X-Ray

I contemplate possible experience unlikely of me as I walk by eleven people stacking dried hay useless for stables, moldy furnace wood, slabbed stove grease, resonated machine oil gunk, non recyclable papers and toiletries; I watch a hazy moment, they curse protest and dismay. This is an outer region of a peculiar town competing business merchants' modern adaptation; I stay as witness however upon release of oblivious notion I am searching for my own.

"...why did he have to......."

"God damn son of a fucking bitch!"

"....wish he was never born..."

"Hope nobody acts like him again."

"Hate his fucking name!"

"Piece of shit motherfucker."

"Took us long enough..."

"Should of done this a long time ago."

".....god damn......never want anybody to go through what we did."

Betrayed spirits amongst lost souls dream my approach.

"We want you to light it."

I agree; garbage must be disposed immediately; I wonder whom they speak.

Pookah is frozen silence for Diesel's seat inside the proposed jail cell, ingredients of which consists; torn fencing polished steel posts, concrete cinder blocks, plywood walls. She commits to the predestined tribulation, I cry a hundred and two tears, I hate to see their suffering, tis my own. Mighty and Mookie agree the likeness of such is credible sadly lamenting the emotion as do I; we wonder if freedom exists.

"I'll miss you my Lion; I miss you right now while I'm sitting.....here."

Uncle Baxter writes a series of possible contraptions relative to doomsday for unavailable physicality however his left hand quakes acknowledgement; he shakes his head eight left to right before settling concentration, he will dissect a ghostly nightmare.

"Clyde is that you?"

"Catilda, you must remember; you must!"

"What are we doing here?"

"This place is dread, bog of London spit."

"Clyde will you remember me?"

"Catilda, I give my dreams to you."

"Bloody shit!"

"Your head aches."

"Yours is mine."

"I'm going to lose my god damn arm."

"Why?"

"The fucking....I'm a traitor."

"Whom?"

"Mankind. You. Every being of this damned planet."

"I don't feel well."

"....cut the bloody appendage clean off."

"Who would do such?"

"Me."

"I don't want to remember this."

"Should throw them off for a while at least."

"?"

"God damn fat fuckers."

"My twin and I discussed a clothing store....maybe twas a dream."

"I'll add it before I hack the fucker."

"Boards....bmx....things of such nature...."

"....bloody confusing as hell...."

"Yes."

"I will be the only one except for them....""

"What?"

"Pink Tails."

"Mice....."

".....Victoria I adore you."

"I adore you."

"I do not know what becomes of me without you."

"I as well."

Quite literally indeed.

Mookie recreates sounds for precognitive response mechanisms for environmental sense; my madness denies itself.

"Nicodemus what if we lose our minds?"

"Been there before; they came."

"?"

"Yours."

"How did you feel?"

"Confused and delusional, alone, sorrowful, sad, inexplicably angry, zealous, intentional, depressed, dismayed, distressed, stressed, emotional, sensitive, lost."

"When did you stop?"

"I found a blue rock."

"We are unable to completely enjoy a moment with ours from....."

"Worry, contemplation, torturous anticipation?"

"Yes."

".....yes....."

"....."

"What to do until the moment?"

"....."

"Enjoy each moment; these will be your clarity."

"What of you?"

"I sleep until you awaken."

"What if we do not?"

"....."

"?"

"I cannot control myself."

Nicodemus is an infuriated seeker of justice whether or not; the world will end regardless. Such is not a scriptural frantic media population scramble; such is inevitable logic of an earth without humanity.

"My dog's there."

"Who cares for him?"

"Her name's Ruby....she's got room to do whatever."

"It's her house?"

"She doesn't go inside. She's waiting for somebody."

"?"

"Sharla..."

"What if she never comes?"

"Never say never Victoria."

"Why?"

"Never ain't going to happen. There's only forever."

"How do you know?"

"If there was a never we wouldn't be here!"

Thaddeus stacks four printed flashcards representing each band of possible frequency; he asks of me to choose, every other will be filled by graphical synthesized illusion yet to be programmed.

"I'm waiting for the fat people."

Nourishment, formation, flesh sensation, harmonic tendencies; Thad is unable to explain each, neither can Chester or David, Stephanie interjects obvious connotation however I am indifferent to all except one, flesh.

Momma, there is a cat here, I named her Cordelia, she sleeps next to my ankles, I want her to come with me wherever I dream.

A bizarre scribble of ugly antics lays crumbling by static breakage of what appears to be a lamp post. The words are illogical forgery; nice, not what it looks like, good guy, school, good grades, scratched through name - George, fake signature of an unknown entity.

George, what does the damned house look like and where will it be? Who will be there? Why are you doing this to my daughter? Do you understand anything? Will you ever go away?

I can not write good. It's gray. Close by to a tree. Some ugly lady and little thing. I am not smart. I hate Jesus. I wish I was dead. Can you kill me?

George, what is a little thing? No I shall not kill you.

It moves orange. I hate every.

George, where will you be?

The house you gave me.

George, the bank loaned you money for the house.

I forget. I got no back teeth. My head spins. My ass got scabs. She got no green happy thing.

George, what is a green happy thing?

Cat is nice.

A man shuffles blue clothing, desperate hand drops a comb, hair falls gray from balding scrapes; he speaks of god.

"How did you do that?"

"Pardon?"

"That's the reddest damned fire I ever saw."

".....?....."

"It's for him."

"His name is Charles, I hate saying that....god damn...."

"?"

"We'll tell you....."

"May I speak with him?"

"Make it quick!"

Catrixenya's fragrance dreams into me, trouble of an unknown world is absence of bad habitation foreseen by a ghost watching my travel, I call her Memory.

"Without your flesh....."

"You won't remember anything."

"Baxter! What of dreams?"

"Light and sound Twins! I fear for you to be lost in between!"

"Leave me a trail!"

"What if you are not yourself?"

"I will no matter what."

"As you wish; as you wish!"

"Wire her to you?"

"Wire us each except for the other half."

"Their twins?"

"Ours as well."

"I understand."

"Wire their chemical reaction."

"You're going to do what they want?"

"We are actors and gentlemen."

"We know each character they made up."

"Let us wear then replace."

"They want all of you."

"All of the symbiotic...."

"Yeah those things."

"Miserable."

"For them but not for you."

"How? We dream of them."

"You are not them."

"I wonder...."

"I'm a spiritual man!"

"....."

"I will go to heaven!"

"....."

"Why don't you say anything?"

"You are burning."

"Name him after me."

"Whom do you speak?"

"....."

"Why don't you say anything?"

"I am an evangelist!"

"How did you?"

"Pamphlets, tracts, sermons, giving money to poor people, I feel bad for the poor people, I feel bad for people without god, possessed people with demons inside of them...."

"....."

"Name him after me!"

"?"

"I am going to see god."

"Do you see one now?"

"I see fire."

"Oh....."

"My wife is young!"

"?"

"Her name is Young!"

"?"

"She does with me!"

"....."

"Her mother is Bok!"

Bok - alchemists and Wiccan interpreters conclude Bok to be a flesh brew of oil residue, crude is suspected however cooking contaminants from fryers is speculated

"Interesting...."

"My brother is Benjamin and his wife Rebekkah! They have a child!"

"What is his name?"

"Nathaniel!"

Benjamin - barren man, fate of gambling funds for impermanence, boastful appearance of materialism

Rebekkah - barren woman, fate of adulterous murder by her partner, boastful appearance of materialism

Nathaniel - unwanted child, boisterous presence, youthful suicide

"Shut up!"

"Wonder what they did with those other bastards."

"I miss my girlfriend."

"The blonde handsome one?"

"She is here?"

"She's on the other side, I'll take you there, stay with me for dinner, I like you so much."

"What of this person's mother in law, the brother and such?"

"I don't know. We shall find out."

Zen's beauty dreams into my heart for wordless pages of awe; I turn to the woman.

"You are madly in love."

"My chocolate....."

"My strawberry....."

"This woman.....they called her Young.....her skin is gone."

"There was a man named Charles; he is burnt."

"I wish you forever."

"Madam, were they really married?"

"He was much older...some kind of sergeant."

"What of her?"

"They say she was a foreigner....whatever!"

Artisan thyme red pepper flat bread, fresh orange slices, mineral water, three silent visitors, I, Catrixenya, we address the woman as Nina; she excuses herself for a bowl, prepared lettuce and sweet onion.

Nina - calm after a ferocious storm, peaceful serenity of love, she bids eternal lovers, she is the vengeance of their grief, hearty laughter, gourmet naturalist, lovely personality, host of nourishing meals, spectacular descriptive words, child like woman

"They are in love."

"Do they hear us speaking?"

"What do they chat?"

"Milk and kisses....."

"I would hate to see them apart."

"We will get their enemies."

"What if we are gone?"

"We will come back."

"What of them?"

"They stay."

"I see."

"Their eyes are one."

"They are one."

"Nothing will change such."

"Not even god damn Charles."

"Or Young."

"What about the other ones?"

"They killed one another."

"What about that little thing?"

"The little orange thing...."

"He drowned."

"Where?"

"Bath tub."

"They are adorable."

"We shall keep them."

"They are ours."

"You are ours as well."

"He heard us!"

"We adore you."

"She heard us too!"

"I will tell you about them. Our visitors shall clean up."

"We are worried."

"I know; I worry for you to be separated."

I look into forever; her eyes are Neptune blue.

"You won't be able to control yourself Victoria without....."

"I won't be there."

"Wired to them you'll feel everything!"

"....."

"We trusted them at first."

"I miss you Leo! You will always be my lion."

"What are you doing inside of there Pook?"

"I killed an elderly woman."

"Why?"

"She was going to hurt you."

"How?"

"She was going to break into your house with that motherfucker Dustin."

Dustin - filthy intention

"What's her name?"

"Francis."

Francis - greedy motivation

"How many Francs lad?"

"None."

"?"

"I don't care for the name."

"Sure is dusty in here."

"What does that mean?"

"Filthy."

Whose child is this I assume pictures strewn about the house of actresses might implicate birth unknown to my flesh, what distortion for calendar modules, she eats a lot of hamburgers, fries, and tacos; her weight piles reconstructed matter remodeling a bathroom. They call her Sharla, many misspelled occasions, many missed pronunciations, I watch her, I am a plugged motivator, school is an elementary bother for private education, Christian a named religion, people discriminate, they are symbiotic ego manifestation.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes."

"We're worried about you."

"....."

"You'll see us on television."

"?"

"Every single one of us. We'll do it for you. It's a big clue......we need a place to stay and eat."

"Where?"

"Florida."

"?"

"That's where we come from."

Marshes, swamps, ravines, grey houses, neighbors, television, trees....how strange.

"Okay cut!"

"Where to now?"

"Imaginary Texas."

"This is rough."

"We got to be fat kids?"

"....."

"I'm a little chunky."

"Not really."

"I can do it."

"We got to do it."

"This is for them."

"?"

"Our children."

"You are still....."

"Small?"

"....."

"Will this confuse you?"

"Yes....."

"We're worried."

"So am I."

Friends so strange, artistic reminisce, awards, theatrical sadness, she eats a lot; which one, whenever or wherever evades my momentary scandal, I felt the dream, somebody experienced the emotion. Girlfriends, boyfriends, sexual encounters....

"Where is my husband?"

"Getting made up to be a neurotic hair puller."

"?"

"That's what Marsha did."

"Pardon?"

"You'll see...."

"Whose idea?"

"Mine."

"Steph?"

"Her name is Nikki - Nicolette."

"After my daughter's...."

"I worried the implanted memory would be really sad, this way you will remember your daughter from thinking about the name."

"Very well....."

"Zen's ready."

"Will I be there?"

"Sort of.....hard to explain."

"Put this over my head?"

"You are going to be his boyfriend. His name is....what was it again?"

"Herman."

"Her-man?"

"He likes weed a lot but he's stupid."

"Okay...."

Drop out excitement no longer encouraging activity or escape from reality, freakish attire transformation from preparatory inmate sudden revolution, demeanor of vegetarian commitment to relationship of divorcing naturalism, vegan expenditure normality vacillates supremacy of shedding sebaceous imagery, who am I again?

"Remember this shit Victoria."

"Who experiences directly?"

"Nobody! It's fucking bullshit."

"What about that woman?"

"Marsha is going to feel this. Every single bit of it."

"Quite literally.....?"

"Yup."

"What of me for clarity?"

"We won't be here to find out."

"I miss you Sunny."

"Diesel how will I find you?"

"Find Pookah first."

"No you go to Diesel first."

"Where is Mookie?"

"She said something about lighting candles."

"I'm getting angry."

"I know....."

"These scars are unusual."

"You're so soft."

"We got to take pictures?"

"We all look different."

"You should be able to tell the difference Victoria."

".....the extent of proposed placation is delusional....."

Work fast food, retail toys, home decor, fired, unpaid, disappointment is a sorrowful game, break up, make up, sexual harassment, pizza delivery, apartment rentals, stolen property, neighbors fighting whomever may be, glorious madness for my unbecoming, stuck somewhere.

"She looks....."

"Whoa....."

For my Husband and my Boyfriend, you are my dream, you are my enjoyment, you are my pleasure, you are my all, words shall never conclude us, worlds shall come undone, my devotion for you remains, I am forever your woman.

Dazed hazy rebellion, nobody paying for anything, miscommunication, no longer desire behavioral staged parents, no longer desire a doll house family for imaginary presentation.

"I can be the mother."

"What about him?"

"Thad?"

"Okay."

"This is starting to confuse me."

"No shit."

"She's making that face again....."

Madness.....

"Who knows what he was doing anymore!"

"He told me to name somebody after him."

"She said the same."

"What does a name imply?"

"Everything."

Alcohol legality, marijuana growing for selfish puffs of boring lung dismissal, cigarette cost sky rocketing coughs, online auction goods, staring into nothingness thinking about somebody else, cursing electronic mail, blind affairs, gaming deviance, movie clocks, driven adventures, gasoline heart, clothing outgrown for attention, hobbies fall into pieces of sacrificial torment, sleepy wishes, daydream kisses, lost inside another man's imagination, stranger than weather, food is important, health a nutritional intellectual consideration, many of me, many of my husband, many of my daughter, many of my twin, many of our own, touch within what is without, house standing alone, situations creating people, personalities without homes.

"I am going to kiss her."

"Chester....don't."

"I know you want to kiss him!"

"She's out of it."

"I don't blame her. That was really confusing."

"I'm going to kick that fat lady."

"Where is she?"

"Hooked to the thing."

"Already?"

"She couldn't wait."

"Stupid...."

Masturbation is self molestation, I hate to watch it but I am; this is not my body however I am plugged into a machine. Videos cross over, I play many of this character's lovers, worry not for reputation, this is not me, I desire an ending, there is no accomplishment for maneuvering tormentors whichever they may be.

"I feel shell shock Mookie."

"You going to feel that a whole lot."

"They won't age."

"I know but they ain't going to understand."

"What can we do?"

"You got to get us out of here."

"Don't you fret Diesel; he's a going to."

"Leo...I don't know how to reach you."

"You want me to be my imprisoned roommate?"

"Her name is Jaclyn."

Jacyln - fooled by the fool, accidental thief, hectic habitat

"You want me to be her too?"

"They are going to be disks eventually."

"I won't remember their damn names."

"I'm so confused."

"They're going to attack with some Jesus shit."

"They are all going to do that."

"You got to go to jail three times."

"After that?"

"We won't be here."

"She's going to lose everything."

"Nicodemus what of our possessions?"

"Stuff remains."

"What of our enemies?"

"....."

"If this ever happens to you remember this moment."

"What were their names?"

"Charles and Young."

Visiting a girl at night several blights of authority eventuates criminal trespassing for sudden hair pulling kitchen stove handle loosening grip here comes the police, work is a GMC truck delivering fast food pizza, arrested for another round of the same, stranger insinuating abused father victim, two imaginary cats exhaustively riding along; adoption a dramatic theory of emotional distress, pictures torn strewn across selected by personal discretion unfortunate of happenings yet to be addressed, county prison second reminisce unanticipated sadness, strange roommates, job searching belated for black wig to eye contact similarity, noticeable clone formations rippling through marsh waters to a tree of dollars I find another self working a laid off tissue, blood is visual punishment, tears fall missing my self, missing my own, the end is a nameless suspect on trial.

"I do not want your last name Chester."

"....."

"Did you hear?"

"....."

"I desire our married name."

"....."

"Thad...."

"I punched him."

"I'm so confused."

"He likes bones a lot."

"Maybe they need to spend a little.....without each other....."

"I wish she would know we're talking about her."

"I'm so confused."

"Cows...."

"Vicki I ain't mad at you but you's got to loosen them hard parts!"

"Child, I shall always be with you come what, come what shall not, come what happens, come what becomes of unbecoming....."

"Momma I like cats a lot."

"Thad she won't answer to any other name but Juliet."

"He won't answer to any other name than Romeo."

"Cordelia broke his nose."

"Who?"

"The fat guy!"

"I'm so confused."

"Are you sure?"

"I hated being them."

"Me too."

"Was it a bad dream Victoria?"

"Twas extremely vivid."

"Give those kids the switches."

"What if we all become trapped?"

"He ate a lot of bread and butter. I don't know how he did not.....or get.....big."

"You sure about this?"

"Both of them?"

"All of them?"

"They want them to have the same first names and habits."

Madness.....