimes we are other people."

"Then you do not dream you are them; you are them."

"Yes but they exist of dreams. We somehow do not."

"Am I part of your dreams?"

"You will be...."

"Enjoy the ride!"

While we wash an empty dish tears cloud our eyes; an eternal moment will separate us, confusion desires our disillusion. We forget existence journeying into a den shelving National Geographic magazines. Words of indifference battle adjectives while adverbs curse people contributing the situation; definitions do not arise. Water ducts spill from fallen stars.

"They will attempt to make us believe none of this is real. They will send us on a chase for what we know and we will discover disappointment."

"Will we remember this conversation?"

"I do not know."

"We will no longer chase from the disappointment which comes. They will create a scenario with the intention of playing a mindless god of deception."

"They will be able to predict what our minds wish to do from information gathered through our brainwashing process."

"What if we do the opposite?"

"They will expect a conditioned response mechanism."

"What if we do other than the other while being the same?"

"They will be confused."

"They are already confused; that is why they can only contribute confusion."

"Why is it they desire to know how we act and think?"

"Maybe they do not know how to act or think; they do not want to do that for their own self anymore so they desire us to do so for them."

"Eventually will defeat itself entirely."

"We cannot live in memories."

"We cannot die in memories."

"We will prefer memories over the existence they will desperately bid us."

"They will try to replace our memories over and over again with whatever they choose."

"We will forget what they implicate."

"We will replace the implication with our memories."

"That will be our guiding information."

"Yes but they must be with a secret weapon of betrayal."

"This being those young women."

"The voices in the cellar. Yes they will use them as confrontation and since we understand each other, they will try to manipulate the situation."

"The young women are not aware they are in the same position yet not subject to the science project we experienced."

"Rather they infiltrated their mental status and faith with disintegration."

"We must find them......now."

Our bare feet slide across the polished floor to our host; he sits upon his bed with a page open across his fingers resembling a peace sign, between the lines is a pyramid.

"That's where it is at...."

"Whatever do you mean Sir?"

"Yes please tell us what brought forth your conclusion?"

"3796579 reminds me of architects; easy number to remember for building things."

The mind reels images of a world we desire not to encounter; we must jump into the spiral. If we cannot break the cycle we will be caught inside misfire; we stir internal convulsions.

"Don't worry too much about it, just a thought that's all. Listen I want you to know you are always welcome here and I will always be here. Don't worry about things in cocoons. Don't worry about things. You can eat all the grits. I don't need grits anymore. I need some other kind of food. That's what I been looking for, some other kind of food.....some kind of food that doesn't make me hungry. I don't want to be hungry and I don't want to eat. I just want....."

"Nourishment...."

"That is all I ever wanted. I would never need to eat. I would not need to rest. Eating is exhaustive. I just want to stay awake. I don't want to fight for survival. I been fighting; I am done fighting. I am done eating."

"That is our desire as well."

We watch him closely; he disappears from perception. We no longer contemplate rationalization for how we come and how we go.

Food hurts our bellies; the pain is similar to bruising and beating from torture. Hunger is disobedience; we convince ourselves the need for food. Insensitivity is a thin film of honey we balance upon; if we desire sweetness we must dive into the fathomless.