No Matter

"..Diesel I'm really worried and sad....."

"Got to get it over with Sun."

"We dream about this shit every now and then....doesn't make any sense..."

"That's why you just got to get it over with Sunny."

Avie circles me thrice; I see my baby. Lucid touches my nose, Nadia kisses my forehead, Tusk lifts me into a hug. My husband cradles Sin underneath his chestnut chin.

"It takes a little while."

"Thad.....will I ever see them again?"

"Will I ever see you again?"

"....where is your twin?"

"......Chester....Rosa...well I am pretty sure he agreed to the same position. I miss him...we faked it for the fakers...you know...like you did inside the generator."

"Was that dream real?"

"...the one where you were in some fucked up field with an ugly god damn fucking house?"

"......I was laying in a bed."

"Yeah it was a real thing you did. We didn't tie in every graphic or gene sequence. It was just that little spot...that's why if anybody goes inside of it they get stuck. How did you get out?"

"Some man killed himself."

"That's what they all said. They all said somebody killed their own self. How did you all see each other again?"

"I'm not sure."

"The graphs were not even inside the same generator. It was all chopped and screwed. It would of made it impossible....they fucked with it a little though..."

"Who?"

"Simon and Simone."

"How?"

"...I don't know."

"Where will they be?"

"...Victoria..."

"?"

"They are mortal. I doubt they will survive."

".......where will they be?"

"Simon chose your box and Simone chose your husband's box."

"How do I find him?"

"They wanted the pretend life; they thought it would be better than what they had...I doubt they will ever stop."

"I understand."

"....If I find out where you are or who knows you I will remember...everything."

"Sooner than that..."

"Okay. Did you say good bye?"

"No.."

"I pissed on something."

"Really?"

"Yeah..."

"What?"

"Your car."

"....what if it does not last long?"

"......well I sort of missed and ended up getting some on some people..."

"Who?"

"...those ugly things you got to live with."

".....what will that do?"

"Make them vulnerable."

"To what?"

"....anyways I think I got it on both yours and your husband's....I can't tell the difference between what is what...so whatever.."

Thad distances himself from me.

"Enoch...how did the children act?"

"...they pretended to talk about harmless things and routinely functioned...they acted like nothing was going on at all."

"Did it make you angry?"

"Vehement."

"How did you deal with it?"

"I ignored them."

"Did you know they were there?"

".......yes then after some happenings came about I didn't care."

"How did you survive?"

"I had to."

"What kept you alive?"

"The thought of what may come."

Ambrosia places his hands upon my belly; he exclaims softness and loose proportions. I exclaim his thickness and hard protrusions.

"When will we switch?"

"...I don't know. Where is Natassja?"

"She chose blackness."

"?"

"Something about power lines..."

"Hhhmm..."

"Remember me always."

"...think of me when you desire an end."

Diesel presses his hand against my forehead; I am feverish red.

"You ain't going to eat raisins or fish for a long time..."

"What?"

"Nothing...who's that lady?"

"Huh?"

"She's crying about you."

"Why's she crying?"

"I know...I know...she does that...out of nowhere...you don't got to worry about shit...she'll get them...that's why you want her there...she'll get all of them...don't worry about any of that shit...don't you worry about a god damn shit."

"...what is she like?"

"Well I'll be a god damn prisoner."

"Okay."

"Did you see the cereal?"

"Who are you asking?"

"You..."

"What am I doing?"

"Typing...that's all I can get from it."

"....what does it look like?"

"Confetti from Mardi Gras."

"What about it?"

"They hit him in the head!"

"Who?"

"You saw him!"

".....damn..who did it?"

"The police!"

"Why?"

"He told them those people was fucking with you!"

"The police hit him?"

"Not a real one. Some weenie motherfucker."

"He dresses like one?"

"You saw him!"

"Where was he?"

"...some place the guy really likes you a lot. The guy thinks you're an ace but he gets trapped a lot inside some damn green line..."

"....what happens to the guy that hit him?"

"Sunny you got a lot of things to do."

"...."

"Sunny you got a whole hell of a lot of things to do."

"...."

"Don't start until you see him."

"Who?"

"....."

"God damn it Diesel."

"You got to get those plastic boxes first."

"Then what?"

"...............well that one don't look like you at all what the hell...oh shit..."

"What?"

"...Sunny...........you got to lose that weight."

"What is it like?"

"If you lose that you won't have any extra nothing. That is weird...most people it's hard and steady...yours is like water or something...nobody going to recognize you...you got to do that before you can do that...else you going to be too slow and heavy...that damn tree wants to lift you up way up and I mean damn! The feather...you're going to know what I am talking about."

David automates digital actors and wears my character's garment; Thad wires Dolly into a disk. Steph stages a neighborhood test moment; I walk upon a sidewalk next to Young. Several concrete square slabs later I carry a grey feather inside my palm.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"....I saw something inside the slide bloop."

"What is a slide bloop?"

"We use it to edit memories."

"It was a feather."

"No it wasn't..."

"It looked like a feather."

"Where did it go?"

"You asked me that."

"....that was part of the act...that was her line..."

"It went straight up."

"Where?"

"The clouds!"

".....wow."

"What?"

"It came up as a crack."

"A crack in what?"

"It seeped through each thing. I can't fix it. Nobody can...oh well who gives a shit."

I lean into Zen's lips; I hear a bat squeak.

Little White Hair AKA Darkwing is bugging out! People inside the house co-conspire taking over lady devil worshiper's shop! She ask for big play friend! Big play friend don't understand right now and I cannot write hieroglyphics for him to recite. They cannot take it from her because he is there. They are afraid of him because he magnetizes clocks and time processing machines. They are the worst people we ever encounter. These people are the lowest detestable slime formations of gene disambiguation and hate each other secretly. They are made out of fecal matter from a grey donkey; she ate their hay. Several people ask Victoria to get rid of Swamp Lady but she did not like the approach; several bats ask me to get rid of Swamp Lady but I do not like the approach. Now we have to see why Swamp Lady is making bad dreams for us. Weight is hard to lose. He do not eat anything unnatural or fattening. We do not understand how it come off. Tricky body is upset with him for taking advantage of his metabolism. Fried foods, fish blood, too much cane juice, too much too much. Many people not going to understand us; we cannot help what we are and what we do not control.

"She asked for you specifically..."

"?"

"A couple of people do...they ask Satan."

"Okay."

"You got to stop eating honey and sugar."

"What else?"

"...just eat tuna and vegetables."

"Damn..."

"You eat a lot of wheats and oats."

"Yeah..."

"You can't do that anymore."

"......damn it."

"I'm talking to you typing person who is annoyed and bored and misunderstood."

"The future?"

"Yeah well you can only eat that stuff once with a little cup. That will help you run and lift those black things...I'll be a vegetarian. Damn he sure does snort and cough a lot. That annoys the hell out of you. He sounds like a donkey. They snort like that...the cough is from smoking crack."

"That's why his teeth looked like that?"

"That guy you saw burning?

"....fuck man I have never been so sad in my life."

"Yeah she does that."

"Will I always be alone?"

"Just make sure you got that blue piece."

"Will I?"

"...........she can't help it!"

"I am going to sleep."

"You do that quite a bit."

Darkwing understands more than Play Friend accepts as his own thoughts and perception. Too much pain emitted from man and woman character; they are very hurtful and cruel. We do not understand them but I understand they will receive what they do no matter what it takes; we shall not wait. Tis up to suffering. All the ravens must give up the bones. Play Friend must keep going no matter what; they hurt him the most but he don't know they are here most moments. He makes them think they are sick and crazy on accident. I watch him. They know they are sick and crazy. That is why they pretend not to be. Play Friend may be madness but he is good crazy; these people are bad crazy. I prefer for us not to be crazy at all that way they will be on their own. I wish people did not give them money or feed them. That make it worse for them not us. Why do they do that? They must try to pay them back but the money they used for them was stolen from church donation. No matter how much you tell them and how much we tell them those people will never understand until they are buried with all their friends. Too many black shadows look at us; they wait for the woman and the man. Ravens want enlightenment but mortals cannot give anyone freedom. They are the people who imprison us. We do not think this will ever end but we are here indefinitely.